Scratch
by quisinart4
Summary: Steve and Kono struggle to find their way back to normal, and discover something even better than before. Post-2x05 COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Summary: **Steve and Kono struggle to find their way back to normal, and discover something even better than before.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's Note:** This is set after 2x05 aka Kono's undercover arc and the aftermath of it that the show handled horribly wrong. Re-posting here because updates were discontinued last year, I apologize. I know it's late and we're already in s3 now, but I thought maybe some Steve/Kono fans would still be interested in reading the story.

Title is based on the lyrics of "Scratch" from Kendall Payne. I was inspired by the Steve/Kono YouTube video of the song, so thank you to whoever created it. Many thanks to **badhairdays** for her help because I never would have started (or finished!) this monster of a piece without her. There will be a total of ten parts and comments are most welcome, please and thank you.

* * *

Kono's half asleep as the team celebrates her return at 5-0 headquarters. All she wants is to go home, and she can't even drink because of the pain medication they gave her for the bullet graze, but Danny insisted they reunite for a drink. She nods at the appropriate times while listening to Danny's stories. He's talking more than usual tonight, as if trying to make up for lost time and make her feel better by filling her in on Grace and her new school year, and any of Steve's Rambo-like incidents Kono's missed over the past few months. She can feel Steve staring at her intently from across the table but he doesn't say a word, so neither does she. Chin is at her side, quiet and solemn, drink in hand, and she sees the new girl giving her curious glances from the corner of her eye. Kono really should say hi. You know, now that she's not in cuffs.

But not right now. Her arm hurts, she's tired to the bone, and all she wants is to get some sleep. It feels like she hasn't gotten a proper night's rest since the booking in HPD months ago. The summer has been a hectic one, to say the least.

When Chin notices her nodding off, he puts his arm around her shoulder to guide her to the door, and tells the guys he's taking her home. The room falls silent, even Danny stops chattering, as they watch her leave. Kono ignores the eyes on her and focuses on Chin's comforting presence at her side. She waves goodbye sleepily in the team's direction and is asleep by the time Chin pulls into her driveway.

* * *

She wakes up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, sheets twisted around her. The fear of the undercover operation hits her, the panic so volatile that she can barely breathe for a minute and it seems like her chest is caving in. Almost like her arm wound knows, it starts to itch under the bandage and Kono resists scratching at it. She takes deep breaths to remind herself it's over. There will be no phone calls from dirty ex-cops who need her help in shady underground dealings, there will be no car chases with gunfire blazing, there will be no getting dragged away in handcuffs as her old teammates watch.

She barely sleeps another hour before a nightmare has her awake and nearly hysterical. This time, Danny and Steve watch as Chin cuffs her and throws her into interrogation where Delano's waiting, accusation and anger bright in his eyes. Kono screams and yells that this is a big misunderstanding, that she can explain, to get Fryer, but they slam the door without a dash of remorse or recognition. She turns to face Delano and that's when she wakes up to realize she's screaming out loud in the silence of her bedroom.

She doesn't bother trying to go back to sleep. Instead, she rides her bike to the beach to sit and stare at the ocean.

* * *

Fryer has her come into HPD a week later to give her statements. There's a lot of them - what happened in the car during the chase, what happened in the motel room with Joyner's wife, what happened at the bank, and formal paperwork on re-joining 5-0. She's required to have physical therapy a few weeks for her arm, and psych appointments for a couple more weeks after that. She gives her testimony and answers all the questions he asks, making sure to keep any hint of emotion out of her voice. She never trusted this man from the start, and she knows it was a miracle that she managed to get out of the assignment with just a graze. But get out she did, no thanks to him. Now she wants to walk away from it and get back to her real job.

"Hey, Kono," Fryer calls to her as she grabs her bag to leave his office. She turns back. He pauses, as if debating with himself whether to say anything. Finally, he does. "Good work out there. Thanks."

"Yeah. Sure."

She doesn't thank him for anything in return.

* * *

"Hey, guys."

Kono gets up early, worries too much about her outfit, and walks through 5-0 headquarters, hoping the place would be deserted. A quiet entrance is what she's hoping for, to catch Steve alone before the rest of the team gets in. No extra attention would be needed. Everything back to normal without any fuss. Instead, she finds the team already there, crowded around the plasma screens, deep in conversation. They turn in surprise at the sound of her voice.

"Um... I'm here. For work," she adds needlessly, trying to maintain her confidence as the boys (And that new girl, what's her name again? Laura? Lauren?) stare. Their faces are ones she knows so well after a year of working side by side, spending too much time holed up inside these four walls, but now she fights the instinct to turn and run as they stare at her.

Danny's the first to break the spell. Good old Danny. Can always count on him.

"Kono! Good to have you back. Your office should all be in one piece." He points toward the general direction of it. "Unless Steve's started storing his weapons arsenal in there or something. Or the grenades he likes to keep handy. You know about that incident from last year, right?"

Kono forces herself to relax, and to smile like she means it. Just Danny sharing another story of how Steve almost got him killed. Same old Monday morning routine. "Yeah, you shared that one already. You need new material."

"Oh, no, no, I don't. I do not. The stories I have of how I've almost died on the job thanks to GI Joe here are enough for me, thank you very much."

"Good to see you, cuz," Chin says warmly with a smile, and this time, Kono smiles back with ease. Sometimes she finds herself staggered by his loyalty and the love he showers upon her, especially when their own family turned him away. His eyes are always kind, his tone always gentle, and she finally feels more comfortable being in the room, it finally feels familiar to her after her time away.

She takes a breath and turns to look at Steve, whose eyes are locked on her. "Uh, can I talk to you, please, Boss?" she adds, her word for him stumbling out of her instead of the ease with which she used it during the past year.

Steve gestures to his office. "Yeah, of course, sure," and heads for his office.

Danny gives her a reassuring nod and, this time, Kono genuinely smiles back before she follows Steve.

It's silent in the room as they wait for the other to talk first. He's leaning back against his desk staring at her, his eyes focused on her face, flickering to the bandage on her upper arm. The brow of his forehead is wrinkled as if he's in deep thought, or concern, or guilt. She can't be sure. To Kono, it feels like it's been ages since she saw him last, like he's a stranger now, someone she used to know, and she can't be quite sure of what his face is saying, even if at one point in time, she often knew what he was going to say before he spoke. She recognizes the look though - from when they'd be working on a particularly complex case, one where the facts aren't what they want them to be, and they won't transform, no matter how long Steve stares at them, willing them to bend his way. But she's not a puzzle to be deciphered, and the time for figuring things out is over now. The pieces have fallen and she'll put herself back together.

She finds herself fidgeting with the strap of her bag in the doorway and forces herself to relax. The tension in the room feels so thick, like it could be physical, as if there is actually a giant crater gaping the distance between her and Steve, between her and returning to normal with him. But when she blinks, there's nothing there. No crater, no wall, no gaping hole between them, just Steve standing there staring at her, waiting for her to say something, while she waits for him to speak first.

Deep breath, Kono. Just like old times, she tells herself. She takes a few steps further into the room to stand in front of him.

"Uh, I have some paperwork from IA for you to look over. To re-instate me."

"Okay," Steve says, taking the folder she holds out.

"Fryer wants that by the end of the week, if you can," she adds.

"Sure."

Another pause. Kono continues with what she has to say.

"I can't be in the field for three weeks cause of the arm," she shrugs her right shoulder unconsciously and then winces. "I may have to leave on Thursdays for physical therapy."

Steve nods, his dark eyes tracing over her face as though he can see the circles she's hiding with a pound of concealer.

"And..." Come on, Kono, just get it all out and be done with it. "I have... I have to meet with the department shrink on Tuesday mornings so I may be late those days," she says quickly as if maybe he won't understand the words if she gets them out fast enough.

But that would be too easy. And there's nothing easy about this.

Steve continues to stare at her, then nods again. "Okay."

"That's it," she finishes. She feels restless all of a sudden, as if the air in the room and Steve's stare are suffocating her. Her arm starts to itch and she struggles not to scratch under the bandage in front of him. She's said all she needed to. She doesn't know how to make her exit now.

"Uh... How's the new girl?" she asks, trying to fill the void of silence even with small talk.

"She's a good profiler. And learned all the tech stuff pretty fast from Chin," Steve comments.

"That's good. Cause Danny'll never get the hang of it," she says, and they share a quick smile over Danny's technological ineptitude.

And, great, there's the awkward silence again. Kono shifts from one foot to the other, wondering how best to escape the room.

"That's good you had another set of hands," she says lamely, trying to ignore the sting of jealousy at the new addition settling in, getting familiar with the tech toys, and spending time with the guys, _her_ guys. It's hardly the woman's fault for being assigned to 5-0, Kono knows that.

"Well, she's no you," Steve proclaims.

They stare at each other for a second, his eyes so intense with emotion that Kono reminds herself to breathe. She lets out a sigh and goes for the deflecting with a joke routine. That always works well. "Aw, thanks, Boss. Well, Fryer was no you, either," she says, her voice light.

Instead of laughing or rolling her eyes like she expected, Steve continues to stare at her, and straightens from his desk. He looks like he's about to say something, but the last thing Kono wants is to talk about it. The last thing she needs is to go over it all again, especially with Steve.

"I wasn't- I meant- he was..." She stops trying to explain the joke and takes a breath. "Um, well, I'll help with the research and let you know when I'm cleared for fieldwork," she says quickly and makes her way out of the office.

"Kono, wait." Steve calls, a few steps behind her, but she's already out the door and in the main control room. Chin, Danny, and the new girl all turn to look at her. She can feel Steve's presence behind her but she ignores it and walks straight to the new addition on the team.

"Hi, I'm Kono," she says, hand out, smile on her face. Might as well make a new friend.

The blonde woman stares at her for a second; probably to adjust the image she has from their first meeting when she had to pull a weapon on her after a high speed car chase then cuff her when she was found with a dead body in the car. She shakes Kono's hand and smiles in return. "Lori. Nice to finally meet you, Kono."

"You, too. Welcome to the team," Kono says with a smile, taking a seat next to Lori and facing the screen. "What are you guys working on?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

******Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to those who commented on the first chapter. I really appreciate it when people take the time and show their excitement. This chapter's a little longer than the others but I didn't want to split up the sections.

* * *

Physical therapy is a bitch but Kono bears through it. What she misses more than anything is the ocean. She can hardly get in the water with the bandage on, and floating waist-deep is not enough. She wants nothing more than a good swim, and she's sure that after a long surf, she'll finally start to feel like herself again. She's never felt more home anywhere than in the water.

It doesn't help that the boys are hovering.

Chin is constantly at her side, even more than usual, Danny keeps helping her with paperwork (she's right handed, and it hurts to keep her hand steady enough to write a paragraph), and Steve? Well, he doesn't say much of anything but he can't keep his eyes off her, following her movements across the room as if she may fall apart any second and he's ready to swoop in and rescue her. A little late for her prince to arrive, so she ignores him.

It's sweet that they're being protective but she doesn't need them baby-sitting her, especially in front of the new girl. Lori's pretty cool, good with the profiling, and Kono connects with her dry humor immediately. But she doesn't want Lori to see her treated like the baby sister of the group. Kono's always held her own when it came to the team, and that's not going to change now.

Lori's gone to HPD, Steve and Chin are out questioning a witness, and it's her and Danny eating dinner and looking over their suspect's credit card bills. Kono's holding the fork in her left hand to twirl the spaghetti because her right arm aches after some grueling physical therapy yesterday. Okay, fine, that's a lie. Maybe she's been working the arm extra before bed but only because she _really_ needs the damn bandage to come off so she can finally dive into the ocean. She resists the urge to park and jump in every time she drives by the beach, it's torture.

Kono stabs the spaghetti again, letting out a groan when the noodles refuse to cooperate, and throws her fork down. She sighs and then looks up to see Danny watching from the other side of the table. She flushes at being caught.

"Never liked Italian food much anyway," she claims and pushes the container aside, staring at the screen with fake concentration.

"Hey, I can help," Danny says and comes to stand next to her.

"Danny," she begins, her voice carrying hints of embarrassment and annoyance. "I'm not Grace. I don't need you to twirl my spaghetti for me." She gives him a glare but he grabs the fork anyway.

"I know you don't, but what I need is for you to eat up and kick ass again," he says holding the fork out to her. Kono refuses to look at it, instead looking him straight in the eyes with her _not amused, this may end with you getting punched in the face_ look. But Danny knows her too well and simply smiles. "Come on," he says, waving the fork under her nose a few times, as if enticing her with the smell. "I know you're hungry. We barely get meal times working for Slavemaster Steve so make it quick, Kono."

She can't help but smile; she's a sucker for Danny's creative terms of endearment for Steve. She rolls her eyes then obliges, opens her mouth wide, allowing Danny to feed her.

"Aha!" He says, with a flourish, his own meal forgotten as he prepares another forkful for her. "I knew it. How's the arm?"

"Fine," she says between another mouthful of food. "Just sore. Should have the bandage off next week."

"Good to know."

They lapse in silence for a few minutes, Danny still feeding her when she finishes her mouthfuls while Kono looks through the bills.

"Kono, I'm... I'm really sorry." She looks at him in surprise. It's not that far of a distance even with him standing up and her sitting down; she can see his eyes, wide and honest, as he looks at her earnestly. "About everything that happened. I should have been around more."

She sighs. "Danny, can we not-"

"We can, and we will!" Danny says, her fork left in the container as he begins talking with his hands. "I owe you an apology. I'm sorry, Kono. I should have been there for you more. I should have pushed more if you weren't picking up the phone, or visited your place, and I should have been there."

He stares at her, his face displaying all his regret in tense lines and his regretful stare. He's a good guy, Kono knows that. He's a good friend, and a great father, and she figures he's probably been waiting restlessly for weeks to get the apology out, waiting for the right moment to finally have this conversation.

"It's okay, Danny," she says softly, using her left hand to touch his arm in assurance. Even after being MIA the last few weeks, Kono's known Danny for a year now and mere weeks cannot erase that she knows he's a good man with a kind heart.

"No, Kono, it's not. I got wrapped up in my own crap and I was a shitty friend to you and that's my fault. But I promise you, it will not happen again," he vows.

"I heard about Rachel," Kono says. "Chin told me." She catches a flash of pain on his face, the kind of raw and emotional pain that hurts from a place deep inside, and doesn't elaborate any further. "I'm really sorry, Danny. That blows."

"Yeah, well, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway," he says with a shrug, playing with her food.

"Hey," she says, tugging on his sleeve so he looks at her. "You don't know that. But if she's gonna let you go twice, it's her loss."

"Thanks," Danny says, a genuine smile on his face as he leans on the table. "It's just... I got my hopes up about Grace, and that's what sucks."

Kono looks at his face and realizes what that must have been like for a father who cares about his daughter so much. The idea of coming home to her, of waking up with her in the same house, of being there for her all day, every day, instead of the mere weekends and afternoons he gets now. Her heart breaks for the hurt he must have felt when that possibility was taken away from him. Kono can't imagine that pain, or that depth of love, but Danny suffers through it every day.

"Danny, you're an amazing dad. You are. And Grace is so lucky to have you. That's what she's gonna remember in the end," she says with a kind smile and watches as Danny nods, choked up with emotion like he gets when him being a single father is mentioned.

He sighs. "Kind of a sucky summer for all of us, am I right?"

"Well, Boss and that murder charge, me undercover, you and the ex," she lists with a laugh. Hey, may as well joke about it, right? "At least Chin's gettin' lucky."

"Oh! Things with Malia going good? They're back on?" Danny inquires, ever the office gossip.

"Yeah. I think they're good," she muses. She still hasn't forgiven Malia and she doesn't want to mend fences with her right now, but Chin's going to date whoever he wants and there's nothing she can do about that. All she can do is support him and be happy for him because he seems very happy to have Malia back in his life.

"Well, good for him, he could use some cheer in his life," Danny says.

Kono laughs. "Couldn't we all?"

"I really am sorry, Kono," he says again, eyes locked on her. "I don't blame you for being pissed at me, but I just hope we can go back to the way things were. We good for now?"

"Yeah, brah, we're good," she replies kindly, and watches Danny smile in thankfulness and relief. She knows he's got a heart as big as the island, and the last thing she wants is to continue to feel bitter when he's made the gesture of apologizing. All she can do is move on.

"Oh, thank god," Danny says and puts his arm around her shoulder to pull her in for a hug. "I'm really glad you're back cause I suck with this computer shit and now I can stop pretending to learn."

Kono laughs as he tousles her hair playfully. "You are such an idiot. I bet you I could teach Grace all the keyboard shortcuts in one afternoon!"

"Hey, that's not fair, she's from the generation of the iPhone. Why do we even need that much stuff? Shopping for Christmas just gets more and more expensive each year with all the upgrades." He goes back to twirling spaghetti for her as she laughs at his complaints.

"Like you don't spoil her every year even without the fancy toys."

"I spoil her a reasonable amount, thank you very much. Nothing too excessive. Remember that one house we went to last year with the missing nanny? The electronics in that kid's room cost more than my car."

"Is that with or without inflation from the Great Depression era?" she teases.

"Can we not bring my age into this, please? That's not fighting fair, Kalakaua, and I demand that-"

"Are we interrupting something here?"

They turn to see Steve and Chin staring at them, eyebrows raised as they listen to Kono and Danny's chatter and see their embrace. Kono gently removes herself from under Danny's arm and he gives her a reassuring wink.

"Yeah, you know, a romantic candlelit dinner for two with the ambiance of the mugshots on the screen for mood lighting. It's where I bring all the girls," Danny says sarcastically as Chin and Steve join them at the table. Dinner's over.

"Oh, is this where you bring your hot museum lady friend?" Kono asks with a mischievous grin. She likes office gossip as much as the next person.

Chin chuckles as all eyes turn to Danny who stares at Kono in surprise. "What? How- how do you know about her?"

"Lori told me," Kono says with a shrug. The girls have got to talk about something during downtime. Why not talk about the boys?

"God, this place is just like high school!" Danny exclaims. "You tell something to one person," he turns to Steve who puts his hands up in an act of innocence, "and the whole school knows by lunch."

"No worries, brah, we're rooting for you two," Kono teases. She'd forgotten how much fun it is to get Danny riled up.

"Oh great, now we have fangirls cheering for us to make it down the aisle. That's no pressure at all." But he's grinning at her as he makes his way back to his seat and they turn to hear what Chin and Steve have to say.

Kono's eyes meet Danny's across the table as they share a friendly smile after their conversation over dinner. She feels full and content from the inside out, and she's sure it's not just because of the spaghetti he fed her.

* * *

They have a suspect in interrogation who they're pretty sure killed his girlfriend and kidnapped her four-year-old daughter and everyone is tense because he's not saying a word. The guy's arrogant and cocky attitude is pissing everybody off as they try and find the right evidence to place him at the scene. Tire tracks and DNA matches have failed and they're looking into neighbors to ID the guy.

Danny paces in front of the computer screens. "Just let me at him, okay? I'll get him to talk." His hands clearly articulate the method he has in mind to get the guy to open up.

"No can do, Danno, if only it was that easy," Steve replies even as he sighs, his face telling the team he wishes they could handle things Danny's way. "Okay, let's try this again. Danny, Chin, you two meet with the neighbor and see if he'll agree to see a sketch artist from HPD. We need to put this guy at the house when he wasn't supposed to be there since he's on the security footage. And don't even argue, Danny," he says as Danny opens his mouth to do just that. "You kill him and it's on me. Lori, Kono, and I will try questioning him again, throw some new faces in and get him worried about a possible eyewitness. Let's see if he cracks at that."

"Fine, but if that doesn't work by the time I'm back, I'm having another go at him," Danny warns as he and Chin leave.

Kono trails behind Steve and Lori as they make their way down to the hall of interrogation rooms. The last time she was led down this hallway, she was in cuffs. She still remembers the look of pain on Chin Ho's face when she passed him, the remorse on Danny's as he tried to give her a comforting smile, the attempt failing. It had been the most humiliating thing to be thrown in the same room she knew they'd had put _actual_ criminals in. She knew that because she'd thrown her fair share in while working.

As they step into the room, she's reminded of the harsh glare of the lights. When you're on the other side, in the position of power and towering over the individual, it doesn't hit you how perfectly they've set up the mood of the room for the person in the chair. Dark, cold, drafty... downright hopeless. Kono gets a look at the suspect, hands cuffed, a smug smile on his face at having stumped 5-0 so far on this case. She wonders if she looked that cocky. She certainly hadn't felt it. She'd felt _scared_. She'd felt helpless at having Steve towering over her, the anger coming off him in waves. She had wanted to scream that this was all part of a bigger plan, to trust her, but it felt like the room had silenced her and she wasn't able to speak.

"Look, Chris, let's just cut to the chase." Steve's voice shakes her from her thoughts. "We have a witness who can place you at the house that night at 9PM." She watches him circle around the chair like a shark who's just found dinner.

"Our eyewitness puts you there so your alibi is useless at this point," Lori adds, building up the witness as credible even as they desperately hope it works out that way with the sketch artist.

"You're lying," the guy accuses at the news.

But when he looks from one face to the other, they hear the faintest trace of worry in his tone, they catch the slight widening of his eyes. He's thinking maybe he was sloppy, maybe he missed something. Only the guilty worry. Once they can make him doubt himself, doubt his confidence that he got away with it, they've got him.

"See, thing is, Chris, you may have gotten past the security system just fine but you forgot about the neighbors. People care about their neighbors here in Hawaii and that's what's gonna bring you down for this," Steve declares.

"You guys got nothin'."

Steve ignores him and continues speaking. "But what we can do is offer you a deal. You tell us where the little girl is, we'll tell the judge you helped us out and see if we can take a few years off your murder charge," Steve bargains, going to stand in the corner of the room, confident now that he'll give in. It's only a matter of time.

"I don't know where she is!"

"Oh, I think you do. Keep thinking, because once I take back this offer, you're on your own. Murder and kidnapping. You're away for life." Steve's voice is loud, booming across the small room, bouncing off the walls.

Kono looks at him standing there and remembers a different Steve who looked at her. She remembers his frustration, his anger, his disbelief at having to question her, and the way he'd crowded her, the way he'd yelled. Because that was what they did to suspects. They all know the tricks and they use them when necessary to trap suspects, to catch them in their lies. That's what they did to the guilty - they got them to _break._

Kono starts to feel a bead of sweat trail down the back of her neck; her hands are shaking, and she's starting to feel clammy, as if the room's giving her the chills. Not good, not good at all. She takes a look around the room from where she's standing. Lori's by the doorway, Steve's still staring at the suspect in that way he does that scares half the people who sit in the chair into spilling their guts right away. She takes quick steps to the door, quick but calm steps, because the last thing she needs is for Steve to notice anything.

Too late.

He looks at her questioningly as she crosses to the door, quickly mutters "bathroom," and heads down the hall to the restroom.

She stares at herself in the mirror, takes a few deep breaths. Just an interrogation room. She's been in there a hundred times over the past year, played good cop and bad cop, both roles when necessary, and she has to get back in there and do her job again now because this is why she got her badge back, this is what she's here to do.

The door opens behind her and she jumps, scared that maybe Steve followed her. To her relief, and slight disappointment, it's Lori. She comes to stand next to Kono at the sink, grabs a paper towel from the dispenser and runs it under some water, hands it to her with a reassuring smile. "Here."

"Thanks. I'm fine," Kono tells her before the other woman can even ask how she's doing. She hates that question lately. Such a meaningless piece of shit question... Unless the other person actually cares enough to listen to the answer.

"I know," Lori replies with a nod.

"Don't tell the guys," Kono orders her fiercely after a second passes in silence. Last thing she needs is Lori to spill to the boys that she got a little bit of stage fright at the thought of performing again in the interrogation room. She doesn't know much about the woman and doesn't know how much she can trust her considering she's supposed to be working for the Governor, but let's hope she can at least respect keeping a secret.

"I won't." Kono continues to glare at her. "I won't," Lori assures her again. "Want some advice?"

Kono doesn't answer, though her body language indicates she doesn't want to have this conversation. Lori seems to understand this but ignores her silence and begins to speak anyway, leaving Kono with no choice but to listen.

"Just take it slow. Get back into the feel of the room and get comfortable being in it again as the cop in charge, not the one being questioned," Lori advises. "Remember that _you_ are back in control and you are the one calling the plays. Use it as a skill, because being in that chair did not give you a weakness, it gave you a tool."

"What are you, profiling us?" Kono snaps at her harshly as Lori winces at the accusation.

"No," the blonde says a little too quickly. This time, Kono turns to stare at her, the same way she would when she knows a suspect is lying but she needs for them to admit it out loud so she can have it on record. Lori sighs, then admits it. "Okay, fine, yes, I am. But can you blame me? It sucks being the new girl."

Kono nods as if she understands, but the truth is, she doesn't understand that feeling because she never was the "new girl" at 5-0; she's one of the originals. Her camaraderie with Chin was a given, but even with Steve and Danny who were strangers to her, her relationship with them fell into place right from their first meeting. From the introductions on the beach, they got right to work with brainstorming her immigrant story to convince Sang Min and break the human trafficking ring. Right from then, they'd seen her strengths, and though she knew they hovered in the van and had been worried about her "street skills," as Steve calls them, she kept calm when the situation turned on her and they were impressed. By the end of the day when they were sitting around having drinks and thinking of possible team names (well, that was mostly the guys letting her amuse herself), she already felt comfortable around them even as the only female and the rookie of the group.

Over time on the team, that feeling only grew. She'd always looked up to and respected Chin's influence and skills when it came to police work so being paired as his partner and learning from him was a dream opportunity. Danny took her under his wing when it came to giving her insights into body language clues and sharing stories from his street days in Jersey. Bonding with him and Grace was easy. True, she still couldn't get him in the water, but she at least got him to spend some more time at the beach with her and convince him to let Grace have lessons. It wasn't hard to like the guy when he wore his heart on his sleeve and showed how much he cared.

And even with Steve... though she often felt intimidated by his superior skills in all areas of expertise, he never made her feel inferior but took the chance to encourage and mentor her. For goodness sake, he'd given her his back-up weapon at her impromptu graduation the boys had thrown for her. When they were out on a case together, he took the time to help with her fight skills and ask about her workouts and training. She was eager to learn and he was eager to dispense advice so she looked forward to when they worked together. Even with her being the "greenest" member on the team, she never she was coddled. They looked after her, sure, but they let her take the lead and join them even on the toughest of missions. She's felt involved no matter the danger level, and she's felt safe knowing they've had her back.

That was why it had felt so lonely knowing two out of the three men she trusted had forgotten her. Danny had apologized, but Steve... Steve continued to watch her as if the words were failing him but maybe he could confess his sins and repent simply by using his eyes.

"Well, I have to pick up a fax so I'll see you later," Lori says, shaking Kono from her musings. "You'll be fine. From what I've heard, you're a great cop so give it some time to come back to you."

"Hey, Lori." Kono calls to her as they both leave the restroom and Lori heads for her office. "Thanks," she says sincerely. She may not have been the new girl but she can understand getting thrown in a new situation, and she understands coming back home and having it _feel_ new because you're the one who grew up while away. She tells herself to give Lori a chance; she's here to do her job same as they all are.

Kono takes a deep breath then walks back to the interrogation room, shoulders back and ready to face the suspect despite the memory of her own interrogation. She's worked too hard to fall apart now and she's not going to let this undercover job ruin her future at 5-0. She can do this and she's going to prove it to Steve and the team and Fryer, and most importantly, to herself.

She's at the door of the interrogation room when her phone rings. Steve looks surprised to see her again but gestures for her to take the call. It's Danny and she hopes that he and Chin have found something about the missing girl. Thankfully, he has good news.

"Kono, listen up. We got a tip on the help line from a lady who said she saw the little girl being led into an apartment on her floor with some guy. Chin connected the building to one of this Chris guy's cousins so we're going to get her now and take her to HPD.

"Oh, that's so good to hear," Kono sighs in relief. "Great work, guys. Be sure to call Social Services and have one of them meet you at the station."

"Yeah, I called already. Just glad we found her before they made plans to move her," Danny says, his voice thankful and tired and she knows he's thinking of Grace. "Tell Steve not to make a deal with this scumbag cause the neighbor said he'll testify to seeing him skulk around the house from the night he was on the security footage. We finally got him."

"Awesome. I'll tell him."

"Oh, and Chin's saying he's e-mailing you stuff from his phone now for you to print," Danny adds.

"Got it," she tells him before hanging up.

She takes a deep breath, gaining confidence at the news and enters the interrogation room. Both men turn expectantly to look to her, and she focuses on Chris in the chair. She's been in that chair, yes, but unlike her, this guy was _guilty_. This guy was not in a situation that was in over his head or helping people he cared about. He killed someone, and he took a mother away from that little girl. He was guilty, she had not been, and that makes all the difference.

Maybe what Lori said was right, to use that feeling as a strength and not allow it to make her shudder with fear at being in the room where they broke the guilty, where secrets and confessions came spilling out. She was the one asking the questions, making the deals, or in this case, not making one, and this was her job. She was going to continue to be damn good at it.

"It's over. We found her. No deal."

Steve looks up at the news and gives her a smile. "Great. Let's go."

"Wait, wait, I can tell you where she is!" Chris screams, frantic as they head toward the door, his opportunity for leverage slipping away in front of him.

Kono turns to him, feeling powerful and confident; it's just a small room with bad decor, that's all. "It's over. You lost your chance to bargain the minute you killed her and now a little girl has to live the rest of her life without her mom. No deal," she emphasizes, her voice echoing against the walls. It's not scary, it's the truth and she's the one who spoke it aloud.

She steps out into the hallway, hearing the echo of the door slamming behind her even as the man argues for them to come back, to listen to him. She takes a breath of satisfaction at finally closing the case, and begins walking to the console room, refreshing her phone for Chin's incoming e-mails.

"Hey," Steve calls, a few steps behind her, touching her shoulder for her to slow down. She doesn't realize she's doing it, but she moves her arm out of his reach, angling her body away from his as he comes to stand at her side.

"I... Sorry," he says, seeing her body language. There's an awkward silence as they stop in the hall, his hands in the air in apology as she forces herself to look at him. He looks confused, and a little taken aback at her uncomfortableness around him, but she forces herself to remain calm and keep eye contact.

"No, it's fine," she lies. "What's up?"

Steve clears his throat, trying to cover up the tension, to ignore the ringing of it in the empty hall. She crosses her arms across her chest and waits for him to continue. "Uh, what'd Danny say?"

"Right. Sorry." The case. Of course. "They found the little girl being held in some apartment with the guy's cousin thanks to a tip on the HPD phone line. And the neighbor said he'll testify placing him at the house on the night of the shooting."

"Great." Steve's voice sounds hollow as it echoes in the hallway. "That's really good news to hear."

"Yeah, it is."

They stand there for another moment, unsure of what to say, then Steve clears his throat again, his hand gesturing back toward the row of interrogation rooms they'd come from.

"You doing okay? I mean, you good with being back?"

Their eyes lock and she knows what he's referring to - the interrogation. The emotion and the anger and the fear and her sitting in a chair and him yelling down at her and _What happened to you, Kono?_ echoing in her ears and bouncing off the walls of that tiny room. She remembers.

She nods, maintaining eye contact, showing no weakness. "I'm good, Boss. I have paperwork to start on."

She turns away from him and heads to the open lobby, a vivid change in atmosphere with its large windows and bright lighting. It cheers her up considerably.

Steve gives her space and doesn't follow behind her, but his guilt-ridden eyes track her every move the rest of the afternoon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Hope everyone's safe from the storm if you're on the East Coast.

* * *

She's getting ready leave for her last physical therapy appointment when Danny pokes his head into her office, Steve right behind him. She looks up, her bag in one hand, paperwork in the other.

"Hey, we were gonna see about the warrant for the condo then grab some lunch. Wanna come?"

"Can't, Danny, I have physical therapy." She checks her pockets frantically, then spies her phone under some paperwork on her desk. She grabs it, stuffs it in her pocket, and walks past them out of the office as they follow behind her.

"Oh, right, my bad. How are the appointments going?"

"Good, they're fine." In her rush, she forgets about her injury and puts her messenger bag on her right shoulder instead of her left, and lets out a little squeak as the strap hits a sore muscle in her upper arm.

"You okay?" Danny asks, hovering at her side. Steve remains silent but he moves a step closer to her in concern, his eyes tracing over her, up and down, as if searching for visible signs of injury. She moves the bag to her other shoulder and tosses him an annoyed look. He takes a step back. Danny misses the exchange.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just running late and a little sore." She ignores Steve and pushes the folder into Danny's hands. "Here's the paperwork, I filled it out. Just stamp it before you leave."

"Awesome, thanks." He waves as she heads for the door. "Good luck!"

"Danny? If you wanna pick up those surfing lessons again, let me know," she says, turning at the doorway and looking back at him.

With the mess of the summer, they'd never gotten around to scheduling another day on the beach to get Danny back on a surfboard. But this is her last appointment and she's anxious to dive into the water and enjoy a long surf herself. Might as well make some beach plans with a friend to celebrate.

"Yeah?" He smiles.

"Yeah." She grins back.

"Okay," Danny says, "I'd love to. Well, I mean, I wouldn't love to, I hate the beach, but sure, back to the board. Gracie will be excited. _Mahalo,_" he adds and she smiles at his use of Hawaiian to express his heartfelt thanks. "Maybe I'll actually get into the water this year."

Kono laughs. "Maybe. Don't get your hopes up though," she says with a wink. "See ya guys." She makes it out the door before he can yell something back.

She's halfway through her appointment when she realizes Steve didn't say a word the entire time.

* * *

Kono has one final doctor's appointment after her arm finally feels back to normal instead of the on and off pins and needles sensation after being shot. Kono considers herself strong, but _damn,_ getting shot at hurts, even if it's just a graze. She'll have to remember to avoid it when she can. But she gets the all clear from her doctor, and finally feels like her arm's useful again instead of her carrying around sore, dead weight.

She knocks on Steve's door when she gets in that morning. He looks up from his desk as she gives him the doctor's report.

"What's this?"

"Doctor's report saying I'm cleared," she says with a grin. It's a relief to know she can finally get in the field again, strap on her gun, and kick ass with the rest of the team. She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel the adrenaline already pumping. It's been a little depressing to see the others go out together and leave her behind to do the research and computer work. She just wants to shoot at something, is that too much to ask for?

He reads the report and then looks at her, gives her the once over with his eyes and she forces herself not to squirm under his gaze. "How's the arm?"

"It's fine. Was just a scratch."

"Uh huh. Lost a lot of blood for just a scratch," he reminds her. Kono refrains from rolling her eyes; she's heard this comment from Chin multiple times.

"It's fine."

"And how are the other sessions going?"

Kono gives him a questioning look.

"The therapy appointments at HPD. How are those going?" Steve clarifies.

Kono stares. She hasn't really thought about the therapy much. She's been going, been answering the questions, been doing the surveys the doctor's given, then goes home and doesn't think about it. She doesn't need to spill her soul or go over the last two months or start keeping a dream journal. She wants to move past it. Kono knows to cooperate with the doctor, say what needs to be said, and she should get the all clear that she hasn't turned into a crazy sociopath while undercover. The nightmares are mostly gone, she's fine with being in interrogation, she's happy to be back at work. She considers herself cured.

"Fine," she answers.

"Really? You talking about it with the shrink?" Steve questions further.

"Yes," she says quickly. He raises his eyebrow at her. "_Yes,_" she repeats with more emphasis, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice and failing. This is not how she expected this conversation to go. She expected congrats and a high five, then back to the case and eagerly waiting for the opportunity to vest up and break down some doors.

Steve stares at her for a moment then comes around his desk to stand next to her. "Look, Kono, I think we should wait until we get your psych eval back before you're out in the field."

That is definitely not what Kono expected. In her mind, the only thing holding her back from field work was the gunshot wound which she's now physically cleared for. There's nothing wrong with her head. Doesn't Steve know that?

"What?! Why?" she exclaims.

"It's just... after an undercover op, cops can have a lot of stress with returning to the field. I wanna be sure that you're all good before putting you back out there," he explains.

Kono stares. "Stress? Boss, my arm is fine. I'm not stressed. You think I went crazy undercover or something?" The question slips out of her in a tone of accusation and Steve stares in horror as if he's the one who said something wrong.

"What?! No, Kono, that's not it." He takes a deep breath, then tries to explain again. "Fryer and I think that you should just be all cleared-"

"_Fryer?_ What does he have to do with this? Have you talked to him about me?"

"Well, yeah, I wanted to know about the assignment. And he thinks it's be good for you to finish the sessions and get cleared before back on field duty. You know, follow procedure."

"And since when do _you_ follow procedure?" Kono questions, the anger and frustration she's kept at bay starting to slip into her words as she paces in front of Steve's desk.

"Kono, you are looking at this all wrong," Steve says patiently, but it only comes off as patronizing to her. "I'm trying to protect you-"

Kono scoffs at that, a sound of disbelief and resentment coming out of her that sounds so bitter she doesn't realize she's made the noise. Steve goes silent immediately. Kono remains stubbornly quiet, refusing to speak first, so he begins again.

"I just want to make sure you're completely fine before back in the field." He's speaking slowly as she knows he does when he feels like the person he's talking to just doesn't _get_ it. It's how he and Danny communicate most of the time.

Kono forces herself to take a breath and remain calm. She has to try and be clearheaded and shove away the emotions if she's going to make Steve understand how important this is to her. She needs to get back to work, she needs to start feeling like a cop again. Like a _good_ cop, like one of the good guys. And she needs Steve's help to give her that identity back because it's like she's losing herself without it.

"I need to get out in the field, okay? I need to be out there with you guys and feel like I'm doing the right thing. _Please,_" she utters. The last word slips through her lips before she can take it back, but it's the truth. She is pleading with him to let her have this back, let her regain control of her life and her sense of purpose. Steve is the one that holds that power right now. She needs him to give her that purpose and trust her as a cop, like when he had given her his back-up weapon a year ago, letting her feel like she was truly one of the team.

They stare at each other and Kono refuses to soften her face, to soften her heart toward him. She's angry at him, yes, and she has a right to be. It's not his fault she lost his badge, it's no one's fault. She did what she did for Chin, and truth is, she'd do it again because she did what she did for _Chin._ But she had at least expected Steve to support her. They may have built this _ohana _just recently, they may have been complete strangers a year and a half ago, but they group they fell into became a complete unit, and his presence in her life was something she had gotten used to. When she needed him most, he wasn't there.

"I get that, Kono, I do," Steve notes, his voice soft and low, as if he's talking to a scared child who might run from the room any second. "I just... I want to be sure you're okay. Are you okay?" He asks, placing emphasis on each word, stepping closer to her and bowing his head so he can look right into her eyes.

"I'm fine. I just really want to get back to work, okay?" Kono doesn't allow weakness in her voice as she makes her request clear. She needs to get back to work and remember why she picked this path in the first place; when her knee failed on her, she had no choice but to start over and she's going to do the same now. Whatever issues she has with Steve, whatever anger left over, that can be put aside because she needs to get back to her purpose and her reason for waking up every day - coming to work and keeping this island, her _home,_ safe.

Steve searches her face, clearly hesitant, but she remains stoic, not giving anything away. He has no choice but to nod and steps away from her, not realizing how close he'd gotten. "Okay. If you need anything-"

"You'll be the first to know," Kono finishes for him. It came out kind of sarcastically for her even though she meant it seriously. Didn't she? Who knows? Her emotions regarding him, as her boss, as her friend, as something more, are all over the place and the last thing she wants right now is to take the time to decode them.

She's out of his office before he can question her comment.

She's not giving him the chance to change his mind.

* * *

"Dammit, I wanted pizza," Danny says with a groan.

"Maybe next time, Danno. Sushi it is," Steve says, fingers tapping on the table while they wait for their food to arrive.

"We'd already decided pizza," Danny whines. "Until Kono had to use her _I got shot in the line of duty_ excuse and we had to drive down here."

"Well, I did get shot, brah," Kono reminds him, trying to keep from smiling. Why not use the excuse as long as she can? It's her first gunshot wound!

"You're the one who kept telling us it was just a graze!" he exclaims, and Chin and Lori laugh from their seats at the table. "Never thought you'd be one to use the pity card, Kono." He shakes his head at her in mock disappointment.

"Okay, fine, sorry," Kono says with a smile. "Pizza next time, promise."

"You better not use the 'I got shot' excuse again," he warns. "There's gotta be some sort of expiration date on that."

"I won't! I won't," she assures him. Danny gives her a playful glare then turns to talk to Chin. "No promises though," Kono whispers to Lori next to her. She and the other woman share a laugh as the boys glance at them in suspicion.

It's nights like these with the team that Kono missed most. Even though they see each other at work all day, it's when they would go out for a late dinner after a long day, or have a barbeque at "Uncle Steve's" house when Danny has Grace for the weekend, or sit around HQ watching old football games when they should be doing paperwork... those are the times that Kono can really appreciate the relationships they've cultivated in the past year. They work together, yes, but they're also _friends,_ and that's what she has missed the most. She won't lie, it took a little adjusting with Lori as the new girl, trying to find a new pace to the synchronized rhythm they have down, but Kono's taken a liking to her and Lori's eager to fit in. Why not play nice?

Plus, it's been nice having someone to look across the room at and roll eyes with whenever Danny and Steve start one of their bromance arguments in the squad room. She could always count on Chin for that but he's too busy texting Malia these days. Kono hasn't talked about it with him much and is trying to hold to herself to the, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" rule. Chin's invited Kono to dinner with them but she's not ready yet to slip back into the old pattern because she had also been hurt Malia had vanished from her life. But as long as Chin is happy, she's happy for him.

They're halfway through their meal and Danny's story of crazy shit that goes down in Jersey on Halloween when Kono hears her name called.

"Kono? Is that you?"

She looks up to see Ben. Ben Bass, her old surfing friend and well... whatever else they had going on at the time. She won't lie, he looks good, like a blond hair blue-eyed Prince Charming that the girls swoon over, and that grin of his takes her back to bonfires on the beach from her glory days. He's standing next to their table with a takeout container in his hand as he stares at her.

"Ben, oh, hi." She stumbles over the words in her surprise and attempts to swallow her mouthful of food at the same time. They'd hung out a few times last year after the case, but then he'd left on a trip to the mainland and they never re-connected after. She had gotten a few texts from him when the news broke about her losing her badge. She didn't know how to answer back so she hadn't replied, thinking she wouldn't run into him again. I mean, it is a big island. Sort of.

Oops.

"How are you? Everything with HPD and all..." His eyes are anxious and concerned as they look at her. "The news said you got shot?"

"It was just a graze, no biggie," she says and can hear Danny stifle a snort from the other side of the table. She resists tossing a glare his way.

"That's good." There's an awkward pause where Kono and Ben realize that everybody at her table is listening to their conversation. Ben's gaze slides to Chin sitting next to her and he smiles at her cousin in recognition. Chin nods and gives a wave back in greeting. "So you're back at work again?"

"Yeah, back at 5-0," Kono says. "You remember the guys." She gestures at Chin, Steve, and Danny, all of whom have stopped eating to watch the conversation taking place before them very intently.

"Hey, Ben," Danny says.

"Hey." Steve nods at him.

"And this is Lori Weston, she's new on the team." Kono points to Lori next to her. Lori smiles at the introduction, her ever curious blue eyes pinging back and forth between Kono and Ben, her profiler's mind probably going a mile a minute.

Great, Kono thinks to herself. Just what she needs, another shrink in her life. They need a more private venue. She gets up from her seat to usher Ben outside where they can finish the conversation without prying ears, but he starts talking again before she can make the request.

"I texted you a few times, Kono, I don't know if you got them. I just... I couldn't believe the news when they were making it seem like you were a dirty cop. I knew it couldn't be true," Ben professes fiercely, his voice so confident in his belief that she stares at him in gratitude.

"I... Thanks, Ben. Yeah, I got them, I just didn't..." She shifts uncomfortably in front of him, very aware of the audience they have watching. "Um... Let's talk outside."

She avoids looking back at the table as Ben tosses a general goodbye in the team's direction then follows her out of the restaurant, into the cool night air. The stars are shining bright and Kono takes a deep breath and allows the wind to play with her hair before she turns to face Ben.

"Thanks for writing. I'm sorry I didn't get in touch... It was a tough situation," she explains, hoping the excuse doesn't sound as lame to him as it does to her own ears.

But Ben, sweet, understanding Ben, nods at her. "It's fine, I get it. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You okay?"

She can't stop the tears that rush into her eyes and blinks to stop them from spilling. The concern and care in her voice floors her, the kind of honesty and emotion she missed while undercover and pretending to be someone else. In that world, she learned quickly that you had to doubt everyone to survive. But in her real world, these are the people who wear their hearts on their sleeve, especially when it comes to how they feel about her. They _care._ "I... I'm fine, Ben, thanks."

"Good." Ben looks nervous now as he stares at her, unsure of what to do next. "Glad to hear it. Um, can I give you a hug anyway?" He smiles widely at her, all charm, and she laughs at the familiar tug of flirtation between them.

"Yeah, you can." She laughs again as he puts his arms around her to give her a reassuring squeeze, as if to confirm she's really there, solid and in one piece in his arms. She's content to stay this way, as if she could return to a past that was familiar to her, a past where he was there. "Thanks, Ben."

"Life of a cop, I'm sure you're used to it," he says as she looks up at him. "Your parents must have been freaked."

Kono laughs again. "Oh yeah, I had some serious explaining to do."

They stand for a minute in companionable silence, his hands still looped around her waist, her head on his shoulder. Kono looks through the restaurant window back at the team to find they've returned to their meal and conversation... except Steve who locks eyes with her through the glass. He looks curious as he watches, as if trying to read what's being said by staring at her in concentration. He ducks his head at being caught and Kono turns back to Ben, wondering what to say next.

"I actually gotta run," Ben says before she can come up with something. "Roommate's waiting for the food." He gestures to the takeout. "But can we meet up again? Catch some waves?"

"Of course. I'd love that." Kono nods at him as he starts walking to the restaurant parking lot.

"Good. I'll text you. Answer this time," he teases, blue eyes twinkling under the street light.

"Will do. See ya, Ben, thanks for saying hi." She smiles widely, genuine in her thanks. It was nice to see him again and be reminded of her life before going undercover, before even 5-0. It used to be her and surfing, her and the sun and the waves, and her biggest worry was getting up early after a night of partying to hit the beach before the tourists arrived. How things change.

Kono walks back into the restaurant, the bright lights feeling intrusive and harsh after being in the dark a few minutes. The team's chattering away over their drinks as she slides back into her seat and resumes her meal. It looks like Danny already finished his Jersey Halloween story, she'll have to ask him to finish it for her later, complete with hand gestures and all.

"So, who was that?" Lori asks curiously when there's a beat in the conversation.

"Old surfing friend," Kono answers in between bites.

Lori scoffs at her good-naturedly with a smile. "That is not how old friends look at each other. There's definitely a story there."

"She means old boyfriend. Old fiancé," Chin adds.

"Chin," Kono warns, turning to look at him.

There's silence at the table while everyone registers the news. Say what you will on how nosy they are about each other's lives, relationships have always been off-limits. Whether it's Steve's on and off thing with Catherine, Chin back with Malia, Danny's near-reunion with Rachel in the spring, or whoever Kono's seeing for however long she's seeing him, relationships stay private until they're willing to share with the group. Well, besides teasing Danny about the museum lady because he's always a special exception.

"Kono, you were engaged?" Danny questions. "I had no idea. Are you a runaway bride?" He seems to glance at Lori for a millisecond, but Kono's sure she imagined it because when she blinks, his eyes are still on her, waiting for her an explanation.

So are Steve's. He looks at her curiously, his forehead is furrowed at the information, his dark eyes curious. Lori peers at her, too, interest on her face, waiting for the story.

Oh no, lady, you're cool, but there's _no_ way you're profiling me, Kono thinks. As interesting as Lori's insights into people are, last thing she needs is for her deep, dark secrets and insecurities to come out over dinner at her favorite sushi grill.

"I am not a runaway bride," Kono informs them. "I was never even engaged."

"Yeah, cause you found the ring and freaked," Chin says to the group.

"Chin!" She turns to him in annoyance. "What the hell? Someone's a Chatty Cathy tonight. You drunk or something?"

Chin chuckles then puts his hands up in apology. "Sorry, cuz. You're right. I'll stop spilling your secrets."

"Thank you," Kono emphasizes the phrase more than necessary as she turns back to the rest of them, making it clear that she was done taking questions on the subject. "Danny, can you finish that story about that haunted house raid, please? How'd you find the teenagers?"

He finishes the story (Chin and Steve roll their eyes a lot so Kono's sure he's exaggerating during his second telling), they finish the meal, and on the drive home, Kono finally feels like things are settling back to normal.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much to those of you who take the time to comment. You're the reason why I decided to re-post this story in the first place, so I really appreciate it. :) This is an important chapter that I'm sure you've all been waiting for so enjoy! Don't worry though, we're nowhere near the end. There's plenty more chapters left.

* * *

"I knew it, I knew it, you two-timing bitch! _I knew it!_"

The words are out of the man's mouth and it takes Kono a second to place his face from her memory. The moment of pause is her weakness, and the next thing she sees is a fist coming at her. She feels it hit her face but manages to turn so the impact is on the side of her nose, not full-on. Blood trickles out of her nose anyway. There's no time to wipe it away now.

One second is all Kono allows herself, and even that was a mistake.

Next second, instinct and training kick in. The resolve to fight takes over, along with being seriously _pissed off_ about the bloody nose. She's always hated getting them, so disgusting. She'd take a huge black and blue bruise over blood any day, thank you.

As the man turns to run, Kono grabs his arm to pull him back and punches him in the face. He's strong though (or stupid, if you think about it) and won't give in without a fight He digs his hands into the flesh of her wrists to twist her but she shifts her upper body and uses her legs to get a good kick at him, and he flops on his stomach, groaning in pain. She's hovering over him, fists ready to lob another punch if necessary but the guy seems to realize he's caught and stops struggling.

"Freeze, right now!" Danny appears from around the corner, his gun aimed. The drug dealer stills completely, not a muscle twitching as he faces the weapon.

Kono pulls out her cuffs and drags the man up, both of them breathing heavily after the tussle.

"What the hell was that?" Danny questions once she has the guy cuffed and sitting against the wall. He peers at her face, or tries to. She has her head tilted back, waiting for the bleeding to stop. "Did he see you coming? I was two seconds behind you clearing the other room."

"Uh, yeah, he recognized me," Kono answers, her voice muffled from holding a tissue to her nose to stop any more blood.

"What? From where?"

Before she can answer, Chin and Steve come around the corner, guns drawn. They notice Kono and Danny at the wall and hurry over, relaxing their weapons and stance at seeing the dealer cuffed and against the wall.

"Whoa, what happened? You okay?" Chin asks and she gives him a small smile.

"Fine, just a nosebleed. Gimme a minute."

"You said he recognized you? From where?" Danny continues questioning.

Kono has no choice but to answer. "Undercover. Delano had me get drugs and he was the seller." Danny continues to stare at her so she adds, "You know, to prove I was dirty."

Danny gives her a curt nod and she knows the further explanation had not been needed - he understood the first time. "Who'd you go in with? This far from town? Fryer was on you the whole time?"

"No. I went in with Delano alone. Fryer called me at home a few days later to get info on the deal."

"What if you didn't answer?" Chin asks, his tone terse at the mention of the men's names. Kono still remembers his anger in the interrogation room, the fierce wave of it as he lashed out at her, and at Fryer, as he discovered the secret behind her operation. She'd rarely seen him so worked up but of course he had been when it came to her safety.

"Well, I guess that would mean I was dead or something."

There's a moment of silence where the guys exchange barely sustained looks of horror with each other, then look back at her.

"Okay, I was just kidding, guys, chill out," she adds, cracking her sore neck from the fight, and using the crumpled tissue to dab at the blood she feels drying around her nose. _Gross._

"Yeah, except I don't think you were," Danny states darkly, chilled at the thought of how casually Kono was treated in the undercover deal. "That son of a bitch. You know, we did plenty of undercover street work in Jersey but I would never, _ever_ let someone go in without some protection to ensure their safety. I can't believe he got away with half the shit he did, and that-"

"Stop, okay?" Kono snaps. Danny abruptly stops talking mid-sentence and she feels a sting of shame for snapping at him when he was only expressing concern. "Sorry, Danny, I just really don't wanna talk about it now, please?"

Danny nods in understanding and gives her a lookover. She tries to ignore the look in their eyes as she turns to Steve, waiting for orders on what to do next now that they raided the house. His arms are crossed as he stares at her, some mixture of guilt and anger on his face that she recognizes as familiar from whenever he looks at her. It's annoying and unnecessary and Kono's sick of the awkwardness between them. But she doesn't feel like bridging that gap right now. And she sure as hell doesn't feel like bridging it alone.

"Can we take this guy back to headquarters now?" she asks Steve as he continues to stare. It's bad enough that she's sure there's blood smeared all over her face. Great.

"Yeah, yeah. Danno, Chin, you two take this guy," Steve orders, nodding back toward the perp sitting against the wall. "Kono, you're with me."

"Boss, I can go with Chin," Kono begins, knowing there's a reason Steve is changing their usual driving arrangements for the ride back. Last thing she wants is a lecture. Her head's spinning.

Sensing her argument, Danny gives her a smile as he drags the suspect to standing position, a little harder than necessary she notes. Some of Steve is rubbing off on him, though he'll never admit it. "I don't blame you, Kono, the way that maniac drives, your nose'll just start bleeding again."

"Ha ha, very funny. Let's go, Kono," Steve orders as they follow behind Danny, Chin, and the suspect to his truck. Chin gives Kono a nod as he and Danny get in the Camaro. Kono sighs and has no choice but to slide into the passenger seat.

It's quiet in the front seat and Kono tries not to fidget. Steve keeps throwing glances at her, but she stares straight ahead, not meeting his eyes. He opens the middle console between the seats and pulls out a pack of wipes and an instant ice-pack.

"Here. Looks like you got elbowed near the eye too."

Kono pulls down the vanity mirror and grimaces. "Shit, yeah." She carefully wipes the traces of blood from around her nose and settles back with the icepack near her eye. It helps with the stinging she'd felt.

"Thought you said you were ready to be back in the field," Steve comments too-casually and she bristles immediately.

"I am!" Kono exclaims. Steve raises an eyebrow at her and she hurries to continue. "Come on, Boss, I'm fine. That was not my fault. I mean, he recognized me that's why he had the advantage the first second. I had him down right after, ask Danny!"

"Sometimes a split second's advantage is all it takes," Steve chided. "You know that. We have to be constantly alert when we go into these situations."

"Boss, I know that. I am." Kono's starting to realize she sounds like an eight-year-old whining that she did clean her room, she did, _she did,_ can she _please_ go out and play now?

"Okay. And I believe you. But you need to train to make sure your reflexes are as quick as they were, if not better. You're done with therapy now so that's the next step."

"I have been going to the gym," Kono insists.

"Its not about working alone, you need a sparring partner," Steve clarifies. "From now on, you start training me with me."

"What? You don't have to do that. That is completely not necessary. Really," she adds in case he didn't understand her first two dismissals of his offer.

"I know I don't have to, I want to," he assures her.

"Really, it's fine."

"Scared of training with your boss?" he asks her, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

Kono gives a short laugh. "Seriously? You're gonna dare me into it? I'm not Grace and you're not Danny trying to trick me into eating my vegetables. That's not gonna work on me."

"I'm just saying, I could help," Steve says, throwing in a smile with his offer. For a second, Kono is tempted to accept, almost like receiving a peace gift during a truce. Sure, it'd be fun. They'd work out, spend some time with him, maybe get him to teach her a few of his super SEAL moves... why not?

But the feelings of bitterness she has buried toward Steve creep up again; she obviously didn't bury them very deep. She's angry and hurt and sometimes she thinks she can get over it and move on and everything is back to normal, and other times she just wants to scream and yell and throw things at him. Her mood switches a dozen times a day, and a dozen more if she happens to see Steve that day. Right now, she doesn't know which choice to go with and she knows avoidance isn't the best tactic, but it's all she has the energy to do.

"I appreciate that, Boss, but I'm fine, thanks." She doesn't realize how curt she sounds until she hears herself saying it.

The silence is tense as Steve pulls into his parking spot at headquarters. He turns off the engine and looks to her, but Kono ignores him and stubbornly looks out the window instead, waiting for Danny's car to enter the lot.

"Kono..." His voice is low, as if he's worried someone will overhear them even in the privacy of his truck. "Can we please talk? About everything that happened, I want to say-"

"Just stop, please," Kono snaps. She knows the mature thing is to wait and listen to Steve's apology, to give him a chance to explain, to accept his forgiveness and move on... but you know what? Screw that. She's tired of being mature. She got punched in the nose and all she wants to do is whine about it.

Her decision takes Steve by surprise too, because he looks stunned at being interrupted. He probably expected calm and cool Kono to welcome him with open arms. Not the reception he hoped for.

So, he tries again.

"I was trying to protect you," he assures her, and she can still feel his eyes on her face even as she stares out at the street in fake concentration.

"Yeah, I remember. You pulled a gun on me, had Lori cuff me, and threw me into interrogation. Thanks for that." The disgust is evident in her voice.

There's a second of heavy silence when Kono realizes the words she said cannot be taken back. But it's how she's been feeling. Every time she looks at Steve, she can't help but feel angry at him. He abandoned her. He had nothing to say, he gave no support, he didn't give a damn where she was or who she was with or what she was doing. She thinks of that memory from last year, the men on the team putting together an impromptu police academy graduation for her, and the words he'd said.

_I'm sorry you were put in danger today. We care for each other like a family. Please know we'll always do everything we can to protect you._

Well, he had failed spectacularly. And Kono's bitterness seems to rise every time she tries to listen to his apology.

"Kono, I am so sorry." Every word comes out heavy from his mouth, as if it's paining him to think about the events that had occurred. "I should have-"

"Let's not do this, okay?" Kono says, shutting him down mid-sentence.

Steve's quiet, silenced again by her comment, but as he opens his mouth to continue the conversation, and she knows he will, this is Steve we're talking about, she's out of the car and walking to Danny and Chin who have just pulled up.

Chin watches her slam the truck door, a kind smile on his face as they head inside headquarters. ""How was the ride?"

Kono rolls her eyes at him. "What, you two were in on that? Way to be obvious."

"You have to talk to him sometime, Kono," Chin says, shaking his head at her stubbornness.

She ignores him and Steve for the rest of the day. When they close the case that night, Danny mentions going out for drinks to celebrate. Kono makes an excuse about plans and leaves while the rest of them argue over a place to go.

She can feel Steve's eyes on her as she makes a hasty exit, but she refuses to glance back.

* * *

It's early on a Sunday and Kono's at the beach, staring into the waves as though they're sending her a message that only she can read. It's how she's lived her whole life, mesmerized by the water, listening to it long enough to tell the difference between it's soft, calming lull and the potential of a great wave sneaking up on her, knowing the exact sound when to jump on her board, when to bend her knees, when to turn her body and fly with the ocean beneath her. There was no other place she felt more at home than the ocean and sometimes she wishes she could dive in and never come out.

Okay, that sounds depressing but she means it more in a _I wish I was a mermaid because the ocean feels like home_ way than _my life is a disaster and I want to drown myself _kind of way.

It sounded more poetic in her head.

It's a quiet morning, still early, and she's beaten most of the tourists who swarm the beach, their too-new bikinis and cheery enthusiasm easy to spot. She catches some great waves, and when she's finally beat, exhausted, and soaking wet, she changes into a dry tank top and plops down on the sand with her morning snack and a view of the water. She loves treating herself to fresh fruit in the mornings. Strawberries and oranges, the hues of the Hawaiian sky in front of her, watching a father try and coax his little girl in a purple tutu swimsuit to step into the ocean... there was no better place to be than home.

She's pedaling back when she sees him sitting on her doorstep, hands in his pockets, feet tapping nervously as he watches her approach. She allows herself one second of cruelty and thinks about biking right by him, but she finds herself parking her bike next to her car and walking up to him, facing him instead of running away.

Steve stares at her, eyes wide, morning scruff still present. His hair's ruffled like he's been running his hands through it and he looks at her like he's lost and has no other place to go and somehow he wound up at her front door. She tries to harden her heart but she feels a pang of pity for him. Truth is, her heart always had a weak spot where he was concerned.

"Morning."

"Hey, Boss." She takes a seat next to him on the step and for a minute, they stare into the street, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

She hears him sigh and Kono realizes with a jolt that she's tired too. She's tired of being angry and being resentful, at harboring these feelings toward him. It's like she's carrying around all this extra weight and she finally realizes he must be feeling the same way. The only way to get rid of the baggage is to allow it to finally drop, to finally let go, or else there's no point in thinking things will get better one day.

Before she can think of what to say, of how to make this easier, like when you slowly peel at the corners of a band-aid instead of ripping it off, Steve begins to speak. She was always more of a band-aid peeler, she should have known he'd yank it off in one go.

"I'm sorry, Kono. I'm sorry about how it all went down." His voice comes out low and tortured, as if he hasn't used it in a while, as if he's saved it for the sole purpose of this conversation. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I shoulda been there. You're part of our team and I should have been there for you and supported you and I am so sorry I wasn't in touch and that I didn't ask and that I didn't call."

He chances a glance at Kono's face and she turns to look at him, keeping her gaze steady on his. He looks ragged and desperate, his eyes tumultuous with waves of guilt. Kono listens and finally nods, not trusting herself to say anything just yet.

"I just... I thought you wanted space and I let myself think that it was okay to give you time. But that was just an excuse. Cause it wasn't fair. I know we did what we did for Chin, and I know we'd all do it again without a doubt…" He pauses for a second and Kono nods emphatically in agreement. "But you went down for it. And I was in prison, and then the Governor was pissed and we got sent Lori to watch over us, and I just didn't know what to do. It was all fucked up and you were the one who got blamed for it and I thought you wanted space and... I just... I didn't know what to do, Kono."

Kono continues to stare at him, watches the line of his jaw as he swallows. His eyes scan over her face, back and forth, back and forth, as if hoping to find her forgiveness written there, as if waiting for it to appear and clear his conscience, declaring him a free man.

"I know. I know there was a lot going on. I just... I needed you guys. And you weren't there. And... that... that really sucked." A bitter laugh escapes her before she can contain it.

Steve nods again, head bowed in shame as he stares at his hands.

"I just... I couldn't believe you thought I did it. Really? That's what you thought of me?" Kono can't help it, the words are spilling out of her before she can stop herself, but she has to get them out because it's like they're screaming inside of her, knocking against her skin and banging to be let out and be spoken. She sees Steve open his mouth to say something, but she continues without pausing. This is what had broken her heart all along and she can't contain the words any longer.

"I mean, I didn't think for a second that you killed the Governor," she says fiercely. "Not even when they found the gun in your hand, Boss, I didn't. _I didn't._ And you just... you did. Is that what you think of me?" Her voice has gotten high, and a little hysterical, but she can't help it because that's what has hurt the most about Steve being absent. A phone call would have helped, a visit would have been better, but his faith in her? That would have been the best thing of all.

Steve groans, as if hearing the words from her have caused him a physical ache, and when she looks to him, his head is bowed and he takes deep breaths, as if he has to breathe through the pain. She blinks furiously to stop tears from falling; her vision has become blurry without her realizing it. Steve turns to look at her, and Kono stares at him anxiously, waiting with bated breath for every word he may say.

"God, I'm sorry, Kono. I'm so fucking sorry. That's not what it was. I knew there had to be more to it, I knew you couldn't have turned dirty. But I didn't know how to help you. I didn't know how to get you out of it since I was already in deep shit for everything we'd done. No more immunity, remember?" He reaches out and grabs her hand without pausing, like he doesn't even know he's doing it. Kono stares at him, captivated by the power of the emotions that she sees flash across his face as he continues speaking. "I didn't know how to get you out of the mess cause I was part of the reason you were in it. I'm sorry if it looked that way. I'm sorry if it came out that way. I just... I'm so _damn_ sorry."

Kono nods, still unsure of what to say as they stare at each other, gazes solemn and the air heavy with confession and unspoken words. A car horn from down the street interrupts the silence and Steve clears his throat and looks away from her.

"Why did you do it, Kono? The whole undercover thing. You could have gotten your badge back another way, right?" He looks back at her, his eyes searching hers for an answer to his question. "You didn't have to make a deal with the devil or whatever."

Kono grins slightly at his phrase and their shared dislike of the IA Captain. "I just... I had to for 5-0. Chin finally got his job back after you gave him a chance, and Danny needs to be here for Grace. And you..." She trails off but he gives her an encouraging nod to continue. "You need 5-0 to find out the truth about your parents." She swallows, knowing how this will sound, but it's how she's thought about him and his quest for justice. "I know you're searching for answers. I couldn't let your chance to find them be taken away." Kono looks at him with all the emotion her heart holds, hoping he understands how much she's come to respect him and his struggle for the truth.

Steve opens his mouth once, twice, then swallows, overcome with emotion, unable to form words. Finally, he tries again, his hand squeezing hers, conveying what his silence had been trying to say. "You... you're amazing, Kono. You are," he says again when she rolls her eyes at his praise. "Thank you. Thank you."

She squeezes his fingers in return, tears forming at his solemn gratitude. That's all she wanted to hear. She didn't realize it until now but that's all she wanted to hear him say. _I'm sorry. Thank you._

"Well, we're family, right?" She gives him an easy smile.

"Yeah." He turns to stare back out into the street, unable to meet her eyes at hearing the word. "I'm really sorry I forgot that. I understand if... if you don't want things to go back to the way they were, or hell, if you even want to work with me, and if you don't, I get that-"

Kono takes a fraction of a second to think of that possibility but she can't even entertain the idea before panic hits her. She doesn't want that, she doesn't want that _at all._ She's not looking for a way out, but a way back in, a way to feel comfortable again with the people she'd come to see as family. She doesn't want to leave that or leave these people. She wants to stay.

"No, no," she interrupts Steve yet again in the duration of the conversation, and he stops talking mid-sentence. "Look, I'm a big girl, I knew what I was getting into with the undercover assignment. Maybe not how bad it was going to be, but I knew the risks and I did it for the team, and I did it for me. I did it for all of us. I just... I guess I just wanted you guys to notice that I was gone, or something," she adds feeling a little silly once it's spoken out loud.

"We did. I did." He touches her shoulder gently as her eyes get watery, and a tear slides down the curve of her cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't show it better."

"I... thank you. Thanks." Kono squeezes his hand in a gesture of thanks, in a gesture of forgiveness and friendship, and suddenly, her shoulders feel much lighter, like she's not carrying around all the anger she had been a mere an hour ago. It's a nice feeling, a relief she hasn't felt since the weeks undercover, and the weeks back on the job. There had been a restlessness within her and now it feels like she's finally arrived at a sense of calm, like when she's had a bad day and heads to the beach for a swim to feel better.

Steve seems to only now notice they have been holding hands for most of the conversation and quickly pulls his away. Kono ignores the sudden sense of loss and gives him a reassuring smile. "Sorry," he mutters, quickly clasping his hands together as if to resist reaching for hers again.

"It's okay. I don't think I've heard you talk that much in all the time I've known you," she teases with a grin, bumping into his shoulder playfully with her own to lighten the mood and make him feel comfortable again.

Steve grins shyly at her. "Yeah. Don't tell Danny."

Kono laughs outright this time. "He's rubbing off on you, Boss, you just won't admit it." Steve shakes his head in denial, but the smile won't leave his face. He looks happier than she's seen him in weeks and the desperation and guilt in his eyes whenever he looked at her is gone. His blue eyes seem to twinkle in the morning sunshine.

"Sorry for getting all, you know, girly." She rolls her eyes at herself, embarrassed about how she couldn't hide her breaking voice and the few tears that managed to slip out from the corner of her eye.

"Don't worry. I won't tell Danny either," Steve promises and they smile at each other as if they are the only two people in the world in on this secret conversation, which they really are. It's a nice feeling.

Steve stands, and turns to face Kono, still smiling, his hands outstretched. She takes them and gets to her feet, facing him and once again is reminded of just how tall he is. She's a tall girl herself and it's rare that she's made to feel inferior, but when she's with Steve, she's reminded of how physically strong he is, all muscle and brawn, tattoos peeking out from his sleeves, the dazzling speed of his reflexes as he takes chance after chance, putting his life on the line without a second thought. All attractive qualities to her, she won't lie, but she rarely takes the time to notice them on him.

"Wait, we don't have a case, do we?" she asks suspiciously.

"No, no," he says with a chuckle. "I decided to camp out on your doorstep all day if I had to."

"Aw, thanks." She laughs, feeling overjoyed at seeing his carefree smirk in return. It feels nice to not be so damn _angry._ Huh. Guess all those self-help books are right.

"Breakfast? It's on me," he proposes, getting his keys out and gesturing to his truck.

"Sure. Why not? Ooh, there's this waffle house two blocks down. They have the best strawberry toppings."

"You drive." He tosses her the keys and it's only her quick reflexes that have her catching them because it's such a surprise.

"Wow, now I really know you're sorry," she teases as she slides into the driver's side.

"Kono?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." She turns to look at his profile and his blue eyes are intense, his gaze locked on her. His voice is low and meaningful. "For listening to me. I know I screwed up, and you're giving me another chance. I promise I won't screw up again."

Kono is glad her hands are on the wheel cause she wouldn't know what to do with them if they weren't. She's too tempted to reach for his again. She always feels awkward with her hands during important conversations. Good thing Steve had been holding hers the whole time they'd been talking on the doorstep. That had been a nice feeling, she has to admit.

"I know you won't. I believe you." She gives him a soft smile and hopes he understands everything she can't say. _I know you're sorry. I forgive you. I trust you. We're getting past this. You mean a lot to me too._

Maybe he does hear the words she's not brave enough to say because he nods once more, his face clearing into a smile. "Do I still have to buy breakfast then? I know how much you eat after surfing in the mornings."

"Hey, I resent that! Good try, but you're not getting out of it that easily."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note:** This section is long but I hope you don't mind. The first scene got away from me when I was writing it... sometimes I don't notice how many words I've used until the end. Hope you're having a good week!

* * *

Kono's finishing her surfing lesson with Grace when Danny texts her to drop the girl off at Steve's house instead of his own. They chatter in the car about the lesson and Kono has to marvel at how adventurous the little girl is getting about the water. She'd been very hesitant the first few lessons and Kono worried about how much work it would take to coax her into getting comfortable in the ocean. But now, Grace is eager to get past the shallow end. Kono can hear Danny's nagging voice in her head, and she's a good enough teacher to know she has to keep the pace slow, but she's excited to explore Grace's potential. She's turning out to be a very promising student, and Kono loves teasing Danny about it.

She pulls up at Steve's house and Danny yells Grace's name from the backyard. Grace runs in the direction of his voice as Kono trails behind her to see the men at the grill.

"Hey, Gracie, how was the lesson?" Danny asks, giving Kono a smile and handing her a beer. She accepts it and smiles at Steve who's standing at the grill, the smell of barbeque in the air making her mouth water.

"It was good. Uncle Steve!" Grace launches herself into Steve's arms. He groans playfully as he settles her on his hip.

"Hey, Gracie. I had some steaks in the freezer so thought I'd invite you and your dad over for dinner. What do you say?" He grins down at the little girl with such open tenderness and Kono feels her heart skip a beat. Probably indigestion. Or drinking on an empty stomach. He's grilling one for her, too, right? Because it'd be downright cruel to make her leave after she's caught a sniff of what's cooking.

"What about Danno's cholesterol level?" Gracie questions. There's silence among the adults and Kono stifles a laugh at the panicked look on Danny's face at the chance of being denied dinner.

"Oh, you're right, Grace, I forgot about that," Steve says innocently, throwing a wink at Kono and giving Danny a sly glance.

He's going to have too much fun with this, Kono thinks as she tries to contain her laughter.

"Hey, that is not fair!" Danny protests. "My cholesterol is fine, Grace. Steve, are you kidding me? You're gonna have me help you grill and then gang up on me, you sneaky, selfish-"

Kono senses Danny getting ready for a long rant and decides to interrupt him before he gets a good start. Sure, he provides the comic relief, but she's hungry, okay? She can't help but exchange a grin with Steve though. That was a good one.

"Good point, Grace, but I don't think Danny's eaten any meat today so we should be good," she remarks, stepping up to play peacemaker since Chin's not here. How the little girl handles the two of them on her own, she has no idea. "You haven't eaten a burger today, have you, Danny?" She turns to Danny to question him, her face serious, and Danny plays along.

"No, ma'am, I have not."

"French fries?"

"Nope."

"Bacon?"

"Nope."

"Good to hear. I think we can let him have his steak for dinner then, right, Grace?"

They all wait in silence for Grace to make her decision. After a long moment during which Danny seems to hold his breath and Steve and Kono grin at each other silently, Grace finally nods.

"Okay. You can have steak with us, Danno," Grace announces to her father's relief.

"Oh, thank you, Your Highness," Danny says, giving her a kiss on the head as she slides down from Steve's hold. "Wash up, we're almost ready."

"Can we watch _Finding Nemo_ while we eat, please?"

"Do we have to?" Steve whispers.

"Shut it, you, it's a Williams family favorite," Danny says to him. "Yes, we can," he says louder to Grace who cheers and runs into the house.

"Do we have to watch that again? She watches it every time she's here," Steve argues, getting the steaks off the grill.

"Because she loves it. If you love a movie, you re-watch it. That's what you do with childhood movies. You watch them over and over again. That is what children do. Do you remember your childhood or did you automatically grow up loving _The Godfather?_ Be grateful it's not one of the Disney princess movies or Miley Cyrus, at least my girl has good taste."

"Who's Miley Cyrus?" Steve questions.

"Who's Miley Cyrus? Where do you live? Under a rock? I know you have a television, do you not watch the news? Are you not familiar with those teen pop stars who make more money than we ever will? How does this stuff escape you? You just-"

"Okay, boys," Kono interrupts, "I assume you meant for me to stay for dinner but because you lack manners, you forgot to actually issue the invite. So can I have a plate, please? I'm starving."

They turn to look at her as if they'd forgotten she was there. "Oh, right, yeah, help yourself, Kono," Steve says, sliding a steak onto her plate, and gesturing toward the condiments. "There's salad in the blue bowl as a side for those of us who like to eat healthy and actually _care_ about our cholesterol level."

"Hey, I care, my cholesterol level is just fine, okay? I am eating just fine, and I certainly don't need you to trick my daughter into-"

"I wasn't tricking her!" Steve looks offended at the accusation. "She is legitimately concerned about you, Danno, maybe you should-"

"And maybe you shouldn't put ideas into her head-"

"It's ready, it's ready! The movie's beginning," Grace shouts from the patio door and they all turn to look.

"I'm coming, Grace." Danny makes a plate for her and heads inside. "Come on, you two."

Steve groans and Kono nudges him with her elbow. "Come on. It's not that bad."

"Yeah, it's not. The first time. And the second. And even the third. But every single time she's over?" Steve sighs as they make their way inside, but Kono knows it's an act he's putting on. She can't help but notice how his face has been lit up since Grace jumped into his arms to hug him. "You can leave after you eat if you want," he tells her.

"I don't mind. Got nothing better to do." Steve gives her a look, trying to figure out if she's being sarcastic or not. She shrugs. "Really, I don't. Who doesn't enjoy some good PG-rated fun?"

Steve chuckles and follows her into the living room where Danny and Grace are settled on the couch. Kono gives them a smile which Danny returns, Grace already too absorbed in the movie to notice. She curls into an armchair next to the couch as Steve takes a seat in one across from her, propping his legs up and digging into his steak. She hasn't seen this movie in years, plus the steak is delicious, and it's nice to enjoy a quiet night with company, even if they're foregoing actual conversation to enjoy Nemo's underwater adventures. She and Steve exchange smiles every time Grace laughs at something onscreen, and tell Danny to stop when he tries to sing along. Even Grace joins them in that request until Danny relents, smiling widely as Grace covers his mouth with her tiny hands.

The room is dark with only the glare of the TV screen and some late afternoon rays of sunshine peeking in from behind the living room blinds. The colors of the animations are captivating... reds and greens of the coral reef, the blue of Dory, the orange of Nemo, the schools of colorful fish swimming by... mesmerizing colors as they swim in the deep blue sea...

When she wakes up, the room is nearly pitch-black and she blinks a few times in confusion. The TV is off and the rays of sunlight that had trickled into the room have been replaced with beams of moonlight. All she can hear is the sound of the ocean waves and a soft clacking. She turns to see Steve on the couch, typing on his laptop, surrounded by paperwork he's reading by the light of the computer screen. She stares at him for a moment, the muscles of his forearm, the lines of his face, the way he runs his hand through his hair every so often.

Even with his guard down in his own living room, Steve seems to realize he's being watched and suddenly turns, their eyes meeting under the glimmer of moonlight. Kono's mouth goes dry as she looks at him. Thankfully, he speaks first.

"Hey. Sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No, no. What time is it?"

"Almost ten," Steve answers. His hand moves to pause at the lamp on the side table. "Can I turn this on?"

"What? Yeah, sorry about that." She nods toward the lamp and her eyes adjust as soft light fills the room, setting a glow to his face, his dark eyes continuing to steadily watch her.

"It's fine. You looked comfortable so I didn't wanna wake you."

"Thanks. Sorry again." Steve just waves his hand, dismissing her apology as if co-workers fall asleep on his couch all the time. Well, maybe Danny does. Speaking of... "Where's Danny?"

"He left around seven. Grace has school tomorrow."

"Right." She gets up and stretches, noticing from the corner of her eye the way Steve's eyes flicker to her long legs. She checks her phone to confirm the time and shakes her head at herself. She had no idea she was going to pass out on his couch like a drunk. She hadn't even finished that beer Danny had given her when she arrived! "I'm never gonna be able to sleep now," she sighs.

"Well, wanna help me with this paperwork?" Steve suggests.

"Sure, why not?" Kono says, turning on another lamp as she moves to sit next to him the couch. "Sorry about that. Didn't know how tired I was."

They fall into a comfortable silence as Steve hands her a stack of the paperwork and she gets settled into reading reports and inventory sheets. After a little while, she can't stifle the yawn that escapes her.

"Still tired?"

"No, it's not that. This stuff is so boring!" Steve laughs at her whiny voice, his chuckle echoing in the quiet comfort of the living room. "I didn't realize how much you had to take home with you."

"It sucks but it's usually not this much. I'm doing a quick recap of the month's cases cause I have to meet with the Governor next week," Steve explains.

"Oh, right. Forgot about that. How's that going?" Kono questions.

"Fine, I guess. We're still under observation and Lori apparently reports on how we handle the more press-worthy cases."

"So she spies on us?"

"Yeah, basically. But what can we do?" He shrugs.

"True. Well, we're lucky she wasn't around last year," she comments. Steve gives her a puzzled look. "You know, shark tanks, grenades, hanging people off roofs," she lists for him.

"Okay, Kono, less talk, more paperwork, please," Steve says to her sternly. Then he smirks and adds, "Those were great times though, right?" She laughs at the proud look he has on his face as she'd listed the adventures.

They work in companionable silence for an hour with Kono teasing Steve about his handwriting ("It's not like penmanship was important in the Navy, Kono. Cut me some slack.") and re-living some of the best parts of the cases. ("Remember when the drug trafficking guy said he had the same tie as Danny?" "His face was hilarious! He nearly had an aneurysm!" "See, thank you. And he says _I_ have an aneurysm face." "You totally do." "I do not!") She gets popcorn and sodas from the kitchen when she gets the munchies and they settle back to enjoy the snack.

"Seriously, paperwork is the worst. I should've stayed asleep," she says as she drinks her soda and Steve gives her a playful glare.

"Not nice." There's the quiet sound of crunching as they dig into the popcorn then Steve asks, "How have you been sleeping?"

"Um... fine."

"No, I mean it. Still having nightmares?"

She tenses and looks to find him staring at her in that disconcerting way he has been for weeks now, as if he's trying to read inside her to the words she won't say. "What... How do you know about that?"

"We could all tell."

"Oh, so you guys just talk about me when I'm out of the room?" She's aware of her tone but she can't stop herself.

"No, we were just worried," he replies, not fazed by her accusation and seeing right through it. "So I'll ask again, how are you sleeping, Kono?" He's using his calm and rational SEAL voice, the one that makes suspects quiver and spill their guts in fear.

She sighs then decides it's easier to answer than putting in energy to avoid the conversation. She doesn't have the energy to fight right now. Her defenses are down. "Fine. Better."

Steve nods. "Good. Nightmares aren't uncommon after, but you need to make sure you have it under control or they can really mess you up. Make sure you're exercising, the adrenaline helps."

"I am," she says then sits back in silence, munching on her popcorn, trying to get back to the paperwork. But no matter how hard she stares at the printed words in front of her, through the curtain of her dark hair she sees him looking at her. No point in ignoring it. "What?" she asks finally with an exaggerated sigh, turning to face him on the couch, their knees brushing, the denim of his jeans rough on her bare skin.

"Nothing," Steve says too quickly. She gives him a pointed look so he continues. "I just... You did a good job, Kono. I mean, you've done quick undercover ops in the past year but to go in deep like that, not knowing how long it would be... for a rookie, you did a great job."

"You mean I had everyone fooled?" It slips out of her before she realizes how accusing it sounds and sees him wince, both of them remembering the way that situation was handled. Or not handled, more like.

She didn't mean for it to come out that way, the words hovering in the air as if to wipe away all the progress they'd made in the past few weeks - him coming over and apologizing, a carefree breakfast at the waffle house, exchanging secret smiles of gratefulness at work, and feeling thankful to be heading back to normal with each other. Even if the _normal_ felt different this time around, as if it carried with it the hint of possibility in the air and the scent of attraction that's hard to ignore.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't..." Her hand goes to his knee in a gesture of apology as she tries to form the right words. "I didn't mean it like that. I know we're past it. I'm a bitch about it in my head sometimes. I didn't mean it like that, promise."

But Steve shakes his head at her. "You don't have to apologize. I should apologize again."

"No," Kono relents. "You did. You already did. I need to get over it. And I am. I really am. I'm good. I'm sorry about that," she says honestly.

"You did do great," he repeats after she finishes her apology. His eyes are still stormy from her comment though and Kono knows he's beating himself up all over again. Steve has never been one to let the past go or easily forgive himself. There's nothing to do now but move past it; apologies have been offered and that was the first step to begin moving forward.

"To go deep undercover like that and keep a cool head. And Chin told me what a rough crowd Delano and his guys are. They have a bad rep all over the island. You really held your own. You did... You did great."

It's funny they're having this conversation now because while Kono was undercover, she often wondered what it would be like if he approached her, if she'd opened up to him. Fryer had made it clear she was to break ties with 5-0, and with Danny and Steve not around, all that was left was pushing Chin Ho away. It was painful but necessary, even if he tried to put up a good fight. She wonders sometimes if she would have trusted Steve enough to spill her worries, to ask for help, to get advice, to have someone to talk to.

"It was..." She looks up to see him listening quietly, focused on her, urging her to continue. "It was scary at first when they approached me. I mean, my first instinct was to run. So to make myself believe it and prove myself, I kept..." She clears her throat before revealing, "I kept waiting for them to figure me out and for it to be over."

"Yeah. Yeah." It's all Steve says but he seems to understand the tremendous weight of what she's saying, of her admission of fear. "It's okay, you know. The nightmares are your way of re-adjusting." He shifts on the couch as if he's uncomfortable, runs a hand through his hair in what she's recognizing as one of his few nervous gestures. "I... I used to get them too. Nightmares, I mean, I used to get them too."

Kono stares at him, surprised at him revealing a personal detail, especially one which could be seen as a sign of weakness. She's never heard him confess something like that. For him to admit it to her... she's touched. "You did?"

He nods, eyes avoiding her gaze as if he's now embarrassed. "Yeah. After missions and stuff. It could get bad at times but now I'm used to turning my mind off when I'm asleep. So, it's... you're... it's fine to get them. You're... as long as you're getting over them and getting back to sleeping."

She nods, eyes still on his face even if he won't make eye contact. "I am. I barely get them now. Haven't in weeks."

Finally, with nowhere else to look, his gaze having darted around the room to the popcorn bowl to the paperwork to the blank TV screen, Steve looks back at her. She gives him a gentle smile and sees his shoulders fall back in relief, even if he looks flustered after sharing something personal.

"Thank you," she says softly, quietly, and he nods.

"You're welcome. You'll be fine, Kono. You _are_ fine."

His voice is low in the darkness of the room, and it's as if it has a texture and a feel to it, smooth and warm and comforting, as his words hang in the air between them on the couch. Kono suddenly becomes aware of how late it is, of how dark the room is, of the sound of the ocean waves from outside, and the way he looks at her like he doesn't see someone broken, but he sees someone _whole._ The spark in the air feels flammable; if they make a move, it may light in front of them and they'll both get burned. She feels like she's holding her breath even though she needs to desperately breathe.

This is not a good idea. No, this would not be a good idea at all.

Kono forces herself to break the gaze, which is difficult since she feels spellbound by the blue of his eyes. "I should go." She sets her soda on the coffee table, standing up in such a rush that the folders in her lap fall. She reaches for them at the same time he does from his sitting position on the couch, and his hand brushes against the soft skin on the underside of her knee. They both jump back, and Kono feels heat flaming her face.

"Sorry," Steve mutters, quickly pulling his hand away. It seems like a blush blooms on his face but it could just be the lighting.

If this wasn't so awkward, Kono would laugh right about now. She's no prude, and Steve blushing over his hand accidentally grazing her knee? She's spent more than half her life in a bikini, for goodness sake! In fact, she was dressed in one when they first met. Talk about professional work attire when meeting your boss! Why does it now feel like innocent brush of his fingers is sending her body humming?

"No, it's fine," she says hurriedly, feeling like she can't take a proper breath of air until she's out of the living room, away from him, out of the house. She makes her way to the front door, Steve trailing behind her. "It's late. My boss is a hardass if I'm not at work on time."

"Very funny," he remarks dryly and she gives him a smile as they pause at the front door. He opens it while she digs her keys out of her pocket.

Kono looks up at him, the frantic sound of chirping crickets from the front porch matching the pace of her quickening heartbeat. Maybe it's the moonlight outside or the murmur of the ocean waves from his backyard, but this feels too intimate and awkward and she shifts restlessly from one foot to the other. He looks down at her and it hits her again just how _tall_ he is.

"Thanks for the steak."

"My pleasure. Good night, Kono."

"Night, Boss."

She gets into her car and pulls out of the driveway, not looking back until she gets to the street. He's still standing at the front door, watching her drive away. The light from the living room she just left shines like a beacon to her from the otherwise dark house, beckoning her back to a place where she's wanted.

* * *

"Chin, you promised," Kono whines. Yes, she's whining, and she knows it.

"Sorry, Kono. I told you, Malia told me about lunch with her family and I have to go. I'm sorry."

"But you _promised!"_

"I know, and I'm sorry it was short notice. Sorry." His usual calm facade cracks as he looks at her and she knows he truly means the apology and regrets having to cancel.

But, still!

"I can't believe you, you jerkface." Chin smiles at her fondly. He knows her well enough to realize she understands his reason to cancel and is okay with it, but right now she just wants to have a temper tantrum about the fact that she can't get her older cousin to listen to her every demand. She's done the same thing since she was eight and Chin refused to buy her adult scuba gear from the mall. "You promised, you... you..." she fumbles for a word strong enough to convey his betrayal. "You _lovesick_ jerkface!"

She's talking about the annual luau held on the beach to promote local surfers and encourage community interest in the surf stores. As a former surf star, and more importantly, a local in the area, Kono's expected to attend. She gets a call every year confirming her appearance and even though she seems to have missed the call from the representative this month, press for the event is all over the island and she knows she has to be there.

And she sort of hates it.

Sure, there's food and hot guys, but being surrounded by the energy of the young rising surfers, being recognized as a has-been in the community can get depressing after a whole day. She has no choice but to put on a fake smile and encourage everyone to reach for their dreams, to applaud at the right times, to watch the pitying looks in the audience as they recognize her as the promising star who blew out her knee and had no choice but to return home. She's been invited to attend for years and she always takes Chin along for support. He gets her to laugh, smiles at her through the crowd, makes fun of the horrible swimsuits, and they stop for shave ice on the way home. It's a tradition.

Which he's abandoning.

"Please, Chin?" She sounds pitiful and she knows the answer will be no, and the mature and reasonable side of her understands that he can't make it because his plans with Malia are important, but she doesn't want to face the crowd alone. She always feels more brave with Chin at her side.

"Sorry, kid, you know I would if I could."

Kono groans in a loud and dramatic fashion and flops down next to him on the couch, dropping her head on his shoulder. He puts an arm around her in apology and usually she's not one for displays of affection in the office, but she can't bring herself to mind right now. They're sitting in the 5-0 lounge while Steve and Danny wait for HPD officers to take the arsonist they'd caught. It was a rock-paper-scissors contest to see which set of partners would have to wait with the guy. Danny throws rock every other time. He's too easy.

"You'll be fine on your own, Kono, you can handle it," Chin assures her as he squeezes her shoulder comfortingly. She doesn't reply, only sighs loudly and he smirks at her theatrics.

"What's wrong with the rookie?"

Her eyes flick up to see Steve and Danny joining them with sodas as they settle down on the other couch. It's been a long day and even with the case closed, getting up and driving home seems to take too much energy right now so they do what they often do - relax in the lounge with some snacks and old football game footage until they remember they have homes of their own to get to. It's a habit Lori doesn't seem to understand because she had left as soon as she finished her paperwork.

"She has to go to that surf event on the beach tomorrow-" Chin begins.

"Yeah, I'd be upset too. Sounds like torture," Danny comments in all seriousness. Kono rolls her eyes at him. The others just ignore him.

"And I was supposed to go with her but I can't," Chin finishes.

"You _won't,_" Kono points out like a child who hasn't gotten her way.

"I can't. Sorry, Kono, I promised Malia, it's important to her." _And she's important to me._ That sentence is unspoken but Kono hears it well. She knows how important this second chance at a future with Malia is to Chin, can feel the happiness radiating from him every time he's with her. She'd gotten to know Malia again and they'd fallen back into their easy friendship. Seeing Chin smile more, laugh more, Kono's come to love the woman all over again. She has a sneaking suspicion Chin may be proposing (again) soon so, yes, she does know this is important to him.

But did lunch with the family have to be on the same Saturday as the beach event? Come on!

"I know," she says in a quiet voice and Chin gives her a quick kiss on the head at hearing her loyal support.

"Ask Kelly."

"Can't. She has some work retreat thing."

"Alana? You two used to be close."

"We are, but she visits her dad at the nursing home on Saturdays, so I feel bad asking her," Kono explains grumpily.

"You could always ask Charlie."

"Charlie who?"

"Charlie Fong," Chin says slyly, and she lifts her head from his shoulder to look at him more clearly.

"What?" She hears Danny chuckle and turns to him but he tosses her an innocent look. "I don't get it."

"Oh, come on, Charlie is _totally_ in love with you," Danny exclaims. She knew he wouldn't be able to hold his silence for very long. That took all of what, a minute? Apparently neither of the others can keep quiet on this topic either because Chin lets out a laugh, and even Steve chuckles.

"What? He's not- we're not- we're just friends," Kono stammers out.

"Yeah, okay. Just a friend who wants to do dirty things to you then marry you and have ten all-natural Hawaiian kids to further populate this island," Danny says in a tone that implies he can't believe she managed to become a cop if she misses such obvious signs like this.

"That is true, cuz. He can never take his eyes off you when you go to the lab," Chin comments.

"That's cause he's telling me the results he found!" The guys laugh again as if they're in on a joke she has no idea about. She throws them a dirty look which they ignore. "He's passionate about his work, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Danny mimics, still laughing along with Chin. Steve chuckles from his corner of the couch and she glares at him. He stops immediately, but doesn't manage to erase the smile off his face as he takes another sip of his soda.

Okay, fine. She knows Charlie has a thing for her. It's pretty obvious every time she goes to the crime lab. His staring isn't exactly subtle. It's _adorable,_ but not at all subtle. But she's hesitant because she doesn't want to come off as eager in case it encourages him to make a move.

Truth be told, she doesn't feel the magic with him, that chemistry and that spark that attracts her to a guy in the first place. Why start something if it isn't going to be worth it in the end? It would only make things awkward at work. That's the last thing she needs to complicate her work day, having to avoid the lab because the guys hate driving all the way out to HPD, and as the rookie she's often left doing it, hence all the time to chat with Charlie. She does like talking to Charlie and they have a lot of friends and history in common.

But a relationship? Doing "dirty things together," as Danny had pointed out? She wasn't feeling it. So she's been ignoring it. There isn't that spark that makes her want to dive in, consequences be damned, hearts being reckless.

She certainly doesn't appreciate the guys teasing her about it for their amusement after a long day though.

"Thanks for your romantic assessment of the situation, Dr. Strange Love," she directs at Danny who gives her a smirk and a thumbs up, "but I'm not asking Charlie. And as much as it pains me to ask you since you are my absolute last choice, are you free? Better you than going alone."

Danny puts his hand to his chest as if her comments have wounded him. "Ouch, that's harsh. You hurt me good. But sorry, nope. Grace, Gabby, and I are going to the zoo tomorrow."

"I hate you. I didn't want you to come anyway."

"You really don't wanna go to this cookout on the beach, don't you? Why don't you just skip it?"

"I can't. I have to go."

"You _have_ to? What, is attendance mandatory at this thing? They'll call your mother if you don't show up? Tell HPD on you? Ruin your island street cred with your other surfer friends?"

"Yes," she snaps at him. "And it's not a cookout, it's a luau."

"Whatever. What's the difference anyway? There'll be _food_ cooking _outside_. Same thing." Danny argues simply for the sake of arguing and Kono's annoyed enough to fall into his trap.

"It is not the same thing. A luau is different. It's _Hawaiian._ Assimilate already!"

"Oh, wow, okay. Assimilate, I see how it is. Maybe I don't want to assimilate. Maybe I'm just fine using 'cookout' instead of 'luau' because luau is much harder to say than a simple compound word and why must this language make itself harder than it needs to be-"

"Luau has less letters, Danny!"

"I'll go," Steve offers. Kono and Danny stop bickering to stare at him. Steve looks at her, and gestures to himself. "I can go. I mean, if you want."

"Uh... sure," Kono answers after a pause. "If you don't have plans or anything."

"No, I'm sure he was just going to climb Mount Everest or hold his breath underwater for an hour, his regular weekend activities. A cookout..." Danny stops as Kono and Steve both look to him. "Oh, excuse me, a _luau_ would be a nice reprieve for our SEAL here."

"Yeah, take Steve," Chin volunteers, getting up from his spot, tossing his soda can in the recycle bin, and giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. "It'll be fine, Kono. Call me later."

"Yeah, yeah, have fun with Malia," she says and he waves to her as he turns down the hall. With a hint of sadness, she realizes that she's really going to miss having him around all the time once he and Malia tie the knot (come on, she's totally going to say yes). She's gotten comfortable with the thought of having Chin all to herself these past few years... for meals, for movies, for hanging out when she's lonely and doesn't want to be alone, and for being there for when she wants to be alone but he knows she shouldn't be. It's a little tough knowing she has to let him go to another woman but she is happy to see him so in love with Malia.

She looks back to see Steve watching her, a kind smile on his face as if he understands what she's thinking. "I realize I wasn't on your list of options, but I'd be happy to go," he teases

"Sorry about that," Kono says with a shrug. "I thought you'd be busy or something. Chin usually goes with me... but sure, I'd appreciate the company."

"Okay, cool. It starts early, right? Seven?"

"Six, actually, but I don't need to be there until eight for the opening ceremony. Sorry to make you get up so early on your day off."

"I'm usually up anyway," Steve replies, waving off her apology.

"Yeah, he's a weirdo like that. Sleeping is a form of weakness or something," Danny explains. "Can't let your body rest too much. That, and with his three minute shower rule, he starts his day at 5AM while the rest of us like to actually sleep like normal people while the sun is still down."

Kono stares to Steve in horror. "You take three minute showers?!"

"It's a Navy shower, Danny! That's what you do in the Navy!" Steve directs at him, his voice rising in indignation. "Water is a luxury, you do not waste it. Well, look who I'm talking to? You sure do."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, you two crazy kids have fun on your date now," Danny says on his way back to his office to collect his things. "No grenades, no AK-47s, no blowing things up, please. Keep it out of the evening news."

"But that doesn't sound like fun at all," Steve yells after him, winking at Kono and grinning as she laughs.

Oh no. This is bad.

Those sparks she mentioned? That wanting to dive in, see where it leads, risk her heart simply for the moment?

She feels the rush of it every time he smiles at her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to those of you who have been following the story. I look forward to your comments so much. This is another long section but I wanted to keep the story in ten even chapters, so enjoy!

And to those who keep commenting about how familiar the story seems to them, it should. I posted it last year but I couldn't complete the updates, so I'm re-posting it now.

* * *

She's curled under the covers when her phone starts buzzing. When she glances at it, she sees it's almost 7:30 and Steve is calling. Dammit, she forgot to text him.

"I'm not going. Go home, Steve," she answers without an actual greeting.

"What? Why? What happened?" Steve asks. At the same time she hears his voice in her ear, there's a knock on her front door which must mean he's calling from outside. Still, she continues the conversation on the phone, refusing to get out of bed and answer the door.

"Nothing. Sorry to have you drive out here. Bye." She hangs up.

He calls again. And again. And texts. And texts again. She ignores the buzzing of her phone but then the constant pounding on her door begins.

"Kono, what's wrong? Open up!"

"Nothing!" she shouts toward the general direction of the living room, hoping he'll get the hint.

But that would be too easy.

"I'm not leaving. You may as well open up or I'll go to Chin's and get a key," he yells back, the knocking continuing steadily with no sign of stopping. It's as if he's following a rhythm. Two knocks, pause, two knocks, pause. Oh great, now three knocks.

She considers ignoring him. He has to leave eventually, right? But knowing Steve, he'll be true to his word and interrupt Chin's day. The last thing she wants is to share this news with her cousin. The knocking continues, and Kono thinks of being as stubborn as him and leaving him out there but then she remembers Mrs. Kaeo from next door. She already scolds Kono whenever she sees her for slamming the car door when she gets home at all hours of the day. Sorry she doesn't work nine to five like a normal person, sheesh. If only criminals kept strict business hours, and Mrs. Kaeo wasn't such a light sleeper.

"Hey, you know what, I'll just break it down, no need to bother Chin."

Kono wonders for a second if he'll actually do it then realizes she's kidding herself if she thinks he won't. She decides to save Mrs. Kaeo the noise early on a Saturday and gets out of bed. She throws the front door open to find him leaning against the door frame, concern evident on his face. She's surprised he hasn't drawn his firearm in his eagerness to break in.

"What happened?" His trained military eye roams over her, as if searching for visible gunshot wounds, and then he glances behind her to the living room for any signs of foul play. She's still dressed in her beach going outfit, the short skirt and bright tank top, but her face is blotchy and her eyes are red; he doesn't miss those details.

"Are you _crying?_" The disbelief and shock in his tone is evident, and instantly puts her on the defense.

"No!" she answers a little too quickly. She turns and walks back to her bedroom and crawls back underneath the covers, hoping he'll leave but knowing he'll follow.

Today is not the day for things to go her way.

Sure enough, she hears the thud of heavy footsteps and looks to see Steve in the doorway of her bedroom. He stands there awkwardly, his gaze moving from her under the covers, to the closet bursting with clothes, the dresser lined with rows of makeup and perfume bottles, and the pile of dirty laundry at the foot of her bed. She hopes there's no underwear laying around. Too late to worry about that now.

He takes tentative steps toward the armchair next to her bed, traveling with as much care as he would over a field of landmines. He moves a hairbrush and a sweatshirt from the seat, his face confused at her sudden change of plans they'd made for the day. She muses at how he looks like a giant in the cramped quarters of her bedroom as he folds himself into the small chair. Kono takes a second to admire how vividly blue his eyes look when he wears a blue shirt, the dark ink of his tattoos visible under short sleeves when he moves his arms. Blue is definitely this Navy boy's color. There's that spark again as they lock eyes; butterflies start to swarm in her stomach and she makes an effort to squelch them.

He glances at his watch before speaking. "It's almost eight. What's going on?"

"I'm not going." She's curled onto her side facing him, the blanket wrapped around her more for comfort than for actual warmth. Who doesn't want to be curled under the covers after the start of a bad day? And in her case, it's only 7:46AM.

"What happened?"

"I don't wanna go, okay?"

"Well, yeah. I got that yesterday, but you said you had to be there."

"Well, now I don't want to be there so I'm not going."

Steve's not buying it. "Are you sick?"

"Yes," she answers.

He stares at her, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Why did her closest friends have to be cops and detectives and lieutenant commanders in the Navy? She needs to find new friends, ones who aren't required to act as human lie detectors for their line of work so she can lie to them and get away with it. That's what she's missing in her friendships.

"What happened, Kono?"

"I said I don't wanna talk about it, alright?" Her voice is harsh and angry and she knows it's too early and she's being a bitch after he drove all the way out here, but thinking of the phone call from this morning makes her squirm with humiliation and want to cry all over again. She wants to stay curled in bed all day and forget about it, which is what she had been planning to do until he'd threatened to break her door down. And, knowing him, he wouldn't okay the work expense report to cover it and she'd have to pay for it out of her own money. He's petty like that when he wants to be.

Steve leans back in the chair, his eyes remaining focused on her, his gaze not moving an inch. He's clearly getting comfortable and not planning on going anywhere. He sits and stares. She tells herself to fall asleep on him. But when she opens her eyes, he's still sitting there, still staring. The way his blue eyes remain locked on her is unnerving, as if he's reading the lines of her face, searching for clues. She squirms under the covers at the staring contest she's now engaged in with her boss.

After she sneaks (or so she thinks) half a dozen looks at him over the top of her blanket, he comments sarcastically, "I'm free all weekend."

Kono ignores him for another five minutes, refusing to give in to his laser-eyed SEAL stare. Unfortunately for her, he's been trained to be patient, to stalk his prey and jump only at the right moment, even if that moment takes days to appear. Waiting is what he does best and he'll wait however long it takes in quiet commitment. It's a quality she always admired about him when they were on stakeouts. She gets jittery half an hour in, while Steve has no trouble holding his concentration for hours.

Now? She finds his skills so damn _annoying._

Finally, Kono sighs. Steve recognizes defeat on her features and manages to hide his smirk at his successful mission. Well, barely. That bastard.

"They asked me not to come," she says quietly.

"Excuse me? Can't hear you from under the covers."

She groans but sits up in bed, shoving the covers down to her waist. Enough moping for now. She repeats it louder. "They asked me not to come."

There's confusion on Steve's face as he tries to get a read on the situation from that one sentence alone. "I don't get it."

"They..." She swallows her pride. He was sweet enough to drive out here early on a Saturday morning, the least she can offer him is an explanation so he can go home. "I called this morning to ask for a parking pass cause I didn't get one in the mail. They connected me to the coordinator who asked me not to attend this year."

Steve frowns as he tries to put together the pieces in the story she's telling, struggling to see the complete picture. "I thought you go every year."

"I do. I did," she corrects herself. "I... they... they didn't want me there this year and told me they'd appreciate it if I'd avoid a scene and stay home." Kono takes a deep breath to hold back tears but her eyes are getting watery and she hates herself for showing any sign of weakness in front of Steve. She keeps her head down, staring at her blanket, the colorful pattern of squares and zigzags blurring as she blinks quickly.

Steve sighs in frustration, his hands waving in exasperation at her clues. "Okay, maybe it's because it's our day off, but I'm missing something here. _What_ are you talking about?"

"They don't want me there this year because of my dismissal from the police force. They don't want to introduce me as one of the local surfers who's still in Hawaii because I betrayed Hawaii."

There's silence in the room for what feels like an eternity. Kono can't stand it any longer and lifts her head to look at Steve. He looks so intense that it shocks her for a second. The lines of his jaw are tight as if he's clenching his teeth to restrain anger, and his hands have become balled fists as if he wants to swing at something. She feels a tremor run through her as she realizes this is his face when he stops being the patient hunter waiting for his prey and finally pounces.

"They can't do that, Kono, you've been re-instated," he finally says, his voice low, words coming out clipped, as if it's taking all his energy to remain calm.

"I know. I told them. They know. But they think it'd be better press coverage for the event if I didn't attend this year until they can confirm my story with HPD and it's not such recent news."

He's rising from the chair, anger radiating off him in waves as he paces in front of her. Her thoughts flash back to the interrogation room when he'd had a similar reaction... at that time it had felt like he was preying on her, but this time, he's defending her.

That makes all the difference in the world.

"That's... that's fucking _bullshit._ That is not fair. You've been cleared!"

"I know," she says, her voice hollow.

"They can't do that. They can't," Steve repeats. "We're going. Let's go." He reaches for her hand, tugging at her to get up.

"What? No!" Kono exclaims, pulling her arm back. "I don't want to go!"

"So you're just gonna let some dickhead in charge tell you to stay home?!"

"If that's what he thinks is best for the event, then, yeah!" Kono says, her voice raised. "If they think it's gonna look bad to their sponsors, then I'm not gonna mess that up for them!"

"You've been _cleared!"_ He repeats, nearly yelling at her now.

"I know that! Don't you think I know that?" she fires back. Much to her dismay, the outburst of emotion causes a few tears to slide down her cheeks. She hurries to wipe them away, but from the panicked look on Steve's face, he's seen them. He stops pacing to stand in front of her, watching silently as she quickly covers her face with her hands. She can't stop the sob that escapes her lungs.

Because it hurts. It really does.

She hadn't realized how much of an impact the suspension and the undercover job was going to have on her life. It had created cracks in her relationships with the team, but at least they had managed to fix those and bridge the distance to return to the way things were.

But sometimes she gets stares on the street as if people are trying to place her with the officer they saw on the evening news all those months ago. She'd cleared things up with parents and her close friends, but sometimes she wonders if they believe her story, if they all hadn't wondered about her when she'd gone undercover and played the "bad cop" convincingly enough to have them worried.

At least she had surfing. Even if the beach luau was annoying, it was a constant that she went to where it was all about her talent in the water, not about anything personal. Sure, she hated being put on display as one of the island's past achievements, but knowing that she wasn't welcome, knowing that they didn't want her there because they didn't completely trust her to invite her back, it really _fucking_ hurt. She takes a ragged breath to calm herself, forces the rest of the tears back. The bed creaks and she feels its weight shift and the warmth of Steve's body heat envelopes her side as he sits next to her. She wipes at her face frantically, hoping her water-proof mascara kept its promise.

Kono looks at him and finds his expression full of regret, his blue eyes an abyss of tenderness as he stares at her. "I'm sorry, Kono. I am so sorry." His hands lay lamely at his side, as if he's not sure what to do with them. Then he carefully reaches out to touch her bare shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze in comfort.

"It's fine. I didn't wanna go anyway," she reminds him and he nods at her effort of normalcy, pushing the issue behind her and not bringing it up again. Goosebumps rise over her skin as his warm fingers rub against her shoulder, consoling her, silently telling her it's their loss, that he believes her, that she is wanted by _him._ She's grateful he's ignoring her tears even as his eyes map the tracks left on her cheeks.

"Yeah, a cookout on the beach does sound pretty dumb," he agrees and then smiles wide when she laughs slightly at the reminder of her argument with Danny from yesterday.

"Yeah," she murmurs, relieved he's playing along. She doesn't want to wallow anymore. It's not that bad. It's just for this year. Truth be told, she can't blame the committee for wanting to play it safe. They have a lot of sponsors on the island and it's critical they have good press to entice new visitors. They'll clear it up and she'll be back next year and complaining about the overeager teens asking her for advice, the overeager guys asking for her number, and how there are never any hot dogs left by the time she's allowed off stage to eat. "I'm sorry for not texting you earlier and wasting your time."

"You're never a waste of time." Steve shakes his head at her comment, and the confidence with which he declares his sentiment makes her glow from the inside. She's thankful for his support, even for his anger and outrage at the situation. It feels nice not to be alone with her feelings, to know there's someone else who sees the world at this moment as unfair like she does. It's better than being alone in a corner with no one at your side. She was already in that position and it was unbelievably lonely. Having someone undoubtedly on her side... it's more heartening than being cocooned in her favorite blanket, which is how she was planning on spending her morning. This is better.

"I can't believe I got up so early on a Saturday for nothing!" she complains.

"Not for nothing." She turns to give him a questioning look. "We can still do something. Screw the beach. Let's go... let's go to the caves and go for a hike," he suggests. "The view will be great this time of year."

"You mean the same caves where you and Danny had your hiking date and you took a fall and nearly died? Those haunted caves?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "Well, yeah, but Danny complained the whole hike up. You'd be much better company."

"I can't believe you just said that," she states with a gleeful smile on her face. "Let me write that down. I can't wait to tell Danny on Monday."

"Come on, it'll be fun. And hey, I brought my bike so it'll be a great ride down the coast," he adds. He had her convinced at "bike" because there's nothing she loves more than riding behind Chin on his motorcycle. It's her favorite means of transport besides a surfboard - the wind in her hair, open road ahead, letting her thoughts blow away with the breeze.

"Okay, I'm in." He pumps his fist in a gesture of success as she accepts his invitation. She's already awake. She has nothing better to do. He offered. Why waste the day? "You're sure you didn't have plans though, right? I don't know if you already cancelled something since I dragged you into this, and I don't mind if you go home, really-"

"Kono," he interrupts her, giving her a crooked smile once she stops talking. "I'm free. Let's go."

She grins at him, her first real smile of the day. "Okay, let me just get changed. Feel free to grab breakfast in the kitchen. I don't know if you ate already."

"Will do. Get ready," he orders as he heads to the doorway. "We can grab sandwiches for lunch. I know this great deli on the way there, best sandwiches on the island."

"Steve?" she calls to him and he turns to look at her from the doorway, looking so wonderfully delicious that it makes her throat go dry. "Thanks." _For being here, for making me smile, for reminding me I'm worth it, for having my back._

He nods, his eyes glowing as he looks at her almost bashfully, as if he's revealed too much emotion in the last fifteen minutes and needs to reign his heart back.

But there's no going back now.

"Not a problem. Ready when you are."

She washes up, changes into jeans and hiking boots, and enters the kitchen to find Steve staring at her assortment of sugary cereals. She can't help but laugh as he turns to look at her, holding up a box of cinnamon peanut butter-y goodness in one hand, and something with marshmallows in the other.

"What is this?" he asks, holding it like it was found at a crime scene and he's expecting her to pull out an evidence bag to send it to the lab for further testing.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you're a cereal snob. What, only Raisin Bran or something equally boring for you?"

"Okay, now you sound like Danny. He actually eats this stuff by the bowlful." Steve shakes his head, in remorse for poor Danny and his sad dietary decisions.

"Um, yeah, so do I." Kono opens the flap to grab a handful right from the box, and munches on it in front of him. "For breakfast, lunch, and dinner." He shakes his head at her. "Come on, I have enough of Chin on my case for how much pizza and takeout I eat every week. Not you too."

"Wait, how much pizza do you eat every week?" Steve asks curiously as he leaves her the cereal and grabs a lone banana from her sorry excuse of a fruit bowl. Seriously, there's one apple and a banana in there. Well, now just an apple. She doesn't even know how long that apple's been there or where it came from.

"Um, a lot," she answers, rummaging through the cabinets for a box of energy bars she thought she had somewhere.

"And you still look like that?" Steve muses.

Kono slowly turns to look at him, hand on her hip, brows raised. His eyes widen as if he hadn't realized the thought was said out loud. "Look like _what?"_

"Um... like, well, that," he stammers as he waves his hand toward her body in a general up and down motion. Kono waits for him to continue. "Good. Still look good," he says lamely.

She grins at his compliment and watches the panic disappear from his face. Did he think she was going to beat him up for admitting that he thinks she's hot? Not to brag or anything, but she was a professional surfer and spent most of her years prancing around in a bikini. She has enough confidence to know she looks reasonably good half-dressed. Pretty _damn_ good, actually.

"Right. Well, thanks," she comments with a wink, her dimples showing and he shakes his head at himself for falling for the trick question.

"You really wanted Chin to come, huh?" Steve says.

"What? No, no, I'm really glad you're here," she responds a little too quickly with a little too much enthusiasm. He gives her the same stare he gives Danny when he insists that donuts are a healthy breakfast choice and have no impact on his cholesterol level. "Okay, well, fine, I guess. It's a tradition. But," she sighs, "he has Malia now and I'm happy for him."

"Things won't change that much." She looks to him in surprise and he shrugs at the sudden turn of the conversation. "I mean... it's not like he's going to move away or anything once he gets married."

"I know that, I do." Kono smiles at his reassurance and him knowing her well enough to see how she's felt about things changing with her cousin when he eventually takes the next step with Malia. How did he know? Maybe he's picking up more about her than she realizes. Maybe he cares more than she knows. "And I am really happy for him, Malia's awesome. I'm glad he's not wasting his second chance."

"Yeah, second chances should not to be wasted," Steve agrees, his voice husky with emotion as he stares at her, their eyes meeting across her kitchen table. Kono realizes that this is a second chance for them too. Even after feeling like she was let down, like she had been forgotten, they are starting again and the hesitant steps they've taken feel like progress. He is keeping his promise to be there, to show his support whether she is ready for it or not, and she realizes that he is a man who values second chances and will not make the same mistake twice.

She clears her throat and turns to close the cabinet behind her. "Okay, I thought I had some energy bars here but I guess not. Sorry."

"It's fine. You wanna grab breakfast on the way?"

"You just don't want to try the sugary cereal, that's all. Once you do, you know you'll be hooked," Kono jokes, but nods at his suggestion. She could use some real coffee after her lousy morning if she's going to stay awake all day and keep up with him on the hike.

"I'll pass on the sugar high. You and Danny can bond over that." He waits at the door while she grabs her things and locks up.

They step outside and Kono remembers sitting with him at this spot weeks ago when he came to apologize. Just like that morning, the sky is a translucent blue and the sun shines brightly as the rays reach through the clouds to hit her bare skin. She takes it as a good omen for the day ahead. The tears are gone, and despite the letdown she felt after the phone call, she now feels much lighter, much brighter under the gleaming Hawaiian sunshine. It was only one disappointment; the day can still be salvaged. Maybe by spending it with Steve, she can enjoy the rest of it.

"You're still paying, right?" Kono smirks as he groans playfully.

"Fine," he grumbles, the hint of a smile on his face as he looks at her. "Hanging out with you is like revenge for all the times I'm with Danny and forget my wallet."

"Yeah, sure, 'forget' your wallet," she repeats and watches him laugh.

"Okay, you got me," he admits with a shrug.

"Hey, I'll start paying if you give me a raise."

"Take it up with the governor, Kono."

* * *

"We need to connect him to the bank payments, that's how we can nail this guy to the hit he put out," Danny says.

"I know, I know," Steve agrees.

"But nothing is connecting! I don't get where he could have withdrawn the money from."

"I know."

"There's nothing fishy in his personal or work accounts but I am telling you, he had the means to pay for it and that's what-"

"Danny, I know!" Steve snaps in annoyance. Danny finally quiets and joins the others in waiting for instructions in silence, not happy at being interrupted but knowing the next steps are critical for them to decide together.

"Well, Steven, O Wise One, what shall we do now?" Danny asks, ignoring the dirty look Steve sends him. Kono and Lori exchange wary glances that another bickering session may be starting.

Steve exhales roughly then begins giving orders. "Okay, how about this? Danny, Lori, you meet with the wife again. We need her to tell us if there could be another bank account or where this guy could be heading." Danny nods, apparently agreeing with Steve's line of thought and leaving the possible argument for later. "Make sure to alert airport security, just in case!" Steve yells after them and Danny gives him a thumbs up as he and Lori head out.

"Chin, you take another look at the bank accounts."

"But Danny said-"

"I know, I know, but try checking under Bennett's mom's maiden name because his wife mentioned a trust she'd set up for him once she retired. See if that pans out." Chin nods and begins pulling up documents on the plasma screen. Steve turns to Kono who's getting off the phone. "Did you get in touch with the bank manager?"

Kono nods. "Secretary said he'll be back from lunch in another half hour so we can ask about the safety deposit box."

Steve clasps his hands together in a gesture of relief that progress is being made. "Good, good." Finally, things are starting to look up. "We'll head there in a few minutes then. Like Danny said, we just need to find the bank account he used and we can finally get him for this."

"What a jackass, putting a hit out on his wife," Kono comments and Steve makes a sound of agreement as he looks over his notes. "You sure you still wanna get married, cuz?" she teases Chin.

The older man looks up from the computer screen to grin at her. "Cute, Kono." She shrugs innocently and Steve chuckles at them. "Oh, and how'd the beach luau go? You two have a good time?"

There's a second of silence where Steve looks to Kono, waiting for her answer.

"Oh... yeah, it was fine," she stammers with a nod.

"See, told you so. Let me guess, same as every year with them running out of the good beer halfway through the afternoon and all the guys trying to hit on you."

"Yup." Kono forces a smile, avoiding Steve's stare. "Same as always."

Chin laughs. "Well, I won't lie, I've sat through many a luau for you over the years so I'm glad Steve could rescue me this year."

"Yeah. It was fun," Steve adds when Chin turns to him for an additional comment.

"Glad it wasn't a total waste of your Saturday then, Steve," Chin replies offhandedly, his eyes back on computer screen in front of him.

"Nope. Not a waste," Steve says, an echo of his words from yesterday morning, the same words he'd used to comfort Kono after she'd been left disappointed and in tears. The words flow over her again now, leaving her feeling flustered and feeling _special_; they warm her from the inside out and make her feel fluttery and breathless under the harsh lights of their impersonal work headquarters.

But not so impersonal at all. This is where he'd assured her that she was part of a family, that he would always come for her. If you'd asked her after the undercover assignment, the memory of that promise had left her doubtful. She had wondered how she could let go of that anger. But now, the words of his promise soothe her; they remind her of his loyalty and all the times he has come for her, all the times he has supported her, instead of the one time in comparison when he'd let her down. The words remind her that she's not a waste, not of time or training or care, and the emotion with which they're delivered by Steve settles over Kono, startling her from the lie she's spinning for her cousin.

"Uh, we should head to the bank, Boss. We don't wanna be late. Good luck with those records," Kono wishes to Chin who nods goodbye at them as they leave the office.

Steve seems lost in thought as they make their way into downtown traffic. Kono feels jittery and uncomfortable as she sneaks glances at him from the passenger seat. Should she say something? It wasn't that she meant to outright lie about them hanging out for a day, she just didn't want to tell Chin the truth about why the luau plans had to be changed. It was nothing personal about Steve. He doesn't think that, does he?

"So, what's the bank manager's name?" Steve questions, his tone cool and professional.

"Uh... Look, I didn't lie to Chin cause I didn't want to tell him we spent the day together or anything," Kono says, the words bursting out of her before she fully decides whether to say something or not. Guess her overthinking inner self has made that decision for her now.

Steve turns to look at her. "Okay," he responds, drawing out the word so it sounds more like a question than a response.

"Just saying, in case that's what you thought. I didn't want to tell him about the luau chairman telling me to stay home. He'd be pissed and probably go down there with his shotgun or something." She can actually see that vision very clearly in her head. No doubt that's exactly what would have happened. "You know how loyal he is."

"Right."

She realizes how that came out and her eyes widen in horror. "Not that I'm saying you're not loyal! I really appreciate you spending the day with me and getting my mind off things."

"It wasn't a chore, Kono." His response is terse as if he's offended by her appreciation. She doesn't get it. She's _thanking_ him. That's the nice thing to do. Why is he pouting? Men and their egos.

"Okay." This time she draws out the word in confusion at his abrupt response. "I just didn't want you to think I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to know we spent the day together." Steve stares at her as if he's wondering when she contracted Danny's condition of forming confusing as hell sentences and thinking they make perfect sense to the listener. "I mean, it's not like we did anything."

Steve raises an eyebrow at her choice of words.

"I mean, we did _something,_ obviously, but I mean, it's not like it was a date or anything, you know..." She trails off as she realizes the turn into dangerous territory her words have taken her. Oh god, when did this conversation start going horribly wrong? Probably from the moment she opened her mouth. "I mean, you know how Chin is."

"Right."

"So, that's all I wanted to say. In case that's what you thought. I don't care if he knows, I just didn't want to bring up the reason why our plans changed and watch his blood pressure sky-rocket," she finishes explaining.

"Chin has blood pressure?" he deadpans.

Kono chuckles. "Yes, believe it or not, he does. Anyway, I wanted to clarify, that's all." She stops to think about it. "I mean, we used to hang out all the time last year. It's no big deal." Sure, it was mostly with the rest of the group when Danny had Grace and planned an outing for the day, but they'd visited the shooting range together and grabbed lunch afterward. And oh, they'd run into each other at the beach a few times and surfed together, then grabbed shave ice from Kamekona's. That counts, right? Maybe they weren't alone _that_ often but that doesn't mean they can't be. It doesn't mean they're not friends. Of course they're friends. They were then and are now.

Steve nods thoughtfully. "You don't have to thank me for spending time with you, Kono. I... I _like_ spending time with you."

They look at each other, dark eyes locking with light ones, finding a moment of calm during the madness of rush hour traffic. Kono beams shyly at his compliment then looks away, feeling as if her face is burning as she feels color flare in her cheeks. What is it about his sultry gaze that makes her feel like she's eight years old again and Jake Osaki told her he thought she was the coolest girl in class and does she want to play tag with him at recess? It probably has something to do with the fact that he has his bedroom eyes turned on her before noon while they're stuck in traffic in the middle of downtown Waikiki. (She hopes he doesn't look at Danny the same way when they're driving because it might confuse people. What is she talking about, it's too late for that, people are _way_ past confused with those two.) Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Steve smile to himself as his eyes return to the road, as if proud of successfully making her blush.

"Right. Well, thanks. I mean, for saying that, not for spending the day with me." Steve nods, still smiling. "In fact, you should be thanking _me_ cause I'm pretty kickass so you're lucky I was free that day," she teases, her confidence back in place after a pretty compliment from a pretty boy had her feeling giddy for thirty seconds. But no more than that. She is Kono Kalakaua, after all, and she doesn't blush and stammer like an innocent schoolgirl for long.

"That you are," he chuckles in agreement. "Told you the view would be worth it."

"It was! I hadn't visited in years. Except my legs are so sore," she complains, stretching them out from under the seat. "It's been a while since I hiked."

She almost misses the quick, appreciative glance he gives her long legs. _Almost._ She didn't graduate from the police academy with honors for nothing. "Sorry. We probably should have taken one of the shorter trails to start with."

"No, no, it was worth it," she assures him. "I'll have to take a few days off surfing but it was an awesome hike."

"We'll have to do it again sometime," he says casually. Almost _too_ casually, as if he's wondering how she'll take him mentioning plans for the future together, for _their_ future.

They pull into the bank parking lot as Kono restrains an amused grin at the oh so obvious way Steve deliberately slipped the comment into conversation. "Yeah, okay," she replies, playing it calm and cool as if she's not at all eager to see what he has planned and where this is headed and how long it'll take them to get there. She sees his hands on the wheel relax their grip at her words as if he'd been waiting anxiously for her reaction.

He turns off the engine after he parks and turns to look at her. "So, it's a date?" His smile is easy and sure, like he has a journey for them in mind and she simply needs to trust him enough to follow along, because just like he'd promised her when they hiked the trail to the caves, the view after the climb would be worth it; and it had been.

The trusting part had been her biggest worry but now she finds she has no hesitation about following his lead and seeing where he'll take her, on or off the job. She's ready to see where he'll lead.

"I..." Kono's breathless for a second, torn between staring at his dimpled smile and the affection in his eyes, and the way the word _date_ had lingered in her mind long enough to give her all sorts of thoughts she had no business thinking about regarding her boss. But he's the one who brought it up, not her. He's the one using the word like it's loaded with possibility, like it's a present that could be perfect for the both of them despite it not being what they thought they wanted, but maybe it's just what they need. He's offering it to her now, his eyes open and honest, his tone clear and sincere, asking if she'll take the risk with him to accept it, to hold it with both hands even if she's scared to death she may drop it. All she needs to do is meet him halfway and to trust him _all_ the way; even after the rocky year they've had, she simply needs to give him a chance.

Kono nods, tells herself to play it casual and try not to smile so wide but she feels her mouth move on its own to grin at his inviting words. "I... Sure. It's a date," she declares.

Steve smiles so brightly at her that her breath catches and she's getting too emotional about this so she turns to unbuckle her seatbelt (only fumbles once) as she hears him get out of the car from his side.

"Back to work, Kono. Let's kick some ass and get this guy," he says before the driver's side door slams.

She gets out of the car, senses buzzing with the awareness of him at her side, feeling as if she's still a little high from an adrenaline rush like she gets after a really perfect wave, the feeling that has her grinning on the inside all day long. All she's really done was maybe possibly admit she's attracted to her boss and maybe they'll possibly go out on a date in the future or maybe not. Too many feelings to worry about deciphering for now and Kono's never been one for deep introspection.

Plus, like Steve said, they've got to look for some prince of a guy who put a hit on his wife to pay off some loan sharks. Let's worry about that first.

"Right behind you, Boss."

"Good. Couldn't ask for better back-up." The pride and trust in his voice makes her heart swell and the look he's sending her makes his bedroom eyes seem almost innocent. She feels the thrill of anticipation run up her spine.

"Hey, that's my line."

"We can share it," he replies with a wink.

Kono can't stop smiling the entire elevator ride up to the 10th floor.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note:** Thanks again to those who are commenting, I love hearing from you. Hope everyone has a wonderful start to their week!

* * *

She's settled in front of the TV with Ramen noodles and a _Gilmore Girls_ marathon when her phone rings. She sees Steve's name and debates whether to answer because she only just got home and the last thing she wants is to run around the island again and solve another murder. But her conscience kicks in, and even if she was a little late, she answers the second time he calls.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kono. Where are you?"

"Home." After you finally let us leave an hour ago, she mentally adds. Sometimes Steve gets so focused on solving a case that he forgets the sun's gone down until Danny reminds him.

"Why didn't you pick up the first time?" he questions.

"Uh... I was in the shower," she lies, hoping to hide the fact that she's a mean and horrible person who wants to enjoy her bowl of noodles and old school TV rather than work for truth and justice on a Wednesday night.

There's a heavy silence over the line and Kono realizes she basically gave Steve the visual of her in the shower. Oh god. _Awkward._ (Right?)

"So, I take it you don't believe in the principle of Navy showers, huh?" His voice comes out low and seductive as it purrs against her ear.

And the night's first point for flirting goes to him. Game on.

She swallows audibly, and forces herself to keep the image of showers or naked, slippery bodies or water or rain or Brita filters or anything that involves H20 out of her head. Easier said than done.

"What do you need?" she asks quickly. She'd have a snappy comeback but she just got home, okay? And she was just getting into the episode so it's the TV that's made her brain a little slow in reaction time. They say it stunts your growth.

There's a knock on the door and she mutters "one second," then finds Steve on her doorstep, phone to his ear, looking her up and down.

"Hey." He greets her with an easy smile and a sultry gaze.

"Um... Hi," she responds, a little confused. She ends the call and tosses her phone on the couch since it's useless now that he's in her living room, sitting on her couch. "What are you doing here? Please don't tell me we have another case."

He shakes his head. "Thought you were in the shower," he says with a slightly dirty look that leaves her speechless and scrambling for thoughts.

(Another flirting point for him. Damn his bedroom eyes.)

"Nope." She slides into her spot next to him as she turns off the television, aware of the way their arms brush, the way he gazes at her toned legs as she folds them under herself, the way his eyes trace the curve of her collarbone. "What do you want?"

"What are you eating?" He looks at her soggy noodles.

"Dinner."

"Ramen?"

She shrugs. "It's about all I can cook. And it's cheap."

"What are you, twenty, and broke?" he asks in amusement of her eating habits.

"Well, someone did tell me I look good for my age." She beams at him, waggling her eyebrows playfully and reminding him of the compliment she'd tricked out of him from the day of the luau.

Steve rolls his eyes but keeps smiling. (Point for her. See, it helps when the TV is off.) "Come on. You need a real dinner."

"No, it's fine. I'm good," she assures him.

"Fine, I'll say the magic words." She waits as he pauses for dramatic effect then declares, "It's on me."

Kono grins. He's finally catching on. "Okay." She grabs her bowl and puts it in the fridge, then returns to the couch to reach behind him for her phone. "This is like all the times when Chin rescues me from eating TV dinners by myself."

"You think of me the same way you think of Chin?" His voice is low in her ear and she startles as she realizes she's basically draped over his side to reach for her phone.

"What? Ew. No, no. No." She finds herself repeating for emphasis, not even aware she's doing it.

(Point for him. It's not fair he gets more flirting points with that smile. It's not playing fair.)

She looks up at him, his face so close that she can see the blue of his eyes and she catches hints of teal and aquamarine mixed in. Of course his eyes would hold the colors of the ocean. Of course. It's only fitting. He's a Navy boy and she's Water Woman and they live on this beautiful island and it makes perfect sense that his eyes hold the hue of the place she feels most at home.

"Just checking," he says, his breath fanning over her cheeks. She watches his lips twitch as he gives her a wink, like he knows what she's waiting for but he's not going to give in, not yet.

(Five points to him. Seven, nine, twenty-three, sixty-seven, ninety-four. He's leading for sure and they haven't even made it to dinner yet. Damn, he's _good._)

His eyes dart to her lips, then back to her eyes, and she sees his playfulness turn into something more potent, something like lust or hunger, but before she can think of something clever to say, before she can move in, he's out of his seat and making his way to the door.

"Ready?" he asks, twirling his keys casually as if he wasn't just invading her personal space to the point where she's sure he could look deep into her pores.

Kono's left on the couch wondering if it's him or a SEAL thing to move at super speed because he was right next to her one second and now he's across the room. Maybe his natural instincts were more finely tuned through SEAL training and seminars. Do they hold seminars? Did he have to take notes on how to cut his navigation time in half? Oh gosh, she's spending too much time with Danny.

"Ready?" Steve repeats at her silence.

"Um, sure." She grabs her purse and phone, visible now that he's moved, and follows him to the car. She's feeling a little flushed and a whole lot of confused and she wonders what that was about. She felt the sparks, it was like her skin was on fire, and she could have sworn he was going to swoop in and kiss her. She was so sure of it. But nothing. Not a damn thing.

That's okay. Maybe next time.

Kono has such a great time at dinner that she forgets to keep track of her mental flirting tally. She probably would have lost count anyway. He wins eight out of ten times they hang out and she usually gives up halfway through.

It's one game she doesn't mind losing.

* * *

They're going over some case files on a Thursday afternoon when the ringing begins. Everyone checks their cell phones then exchange glances in confusion when none of them answer. The ringing stops, then begins again.

"I think it's your office phone, Steve," Lori informs him as they turn to listen to the sound coming from the direction of Steve's office. There are landlines hooked up in all the offices but it's rare they get incoming calls on them since they use cell phones when working on a case.

"Weird," Steve comments as he gets up to answer it.

"It's probably his life insurance policy guy calling," Danny says to the group and Steve flips him off as he passes.

"Or his arms dealer," Kono throws in, playing along.

Chin smiles. "Nah, it's definitely a lawyer. He's getting sued."

Everyone laughs at that one.

Steve returns looking unusually somber.

"So how much did your policy get jacked up after the car chase last week?" Danny asks.

Steve ignores him and turns to Kono. "Kono, that was Fryer. He wants to see you down at HPD."

There's a moment of eerie silence in the room at the mention of the IA Captain's name and they all stop laughing.

"Um..." Kono begins, the nerves churning already. She can't help it. Fryer brings back unwanted memories of being involved in drug deals with slimy ex-cops and being cuffed and thrown into interrogation. Times she'd rather forget. "Okay. About what?"

"Undercover stuff," Steve says, his arms crossed across his chest as he stares at her. Does he think she knows what this is about? She's as surprised by the call as he is. She hasn't talked to Fryer since after the bank shootout when she went to HPD to fill out the last of the paperwork and transfer back to 5-0.

"Okay," she repeats and returns her focus to the files in front of her, wishing the others would start talking again instead of watching her as if she's going to start screaming and throwing chairs across the room. No mental breakdown for her, thank you very much. She already passed her psych eval.

"Now," Steve informs her.

"Wait, what?" She looks back at him. "Right now?"

"Yeah. That's what he said."

Kono contains her annoyance at being disturbed on a perfectly good afternoon and rises from her chair, ignoring the way they're all looking at her from around the table. She catches Danny and Lori's curious stares, and Chin's face is anxious as he frowns at the news of the phone call.

"You want me to come with you, Kono?" he calls after her as she heads to her office to get her bag and keys, all traces of earlier laughter gone from his voice.

"I'll be fine, cuz." She hands him her stack of files and they exchange silent smiles. She sends up a blessing of thanks that she has this wonderful and loyal man in her life who kept a hold on her even when she was struggling to let go. But for seeing Fryer again, she's a big girl, she can handle this like she's handled everything else thrown her way. She can't have someone holding her hand every time she runs into the guy.

Her teammates keep their eyes locked on her as she makes her way to the door. If they're waiting for some sort of explanation, she doesn't have one to give them. Great. This is not awkward at all.

"Well, you kids get back to work now," Kono says, trying to lighten the mood as she tosses them a smile. "You're on the clock." Steve's staring at her somberly, his eyes intense as if trying to read her mind, and Chin looks worried. Danny at least catches on to her lame attempt.

"Be sure to punch that guy in the face from me," he says with a grin. The comment successfully breaks the tension in the room and they all laugh. You can always count on Danny.

"From me too," Chin adds over the laughter. "It was not fair that Steve got to be the only one."

Kono turns to look at Steve who's standing next to her at the doorway, staring at her thoughtfully. He shrugs his shoulders in pretend innocence at the mention of the punch he'd thrown outside the bank.

"Yeah, I mean..." she begins, "I know it was wrong and all, and you need help, Boss, but that was pretty awesome." Steve grins proudly at her praise, his dimples showing.

"Good luck," Lori wishes her kindly with a wave.

"Call me later, Kalakaua," Danny tells her with a warm smile.

Kono exchanges a silent nod with Chin from across the room and bids goodbye to the others as she steps into the hallway, her thoughts clouding her mind. She's filled with dread at having to see Fryer but reminds herself that he has nothing on her anymore, that she does not work for him, she does not-

"Kono, hey, wait up!"

She's halfway down the stairs when she hears Steve calling her name. She turns and looks up as he jogs down the hall to join her on the steps.

"What's up? Did he call back?"

"What? No. I just... if you need anything, let me know." She stares at him blankly. "If there's anything I can do, I mean, with Fryer." He waves his hand at her like he's fumbling for the right words but he hopes she'll understand.

"I... Thanks, Boss. I'll call if I need anything. I'm sure it's nothing." Kono can't tell if she's reassuring him or herself. Steve only nods grimly, obviously not trusting Fryer and his methods.

"Yeah. Be careful."

"I will. Thanks." She gives him a smile as she walks out of the building, and sees him standing at the glass doors watching her drive away.

When she enters Fryer's office, she's relieved that all he wanted was for her to identify some suspects from a database of offenders and go into more detail on one of her statements.

"Any of these guys look familiar, Kono? Were any of them at the drug deal?" Fryer asks for the tenth time that hour as she flips through a binder of mugshots.

"No. None of them do."

"You sure? We really need this guy pinned to one of the deals for a stronger case." He's pacing in frustration as he turns to Kono again. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she says, not able to keep the annoyance out of her voice. It's almost seven and she wants to leave already. Her stomach is growling from hunger, and flipping through the same binder another dozen times is not going to change the faces or make new photos magically appear.

"Fine." Fryer sighs as he takes his seat. "Well, hopefully with the details you gave us on the meet at the harbor, we can add a few more offenses to the two guys we caught this week."

"That's good."

"If we book anyone else though, I'll e-mail you photos for identification. We still haven't caught anyone in connection to the coke ring on the East side and I want to focus on that region."

"Okay, that's fine."

Fryer finally seems to look up from the mountain of paperwork on his desk and take a good look at her for the first time that afternoon. "How you doin', Kono? Everything good?"

"Yes, sir."

"Done with the psych appointments?"

"Yes."

"Good, good. I know McGarrett was worried about you being out in the field so soon but seems like you bounced back fine." Kono neither confirms nor denies this. "Well, that's good. Good. I never doubted it," he brags arrogantly. "I will say though, I'm sorry for how I got you involved, but it was worth it in the end."

Kono simply nods. "What happened to Delano?" She's been curious and she can't resist asking.

Fryer seems to study her carefully before answering. "He was in the hospital for two weeks but been in holding since. You know we'll need your testimony for the trial, right?" She nods. "Yeah, I'll keep you updated."

Kono sighs. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," he says, dismissing her with a wave of his hand. "You take care of yourself, Officer."

Kono's relieved to be out in the fresh air as she walks to her car. His office carries the stench of chewing tobacco and old paperwork. She's gotten used to how paper-friendly all the technology has made 5-0 headquarters. They never get buried in paperwork, thank goodness.

"Hey! Kono!"

She turns to see Charlie Fong exiting the building and approaching her with a bright smile.

"Hey, Charlie. What's up?"

"Nothing much," he answers. "Dropping by some evidence results about a car bomb that went off this morning. You here about a case?"

"I didn't hear about the car bomb yet. Was anybody hurt?" she asks quickly, making a mental note to watch the evening news tonight.

"No, thank God, but it's like the third one this month so they need to catch the idiot."

"Oh yeah, I remember hearing about those. I just had some paperwork to fill out," she answers vaguely. Thankfully, he doesn't pry. "Took forever though. I'm starving."

"You wanna grab dinner?" he suggests. She almost says yes then pauses because she doesn't want to give him the wrong impression that this is a date. He's a great guy but she doesn't feel interested that way, and last thing she wants is to lead him on or hurt him. He deserves better than that.

"I... I'm not really up for dating right now, Charlie," she begins, awkwardly playing with her keys and avoiding his gaze. "I think you're awesome but I think maybe-"

"You're not interested," Charlie finishes for her. She looks up at him, worried about what to say next or how he'll look and if she may have lost a friend, but he's smiling kindly at her. He shrugs. "Hey, it's cool. I get it, you're not feeling it. It's okay."

Kono nods in relief. Okay, that was easy. See, she knows Charlie's such a great guy. Honestly, she _wishes_ there was a spark. This is the way her life goes. Cute, smart, wonderful guy from her past who has a thing for her, is ready and available, and she don't feel a thing; super attractive Navy SEAL with control issues mixed with daddy issues, in a position of authority as her boss, suggests they maybe go out sometime and her heart rate quickens.

Yup. That explains her pattern of inappropriate taste in men.

"Plus, good thing we didn't get too hot and heavy cause once you found out how I can no longer hold my own on a surfboard, you'd dump me so fast, my head would be spinning," he teases.

"Aw, Charlie, I wouldn't do that," she assures him with a grin, feeling much better about the afternoon. "Wait. How bad are you?"

"Pretty bad." He has the decency to look ashamed as she narrows her eyes at him.

"You used to be pretty good! Nowhere near as good as me, of course," she brags and Charlie rolls his eyes in amusement, "but you were good. What happened?"

"My brother got me into windsurfing and that's all I've been doing for years now. I love it!"

"You traitor! I can't believe you." She shakes her head in disappointment. "I always knew that brother of yours was an idiot. What's he up to now?"

"Hot shot lawyer in New York." Kono whistles. "My mom didn't want him to go but he wants to be on Wall Street so she had no choice."

"That's cool."

"Well, dinner?" He reminds her. "Honestly, I was planning on meeting some people for drinks. Kelly'll be there and Noah and Abby. You know them, right? I think you and Noah were in the same year at the academy."

"Yeah, we were," she nods, feeling better about the dinner offer. After getting over the awkward but necessary conversation with Charlie, she wouldn't have minded spending time with him alone as friends but seeing some familiar faces would be nice too. "Abby was a few years ahead of us."

"We're meeting at that new restaurant in Ridgeman's Plaza. You know it?"

"Yeah, passed it a few times." With her busy schedule, she had never managed to get in.

"Cool, I'll see you in a few," Charlie replies with a friendly smile.

She follows in her own car and actually ends up having a great time at dinner. With the hours she works and always getting called in when there's a high priority case, even on the weekends, it's hard to make definitive plans. Drinking with Kelly is always amusing and Noah seems impressed by what he's heard around the station from her time spent undercover. He also makes some colorful remarks about Fryer that they all drink to. She knew she liked Noah for a reason.

The music in the restaurant and the chatter of her friends has her lulled into a light buzz; well, and she'll admit she drank too quickly on an empty stomach when the waiter was taking forever to bring out their orders. She's almost asleep with her head on Kelly's shoulder before anyone notices.

"Whoa, we've got someone tipsy here!" Abby calls from across the table.

What an eye. She'll make detective for sure.

Kono rolls her eyes. "No, I'm not. Just sleepy," she murmurs, trying to burrow further into Kelly's shoulder.

"I'd say a little of both, sweetheart." Kelly pushes her hair back from her forehead. "Long day?" Kono nods. "No wonder you're a walking zombie and sleep until like, three on your days off. You guys work way too hard over there at 5-0."

"Crime doesn't sleep, Kells," she murmurs sleepily.

"Okay, let's get her home," Abby says, standing up. Every group has that responsible mother hen who makes sure the kids gets home safe, right? "Kelly, get her keys."

"What? No, I'm fine." Kono sits up too quickly and blinks at them, trying to stifle a yawn. She fails and Kelly laughs at her. "Okay, fine, I'd love a ride."

"It's cool," Kelly assures her. "Abby picked me up so I'll take your car home. Call me when you need it tomorrow. I'm free all day so I'll be up." Kono gives her a questioning glance which she understands and explains, "I don't work Fridays anymore."

"Bitch," Kono calls her and everyone laughs. "It's Charlie's fault for inviting me and then plying me with liquor."

"Hey, I told you the food was on its way but you didn't listen!"

"I'll give you a ride," Noah offers. "It's on my way."

"Thanks, Noah." She says her goodbyes to the group, giving Charlie an extra long hug as they exchange secret smiles, glad there's no awkwardness in their easy friendship.

She nearly falls asleep again on the ride home and Noah pokes her awake when he pulls into her driveway.

"I thought you used to be able to hold your liquor, Kono," he teases as he helps her out of the car and walks her to the door.

"I can," she says defensively. Great, she has one slow week and now everyone is going to think she's a lightweight. There goes her reputation. "Next time, I'll drink you under the table, wait and see."

He laughs. "Sounds good to me."

Just as they reach her front step, he stops walking so abruptly that she runs into him. That wakes her up. She peers over his shoulder to see Steve sitting on the steps.

"Uh, hi, Commander McGarrett," Noah stammers in surprise.

"Hi," Steve says slowly, looking like he has absolutely no idea who this guy is.

"Steve? What are you doing here?" Kono questions, squinting at him in the dark.

"Are you drunk?" He stands up to look at her more clearly.

"No!" she repeats. But he's towering over her and Noah, staring at her like she's broken curfew with her boyfriend and is sneaking back into the house at 2AM. It's barely ten! She finally rolls her eyes. "A little tipsy," she admits and hears Noah chuckle. She gives him a dirty look. "It's only cause I'm tired, jeez."

It's cold outside, the night air giving her goosebumps on her bare arms so she unlocks the door and they follow her in. She turns to both men, wondering how to get rid of them, and if there's a way she can manage to get tomorrow off so she can sleep all day like Kelly gets to.

"Okay, Noah, thanks for the ride," she says to him first.

"Sure," he nods, but glances toward Steve. "Uh, you sure you don't want me to stay?"

Kono sees Steve open his mouth and hurries to speak faster to avoid any possible confrontation. "No, no, I'm fine. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Sleep it off, Kalakaua." With one last smile for her and a respectful nod towards Steve, Noah leaves them standing awkwardly in her living room listening to the fading sound of his car driving away.

Suddenly she realizes that maybe she should have had Noah stay and gotten rid of Steve first so he wouldn't think she's sleeping with her boss. _Shit._ What else would he think when he sees her boss waiting at her front door outside the normal hours of the workday? The wine must have impaired her judgment more than she realized. Too late now. Noah's not a gossip, but she knows he'll be giving her curious looks the next time they run into each other, even if he's not brave enough to ask outright.

"How does he know me?" Steve wonders out loud.

"Everyone knows you," Kono snorts. "You run 5-0 and you do crazy shit every other week." Steve doesn't seem to think that explanation is good enough and waits for her next answer. "Noah works at HPD." She curls into her favorite corner of the couch and looks up at him. "What's up? Did I forget something at work?"

Steve stares at her as if _she's_ the one who surprised him with a late night visit at his doorstep. "Fryer," he reminds her, his voice coming out with an edge to it. "What happened?"

She's wide awake at the mention of the name and recalls the events of the afternoon. "Oh, yeah. Did I not text you? I thought I wrote to Danny and Chin. But my phone died during dinner."

"No, you did not," he says tersely.

"Sorry. It was nothing. He wanted me to go over some mugshots and remind me that I'll be expected to testify at Delano's trial."

Steve nods, takes a seat on the couch. "Oh, okay. That's good."

Kono stares at his obvious relief. "Is that why you came over?" He doesn't answer. "I'm sorry. I should have called you or something."

"It's fine," he says, brushing off her apology but sure sounding like it's _not_ fine. Or maybe it's her impaired judgment again? But he sure _sounds_ pissed. But don't they say people have trouble figuring out tone and body language when they've been drinking? Maybe. Whatever.

"Have you been waiting long?" He shakes his head. "Sorry. I ran into Charlie and he invited me to dinner with some friends."

"That's great."

"Yeah."

"Great," he repeats.

She really does like hanging out with Steve but there's nothing she wants now but to sleep. The wine mixed with the exhaustion of this week, plus her stress of meeting with Fryer, is catching up to her and she really wants to close her eyes and fall asleep right here on the couch.

"Um... Is there anything else I can help you with, Boss?" she asks awkwardly, hoping it doesn't sound like she's actually saying _Can you leave now? I'm really tired and I'm wondering why you're still here._

She's pretty sure that's what it comes out as despite her best effort (but let's be honest here, she's half inebriated and half asleep) because Steve gets up from his seat immediately, as if offended. But he's Steve. He doesn't get offended over things like that. It's all a little blurry to her right now.

"Nope. I'm good. I'll leave you to it," he says curtly as he heads for the door.

"Thanks. Can you lock up behind you, please?" she asks as she snuggles deeper into the sofa cushions.

"Sure." Steve pauses in the doorway looking like he has something more he wants to say. She looks at him through sleepy eyes, waiting for him to speak.

"Yes?" she asks curiously, trying to keep her eyes open and appear interested.

"Nothing," he finally answers. "Don't be late tomorrow."

It might be her imagination but he seems to slam the door harder than necessary on his way out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Didn't mean to forget about updating this story! I was working on a Steve/Kono story for s3 since there's been basically _nothing_ on the show this season to work with. I can't decide if that's better or worse than the mess from last season... either way, it stinks! The story's titled "It Started with a Whisper" so do check that out if you'd like.

Thank you again those of you who take the time to comment after reading. It means a lot, and I appreciate your words more than you know.

* * *

Everything is back to normal with Steve.

And that's exactly what she doesn't understand.

Kono's been waiting for him to say something, make a move, ask her out, say something about their status or non-status or whatever this is, or even ask her to spend time together as friends like they have been doing the past few months. But he's treating her like before. He's friendly and courteous and perfectly civil, yes, everything is fine and dandy and normal and _just_ like before.

She didn't want to go back to _before._ She liked where they were now and she wanted to know where they were headed.

There are no more flirty glances shared at the coffee machine in the morning, and no personal conversations if they happen to be alone in the office or riding together. There's mostly a lot of awkward silence and she ends up fiddling with the radio stations and staring out the window. There's no mention of making plans to spend time together after work.

It's almost like... he's simply her boss.

What even?!

She doesn't get it. It's not like they were even in a relationship for her to ruin it already.

Truth is, she'd gotten used to seeing Steve as more than her boss. She'd started to see him as a friend, as maybe someone more than that one day.

He'd stop by after work and they'd go out for dinner, and they went surfing once and scuba diving and went on another hike the week before that. It wasn't like they had made it to first base or anything, or even stepped _onto_ the field, but heated glances were constantly exchanged and their hands seemed to linger whenever they innocently touched. Kono could feel the sparks; the moment was coming, she knew that much. From the look in his eyes, it was only a matter of time before he made a move.

She found herself waiting for that moment. It felt like she was humming in anticipation because she finally decided to be honest with herself - she wanted this. She was ready to take a chance with him when the time came because life was too short to pass on someone who made you made you smile, who made you laugh, who made you think, who made you feel so _alive_. If this job has taught her anything, if being in the crosshairs allowed her to gain any wisdom, it's that you never know when your time will end so you should enjoy every minute you have, with the people you have. And she intended to do that with Steve.

Except he seems to have forgotten all about her.

Okay, that's not fair. She still sees him for a good ten hours every weekday, more if they get a new case. The team still has celebratory beers in the office after closing a case. He still talks to her... mostly about suspects and bank records and warrants and DNA matches, but that counts as conversation, right?

She doesn't get it at all.

Maybe he's backed off because he's doesn't want to pursue this anymore. That's a perfectly valid reason. Maybe it's not something he wants to get roped into and it'd be messy if they break up. (When, _when_ they break up, because this is not a forever sort of thing, not at all... right?) It's fine if it was all merely some feelings that came up after her time undercover. He probably just felt protective and wanted to watch over her, then it got messy and he needed a breather and now wanted to bow out. Okay. That's fine. She can deal with that.

A few times at work, she feels as though he's staring at her when she's not looking. One time, she looked up from the plasma screen to find his eyes on her, deep and intense and with such longing that she lost her trail of thought and Danny had to snap to get her attention. (Yes, _snap._ It was so embarrassing.) But when she looked back at him, he was focused on his notes, and she would have thought she'd imagined the whole thing if it wasn't for the way her heart had started racing when they'd locked eyes. She thought she recognized the same feelings in them, the hope and the regret, that she herself has been feeling.

When they're on the phone, there's a pause right before he hangs up where it seems as if he's bursting to say something. She waits patiently, hoping silently to herself, but is disappointed when he only says goodbye or thanks her for the information or barks another order at her. Maybe she's reading too much into things? That could be it.

Kono can't help but feel a little disappointed at the "what could have been." When did she turn so sappy, she has no idea, but she's wistful that the opportunity of being with him is gone before it could even begin. Despite the hurt from being undercover, she realizes that Steve is a good guy. He's a _great_ guy, actually, one of the best men she knows, and it feels like she was only beginning to learn the many layers of him even after knowing him for more than two years.

It's a shame she won't get to know him more. It makes her heart ache a little to think she will never know what they could have been together.

She'll get over it. She always does.

But she keeps hoping he'll call.

* * *

"Okay, those two are nauseatingly cute together," Danny proclaims.

"I know!" Kono giggles.

"No offense, but I don't think I've ever seen your cousin smile so much. It was starting to worry me."

"Trust me, I'm a little creeped out by it too, brah."

They'd just left Chin's house where he and Malia had invited the team for lunch. It was a great chance for the rest of them to meet Chin's fiancé. They were impressed. Steve had three helpings of her chicken salad and Danny gave her points for how well she could keep up in their game of flag football. And no one could ignore Chin's smiling face.

Kono loved seeing her cousin so happy and she was grateful to have Malia back in her life too. They had been very close which was one of the reasons why Kono had become so angry when the older woman vanished from her life. Once Chin told her the truth about how things with Malia had really ended, Kono had no choice but to realize she'd misjudged Malia and apologize. Yet again, she had to marvel at how selfless and kind her cousin was with the people he cared about. He was a man in a league of his own and she was so blessed he was in her life.

Unfortunately for her right now, his benevolent nature didn't include giving her a ride home after lunch.

Well, she didn't say he was perfect. Every man has his flaws.

She'd dropped her car off to be cleaned so Chin had picked her up in the morning (well, around noon after a dozen missed calls to finally get her out of bed). Lori had to leave early, and Chin had looked so adorable when he offered to help Malia with the dishes that she didn't want to drag him away so Danny offered her a ride.

He didn't mention his ride was Steve.

Great.

"Too bad Grace couldn't come," Kono says. She always loves seeing the little girl who adores her in return.

"Yeah, she was bummed about it but she had a birthday party she promised go to from before. She's met Malia though. We ran into them at Kamekona's one day and she asked her how many people she's cut open in surgery." Danny smiles proudly at the memory.

"Where's your car?" she asks from the backseat.

"In the shop. Mr. SEAL here popped a headlight in last week's suspect pursuit."

"It was barely a scratch, Danny," Steve says, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, that's why there was glass everywhere. Whatever, I don't even want to hear excuses anymore because you're paying for it."

"Actually, the state of Hawaii via the Governor's office is paying for it," Steve clarifies.

"Even better!" Danny exclaims. "You can be the man who further ruins the economy by using all the state funding to fix my car. What a legacy you'll be leaving behind, Steven. As long as you drive me to pick it up tomorrow cause I'm taking Gabby out to dinner."

"Ooh, Gabby!" Kono teases, her voice high-pitched. "How is your hot museum scientist lady friend doing?"

"Do you really need to use five words to describe her?" Danny expresses in confusion. "She has a name. It'd save you some time."

"Yes, I do," Kono declares stubbornly. "That's half the fun! So, how is she?"

"Fine. And she's not a scientist, she's a museum curator, there's a big difference."

"Not really," Steve interjects. "She knows lots of stuff about old stuff."

"Aw, it's okay if she's a nerd," Kono assures Danny with a playful glint in her eye. "As long as you're happy, we're happy for you."

"She is not a nerd, thank you very much." Steve and Kono both look at him. "Okay, well, maybe she is," he admits with an eye roll, "but she's an adorable one. And look who's talking, Kono."

She stares at him. "I don't get it. I work with you."

"What? No." Danny shakes his head at her confusion as if everyone should always be following his brilliant line of logic to understand his jokes the first time around. "You and Charlie Fong."

Kono groans. "Just drop it already, Danny. There's nothing going on between me and Charlie."

"Oh, so you can dish it but you can't take it? Jump his bones already, Kalakaua," he says with a wink.

"How eloquent." He shrugs. "But no, thank you. Workplace stuff is messy and I am not getting involved."

"Whatever. Can you at least ask him to stop drooling every time we go in there cause it's getting a little awkward."

Kono laughs and pulls her phone out. "Okay, I'll tell him," she says as she sends Charlie a text, her fingers flying over the keypad.

"Wait. Right now?" Danny says in honest surprise and even Steve turns to look back at her. "Okay, that's good too."

"Let's see... He says..." Kono waits for her phone to chirp with an incoming text. "And I quote: 'screw him and his stupid hair'."

Steve snorts from the driver's seat.

"Okay, I take it back," Danny says. "Charlie's an ass. You can do better."

Kono laughs at him, enjoying the banter even if she's stuck in a car with a nearly silent Steve who has barely made eye-contact with her. It felt like he was avoiding her at lunch too. At least Danny's presence acted as a buffer. He can be heard over any awkward tension.

She's done trying to figure out and analyze everything with Steve. He doesn't want to do this, that's fine, that's his right. She'll move on. She was doing perfectly fine before the butterflies with Steve's name on them started fluttering and she will be fine again. It was probably a stirring of feelings after the undercover op that popped up because of stress and guilt and life-changing situations, and he's making the smart decision to just ignore them and move on.

Less fun, yes, but the wise choice indeed.

Danny seems to finally notice Steve's sullen silence. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Steve answers, staring at the road in front of him.

"You sure? You're being quiet. More quiet than usual."

"I'm fine." Kono may have imagined seeing his eyes flicker to her in the rearview mirror.

"Are you feeling okay? Did you eat enough?"

"I ate fine."

"Did you eat too much? Cause indigestion is nothing to joke about, my friend."

"God, Danno, I don't have indigestion. What are you, my 24/7 on call nurse?" Steve asks him, hands flying off the wheel.

"Your nurse? Do I look like a nurse to you? Not that there's anything wrong with the profession, mind you." He looks to Kono as if waiting for her agreement on the nursing career, but she remains silent. "I was asking as a friend. I apologize. I will not make the mistake of caring about your health again."

"Good," Steve snaps.

"I won't. It will not happen again. Not even if you're being tortured in North Korea, I won't even ask how you're feeling."

"Yeah, cause I'm planning to visit North Korea real soon." Steve rolls his eyes. Seriously, some of the stuff Danny comes up with.

"I don't know where someone like you would vacation, Steven. It's not like you'd be smart enough to visit a normal, safe, fun vacation spot, like, oh, say, Jersey."

Kono sits quietly, refusing to comment on Korea or Jersey or any other vacation spot. But Danny's a detective, a good one at that, and seems to pick up the unspoken tension between the other two people in the car.

"What's with you two?" he asks, waving a finger between them.

"Who?" Kono asks, playing dumb while Steve remains silent, his jaw clenched, his eyes on the road.

"You and him." Again with the finger pointing. "You're not doing your usual witty, flirty banter thing."

"We do not flirt," Kono defends herself, her mind betraying her with thoughts of longing looks and yearning glances and mental flirting tallies she kept track of in her head during dinners and movies and hikes and afternoons on the beach. So much for that.

Danny scoffs. "Uh, yes, you do. It's disgusting. Two reasonably attractive people should not be allowed to make goo-goo eyes at work all day like you two do."

"You think Steve's attractive?" Kono jumps on the comment with glee and even Steve grins as she leans forward to tease Danny.

Danny rolls his eyes. "I said 'reasonably attractive,' and actually, no, I don't, he's definitely the ugly one in the pair. Good thing you have an okay face to balance him out."

"Aw, thanks, Danny," she replies sweetly.

"Yeah, thanks, Danny," Steve says sarcastically.

"Your kids will thank you, Kono," Danny comments.

"What kids?!" Kono sputters and Steve does a double-take.

"But I'm getting ahead of myself," Danny replies, speaking calmly as if he has this all planned out in his head and they're messing with his schedule. He probably does. He's interfering like that. "Seriously. What's going on?"

There's a pause where Steve and Kono both wait for the other to say something first. Steve clears his throat but remains silent, so Kono decides to be the responsible one and mutters "nothing," under her breath.

Danny rolls his eyes. "Yeah, like that silence wasn't suspicious at all. What happened? I thought you two were good." Silence echoes loudly as neither speaks. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"Danny, we're not twelve, we don't need peer mediation," Kono grumbles. She hates being put on the spot. Why isn't Steve driving any faster? Her getting out of this car and, more importantly, this _conversation_ is as critical as the high speed car chases he likes to take part in.

"No, I want to help. What's going on?" Again, silence hovers in the air as Danny glances back and forth between them. "Is this about your time undercover and us being jackasses?" Kono glances at him in surprise at the topic change. "Because I thought he apologized about that. He was agonizing over it but he said you guys talked and-"

"Shut up, Danny," Steve growls at him.

"No, no," she assures Danny, and Steve, and maybe even herself. "It's not about that." She doesn't think it is at least. They had been fine after he apologized and she's not swallowed by the anger from months ago. She doesn't even think about it anymore. Whatever this is now, the distance they're battling, it isn't about that and she won't be petty enough to go to the past for a fallback excuse.

It's not a big deal, honestly. They still work together, they're still friends, she can still count on him and trust him. He still has her back and that's enough. Just because he doesn't want to have dinner with her anymore or go surfing on the weekends doesn't mean she has to feel heartbroken over the space he's left in her life.

It's his loss, she tells herself as she stares out the window, counting the blocks left to her house. Three, two... Finally it's her street...

Danny remains quiet as they pull into her driveway. He doesn't seem to know what more to say since the two have not been cooperative about sharing information.

"Thanks for the ride, guys," she says as she gets out of the car.

"Hey, hey," Danny calls out to her and she bends down to the passenger side window. Her eyes meet Steve's and he gives her a quick nod and she gives him a small, sad smile in return. She doesn't understand what they're nodding and smiling about; it feels so formal and she misses the weeks where she felt so comfortable with him, sharing a meal, working out, joking around on the couch over paperwork. But if things are going to go back to normal, if they're just going to be friends like they were, then that's fine with her. She simply needs to tell her heart to calm down and return to its platonic feelings phase towards Steve. She's working on that; the project is a work in progress.

"We were gonna pick Grace up and go for some ice cream, you wanna come?" Danny asks her, as she looks away from Steve's eyes and into Danny's kind, smiling eyes.

She almost gives in because she would love to hang out with the boys and Grace (and ice cream, duh) but she doesn't want to battle the tension between her and Steve for the rest of the night. If he wants to take some personal space from her, that's fine; they'll fall back into their old rhythm in due time. She doesn't want to put him on edge because he should be able to enjoy his time with Grace too.

"Yeah, you should come," Steve says after a moment. But his voice sounds hollow as he avoids her gaze, and the last thing Kono wants is to force him to spend time with her when all he wants is some space. She waits for him to say it's his treat to make her smile and bridge the gap between them, but he doesn't say the words she's waiting to hear, so she stops waiting.

Kono sighs to herself and toughens her heart, then turns to Danny to answer. "No, it's cool. You guys enjoy yourselves."

"You sure?" Danny questions, his eyes concerned.

"Yeah, it's fine, I have stuff to do anyway," she lies lamely as she gives them a wave and heads for the front door. "See ya Monday."

"Unless crazy shit happens before then," Danny reminds her, his usual add-on to when they say "Monday" because they never know when they'll get called in if something happens on this island and the Governor needs 5-0 to the rescue. Weekends are never guaranteed.

"Unless crazy shit happens," she repeats with a grin.

Kono watches them drive off, wishing she was still in the backseat and on her way to get a great big hug from an adorable little girl who thinks she walks on water, _literally._

She makes herself some mac and cheese and settles down with TV re-runs for company. She finds herself craving ice cream for dessert but her freezer's empty.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Thanks again to those who have been commenting along the way! Only one more chapter left after this, I hope you've joined the ride and this lives up to your expectations.

* * *

The morning breeze is cooler than usual. As an island native and honorary creature of the sea, Kono knows this means stormy weather is ahead. After her surf, she changes into dry clothes before settling down on her beach towel to watch the sun rise. The sky is littered with gray clouds and the customary clear blue is more of a dark azure; it's going to rain soon, and rain hard. Maybe they'll finally get a reprieve from the heat wave.

She feels the hair on the back of her neck stand and turns to see him jogging toward her from the other side of the beach. Kono wonders if she should wave or if he'll stop to say hi, then decides screw it; she promised herself strawberry and mango salad once she finished surfing and she's not waiting any longer to debate how to handle her boss who she was on the verge of getting hot and heavy with before it came to a screeching and icy halt. It's too early on a Sunday morning for such deep thinking. And, yes, sometimes she needs a sweet and fruity bribe to make sure she wakes up when she sets her alarm and not at noon. It's a system that's proven to work.

She watches out of the corner of her eye as Steve jogs up to her and slows at the corner of her beach towel to run in place. She waits patiently (well, not so patiently, okay) for him to make the first move.

"Hey."

Brilliant.

"Hey, Boss," she says, finally looking up at him. He's in shorts and his wifebeater is drenched with sweat in all the right places. His tattoos are glistening, the ink a stark contrast with the white of his shirt and tanned skin, and she tries not to drool. If so, she can always blame it on the strawberries. They're just as delicious looking too. "You're out early."

"Yeah. Felt like a run."

"You want some?" She gestures toward her salad bowl but he shakes his head and she shrugs. More for her. He stands at the edge of the large beach towel, looking down at her, not daring to step onto it. "You want to sit?" He shakes his head again but doesn't move from his spot as he turns to look at the sky with her. She decides to ignore him since he doesn't seem to want the company of her conversation, and eats her fruit as she watches the sun's rays turn from a dusky pink to a vivid orange, filling the horizon in the overcast sky. There's a chill in the air despite the rising sun and Kono knows the clouds will burst with morning showers very soon.

Kono gets up, brushes the sand off her legs and sighs in delight at witnessing another magnificent island sunrise. She grumbles when she wakes up, sure, but it's worth it. The waves and the sun and the sand between her toes... it's always worth it. She pops her surfboard onto her bike rack and puts her towel and container in the basket, slides down her sunglasses and gives Steve a wave goodbye.

"Well, see ya, Boss."

"Hey, hold up. I'll give you a ride," Steve offers. "It's going to start pouring any second."

"It's okay. I have some time before it starts to rain," she calculates from her experience with the island and its weather. "It's not far."

"I'm parked right over in lot C." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder in the general direction. "I don't mind."

"It's fine," she repeats as she hops on her bike. She likes the ride back to her house to unwind after the strenuous exercise, and to be honest, she doesn't feel like ruining her morning by getting stuck in the tension that's developed between her and Steve the past few weeks. That would ruin the start of a perfectly good day.

"It's just a ride," he reasons, his voice coming out with a biting edge to it, catching her by surprise. She slides her sunglasses up to view him more clearly in the cloudy fog of sunshine. "What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with you?!" she snaps back.

He takes a deep breath and speaks slowly as if holding on dearly for patience and she's the one testing him. "_I'm_ being a good friend who doesn't want you to get soaked."

"Well, thanks, _friend,_" she throws back, "but I'm good. You can leave now. I don't need some pity ride cause you were on my section of the beach this morning."

"_Your_ section of the beach?" Steve scoffs at her words, then chuckles mockingly. "I didn't realize you owned the entire island, Kalakaua, forgive me." He's really made strides in his sarcasm skills after being stuck with Danny for so long.

"Oh, whatever," she says, annoyed now too. "You know this is my favorite spot to surf and you just _happened_ to be here at the same time?" He remains silent; she rejoices at her successful guess. "That's what I thought."

"I didn't know you were going to be here," he growls.

Kono rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to leave now cause you're ruining my post-sunrise glow." She turns to climb on her bike, muttering loudly, "I don't even know why you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you!" he responds angrily. Kono takes a deep breath, telling herself to make Chin proud and hold on to the zen the morning air has given her. "I'm not."

"Okay, Boss."

"And you can stop calling me 'Boss' all the time too!" Steve adds. "We're not at the office. It's stupid."

"Oh wow, I didn't realize I was offending you with my professionalism. My bad."

"Yeah, you know what, professionals, let's be that. Forget the ride," he responds, his eyes flashing and angry.

"I already had," she replies coldly.

They stare at each other, finding dark storms of emotion in each other's eyes matching the ones on the horizon. She takes a deep breath and wonders why he's acting like this. Did something happen about work that he's not sharing with the team? Did the Governor make some decision about 5-0? Something with Mary? New information on his parent's case?

Kono takes a deep breath, reaching inside her for the last bit of her morning zen to make a peace offering to a man whose favorite way to solve problems is through armed conflict. "Is everything okay? You know, with 5-0," she elaborates. "Like, did Lori say we're in trouble with the reviews or something?" He shakes his head. "Is Mary doing okay? Did you find new information on Wo Fat or something-"

"No, no." Steve cuts her off, waving his hand and dismissing her well thought out list. "I'm fine."

"Okay," she says, clearly not believing him. She debates hopping onto her bike and pedaling away then thinks why not make Chin completely proud and handle this the adult way. It's a new concept for her, facing an issue head on; avoidance is a tactic she's mastered, especially when it comes to her relationship with Steve.

After her undercover assignment ended, she got her paperwork signed and got right back to work, not wanting to pause to talk to him, to break down the walls that had been built during his absence, _because_ of his absence. Even when he tried, she didn't trust her emotions and she avoided a confrontation. The feelings had made her bitter at herself, and bitter at Steve, yet she was reluctant to explore them because that meant talking about them, that meant admitting them, and facing them.

Steve was the one who finally forced the conversation that was needed to mend their friendship. He was the one who drove to her place, who waited for her, and who began the dialogue that allowed them to take slow steps toward each other and re-build. That was his gesture, his sign of bravery, and something she will be thankful for - when pride and bitterness had overpowered her, she had been too stubborn to make the first move. It was him who approached her.

Now, it was her turn to take the first step to mend this rift.

"Look, about our whole thing..." She forces herself to continue talking despite the awkward subject matter. "We can forget about it. I'm not gonna bring it up so you don't have to act all weird and tense around me."

"What are you talking about?" he asks slowly, hands out in confusion.

She gives him a look, like, is he seriously going to make her explain this out loud? Really?

"I mean... you know," she trails off, making a random hand gesture, hoping he'll get it and stop being purposely obtuse. Apparently not. "_You know,_" she repeats more forcefully but he doesn't give any sign of understanding. "Our whole... sexual tension thing." She rolls her eyes at herself even as she says it.

For the first time since she's seen him that morning, Steve cracks a genuine smile. "Did you just say 'sexual tension'?" He uses air quotes to mock her,

She grins in turn and gives him a playful shove as he laughs at her. "Shut up! I'm serious! Listen, it's not a big deal. I get it, okay?" He turns serious again, listening to her nervous babble. "We work together, you're my boss, and I understand you were feeling guilty-"

"Guilty?" he asks, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Well, yeah." She nods. "Because of the undercover thing so all your protective boss and big brother instincts came out. And honestly, I'm over it. It's totally fine if you weren't feeling it. No need to be awkward. We can get past it now."

She thought she was saying the right things to let him off the hook but apparently they're all wrong because Steve only begins to look more and more angry.

"You're over _what_ exactly?" he asks for further clarification.

"You know, you not making a move or whatever when we'd been hanging out. I thought you were interested but if you were making up lost time for being MIA while I was suspended, fired, whatever," she corrects herself, "that's okay too. But you don't have to feel guilty about it because I already told you I forgive you. So can we forget this whole hot and cold thing and go back to normal? Not the 'hot' part normal, just the normal-normal." She sighs at herself. "Sorry. I'm rambling. But anyway, we're fine, so you can start acting normal at work again, and tell Danny, cause he and Chin keep giving me weird looks and it's starting to piss me off."

She gets on her bike, finished saying what she needed to say, but only gets a few feet before Steve jogs up to her and puts his hands on the handlebars to stop her. She tilts in one direction but quickly rights herself.

"Hey, what are you-"

"I only backed off because you wanted me to."

"What?"

He tugs at his ear in what she recognizes as one his nervous gestures when he doesn't know what to say next and needs to gather his words. "You... I backed off because you still don't trust me."

"What are you talking about?" she asks, baffled by his comment. She parks her bike to the side to give him her full concentration.

He shifts uncomfortably in front of her, digging his feet into the sand, back and forth, back and forth, before looking her in the eye. "You don't trust me. The whole Fryer thing and me fucking it up and..." he trails off, holding back emotion. "You don't trust me anymore and I can't... We can't be together if you don't completely trust me. What kind of a relationship would that be?"

Kono is so surprised at what Steve's said that she's pretty sure the light ocean breeze could knock her over right now. He backed off because of signs he got from _her?_ What does he mean she doesn't trust him? She's over the undercover assignment. That was last year. And a relationship?! A _relationship?_ She did not see that word coming, much less thought she'd hear it come out of his mouth. Yes, she was imagining them together in her head, (being intimate and doing naughty things, but also the things like eating dinner and watching bad movies) but she hadn't put a label on it; to hear him say the word out loud was an unexpected surprise, though not an unpleasant one.

But let's go back to what he's saying here. He's saying the reason she's a mix of sexually frustrated and emotionally unstable regarding him is because of _herself?_ That doesn't make any sense.

"What are you talking about?" she repeats. "I... What?"

He lets out an exasperated sigh as if she's deliberately making this difficult for him. "You still don't trust me! Okay, and that's fine, I fucked up, I get it, I know that. So maybe some space is good for us, you know? And we can just see each other at work until you-"

"When did I say I didn't trust you?" she interrupts him and he stops talking. She waits a moment to see if he has an answer but he remains silent. "Steve... I do trust you." Kono smiles at him reassuringly because the look on his face is filled with such doubt that it makes her ache to think he's been worrying over this for weeks now. All she can do is take the first step to reach out to him like he had taken toward her.

"Yes, I was hurt and mad, I won't deny that. I felt abandoned." She thinks back to those feelings, but pushes them aside because this is a beautiful Sunday morning, despite the rain clouds, and Steve is right in front of her and this is her chance to explain. "But Danny apologized, and you apologized, and I trust you. I forgive you. I know you have my back. Hey, look at me," she says when his gaze falls from her face to the ocean behind her. She waits until their eyes meet again. "We're good."

"You didn't tell me about Fryer." His words come out as an accusation, his posture tense, shoulders hunched forward as if in pain.

"What? When?" This is not one of her better mornings because every time he opens his mouth, it's making her look sound a complete idiot. How early is it again? But she really is caught off guard because she doesn't understand where he's getting this stuff from. He hadn't talked to her about any of this and now he has all these accusations? It doesn't make sense.

"Fryer. When you went to see him, you didn't tell even me about it afterwards," he reminds her. "Cause you don't trust me and I'm the one who put you in that position in the first place-" His words are coming out rushed as if he's spent too much time thinking them over and now they're spewing forth on their own.

"Okay, whoa, slow down. I didn't tell you because I forgot." Steve makes a noise to object but she puts up her hand and he quiets immediately. She'll have to remember that trick. "I really did forget. It wasn't personal. It _wasn't,_" she adds with more emphasis when she sees he clearly doesn't believe her. "If you and I keep going back to the summer for excuses about things that happen now, we're never gonna get past that. Am I right?"

"Yeah, that's true," Steve admits, running his hands through his already wind-tousled hair. "You're right."

"Good. It was an honest mistake, I swear I wasn't singling you out or anything. I ran into some friends and-"

"Yeah, Charlie Fong," Steve remarks, his voice laced with accusation as he rolls his eyes at the name. "I thought we had a thing going then you come home drunk with Moses!"

"What-" Kono starts to say but he interrupts her yet again.

"I mean, honestly, if you weren't interested, you could have told me instead of letting me make an ass of myself asking you to hang out all the time!"

"What are you even talking about?! Who is Moses?" Kono rattles her brain to try and understand then lets out a snort of laughter when it finally clicks. "You mean _Noah?_" Steve remains sullen, not acknowledging the name. "His name's Noah," she corrects him with a laugh. He rolls his eyes again, clearly not amused by her laughter. "And 'our thing'?" It's her turn to use air quotes and throw his words back at him. "What are you even talking about? We didn't do anything but hang out after work."

"Why else do you think I was coming around, Kono? I can eat dinner and surf on my own time," he professes, his tone low, a hint of impatience behind his words. "I was obviously interested."

"Well, I was waiting for you to tell me that before you started ignoring me and acting like a jackass at work!"

"Cause I thought you didn't trust me! You were the one who said workplace relationships were messy." He points a finger at her in accusation.

"When did I say that?" Her brow crinkles in confusion as she tries to recall the comment.

"In the car with Danny after lunch at Chin's two weekends ago," Steve points out quickly, leaving no room for her to argue.

Her mouth nearly drops at his recall. "Oh my god, what are you, recording my every conversation?" He doesn't deny it. "I meant that about Charlie! But I'm surprised you don't know that already considering you think you know everything I'm feeling these days!"

"I was waiting for you to talk to me! You didn't even tell me about Fryer!"

"I just told you that was an honest mistake! So you assumed that meant that I didn't want to get to know you better and drop this whole thing or something?"

"I thought that-"

"You took it upon _yourself_ to make that decision for me?" Kono argues back. She realizes they're practically yelling at each other on the beach and is grateful the storm clouds have kept people away so they don't have an audience. But the nerve of him! To accuse her of being the one who was sending mixed signals when he didn't even have the courtesy to ask how she was feeling about the whole thing.

"You said that-" Steve begins but she raises her hand and he quiets again.

"Did you even think to _ask_ me how I was feeling?" He has no reply. "Oh great," she says to herself, letting out a sarcastic chuckle. "You're smart enough to single-handedly lead the Governor's task force but you can't manage a conversation with a girl about your feelings. What am I even doing here?"

Kono tries to move past him, but he blocks her path, not letting her pass. He stares at her in determined concentration, his tone coming out forcefully as if the emphasis on each word will help her understand the reasoning behind his actions.

"I was waiting for a sign that you trusted me again, Kono," he declares. "I wanted to make sure."

"Well, maybe you should have _asked,_" she suggests dryly. "I mean, we see each other at work for like, eleven hours a day. Or, hey, send me an e-mail. Write me a text."

"I didn't know how to-"

"Or come over and have an actual conversation. You interrupted enough of my TV dinners for nothing," she fumes. So much for her post-sunrise morning zen. Whoops.

"Yeah, cause your TV dinners are so exciting." He rolls his eyes at her ridiculousness.

"Hey, I love my TV. At least it speaks to me, unlike you," she accuses.

"I was trying to be patient!" His voice rises in annoyance.

"So when you say waiting for a 'sign,' were you actually waiting for me to rent a billboard or something?"

"Oh god, you're starting to sound like Danny," Steve sighs, hanging his head in frustration.

"Hey, Danny, there's a guy who can talk about his feelings. You know what he did when he wanted to bring all this shit up from the beginning of the summer? He talked about it with me! It's a novel concept. Didn't they teach you how to communicate with women in the army, Lieutenant?" she inquires, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's the _Navy,_" he spits out.

"Whatever. Cause that distinction is real important right now. Either way, you suck at it," she sums up. "Anyway, I'm fine, you're fine, we're good, let's move on now. See you at work," Kono mutters, huffing past him to move toward her bike

"Wait." The command comes out low and demanding as Steve grabs her hand and pulls her to him. She tumbles against his chest in surprise, her hands grabbing at his shoulders for balance as his arms loop around her waist, settling there with ease as if he's made the maneuver countless times. She swallows nervously as she looks at him, their faces so close she can count each eyelash. His eyes are dark with desire as he looks down at her, the blue of them matching the stormy Hawaiian sky at the moment. His breath hits her cheeks, warm and steady, as he looks into her eyes without trepidation. She's breathless with anticipation, palms beginning to sweat, chest rising and falling as she waits for his next move.

"Now, I'm only going to ask this once. Kono, are we good?" He enunciates each word clearly as if for her benefit and if she wasn't so surprised at being in his arms, she'd be rolling her eyes.

"Y-yes," she stutters.

"Okay." He nods, his eyes moving from her heavy-lidded gaze to her lips, then back to her eyes. "I'm going to kiss you now, is that okay?"

"Um..." She licks her lips unconsciously and feels a wave of womanly power rush over her at the way Steve's eyes dart down, his mouth opening in longing, waiting for her permission before swooping in. "That's fine with me, Commander."

She sees the quick flash of his smile, then the next thing she feels is his lips coasting over hers, hovering, settling, then claiming. There's no adjustment period, there's no being gentle. He knows exactly what he wants and he's waited long enough; this is his chance to devour her and that's exactly what he does. She all but melts, wrapping her arms firmly around his neck, pulling him closer to give to the kiss as much as she's getting. Her heart's drumming so fast she worries he can hear it but as he nips at her bottom lip, dives back into her mouth, all thoughts cease and all she can hear is the lull of the ocean waves as her flip flops sink into the sand.

He lifts his head, his eyes dark with lust, breathing ragged. Her eyes are half-closed as she looks at him, forcing them open through the cloud of desire.

"Okay," she manages to say, her own breathing labored.

"Okay," he echoes, the lines of his face softening as he watches her smile. "What?" he asks, dimples showing as he hears her laughter. He doesn't know what she finds funny, but her giggling is contagious and he finds himself smiling before even knowing the joke. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," she replies, still laughing. He gives her a look so she struggles to explain. "It's just... You said I was starting to sound like Danny and then you kissed me to shut me up."

Steve groans, dropping his head to her shoulder as she laughs outright and runs her fingers through his hair. "Shut up, Kono. If you ever tell anyone, I'll deny it and make you do all the paperwork for the next twenty years."

"Yes, Boss," she replies playfully, fingers still in his hair as he lifts his head to look back at her, still smiling widely. His hair is slick from the sweat of his run and she crinkles her nose. "You're all sweaty."

"Wanna join me?" he asks slyly, dropping a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

"Maybe," Kono replies, playing it coy, but already planning on spending the rest of the day with him in bed. She gives him a loud, smacking kiss on the lips just because she can. "How about that ride home now?"

"Oh, sure, _now_ you want a ride." She shrugs innocently. "Least I can do since I was on your side of the beach," he teases, grabbing hold of her hand and pushing her bike easily with the other as they begin walking toward the parking lot.

"That's right. Also, how do you feel about breakfast?" She leans her head on his upper arm, their fingers interlaced, Steve's thumb rubbing at the inside of her wrist.

"Let me guess. I'm paying."

"That's so kind of you to offer," she says to him, smiling widely, nearly skipping with joy.

"I'm gonna have to ask the Governor for a raise just to keep you well-fed, Kalakaua," Steve declares.

"But I'm worth it, right?" she asks, still in teasing mode but aware of the hint of urgency behind her voice as she waits for his answer. This may not be easy. They do work together and he's her boss. Even though he makes his own rules about 5-0, and Danny and Chin will most likely probably definitely eventually be fine with it, they still have hurdles to face if they want to make this "relationship" work. That's the case for any two people who find each other. It won't be easy, not when they're both so stubborn, but the first step is admitting that _this_ is worth the effort.

Steve seems to understand her thoughts because although he doesn't pause in the playful banter, his hand squeezes hers in silent comfort. "Oh, yeah. You're worth it."

Like the challenge of dragging herself out of bed early enough to watch the sunrise, the best things are always worth the trouble in the end.

"But I'm in deep shit after the gunfight in front of the library last week so you can try to convince him about any payroll issues first."

Kono laughs. "Some back-up you are."

"Hey." He squeezes her hand again, the affection in his tone warming her to the tips of her toes in the cool morning air. "You couldn't ask for better back-up than me, Kono. You know that."


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: **i'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch (i'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Here we are at the end! It's mostly team shenanigans and Steve/Kono sexytimes~, two of our favorite things, am I right? :D

Thank you **_so_ **much to those who have commented faithfully throughout this piece. I hope the end does not disappoint you. I don't care for FF's format for sharing stories and wasn't going to post my work here, but I'm so glad I did. Such enthusiasm and support from reviewers like you has made the experience worth it. I hope you'll continue to read more of my work if you love these two as much as I do!

* * *

"Dammit, Max! I said be gentle!"

"I'm sorry, Officer Kalakaua," Max says, hovering at her side to finish the last stitches on her arm. "I am being as gentle as I possibly can considering the procedure does require me threading a needle through your epidermis layer which consists of millions of sensory nerve endings that allow the body to-"

"Okay, Max, no details necessary," Kono interrupts. "And I said you can call me Kono."

"I know that, Officer Kalakaua, but right now we are in the workplace and I would like to save the more casual terms for when we gather outside of work during our personal time."

"Okay, whatever you're comfortable with then." Kono exchanges fond smiles with Chin who's standing by her side. She groans at another pinch of pain as Max works diligently. "Are you sure you numbed the skin?" she whines as Chin grabs her hand, allowing her to squeeze through the hurt. "Cause it doesn't feel numb!"

"I most certainly did. And that's quite an interesting statement, 'doesn't feel numb.' How would you feel anything if it was in fact numbed?" Chin and Kono remain silent at the question. "I must say, Officer Kalakaua, I am surprised you are so agonized over a few stitches. Were you not grazed by a bullet a few months ago in a bank shootout?"

"Yeah, she's a big baby like that," Chin comments then chuckles when she kicks him gently.

"All done," Max announces. "I will cover the area with a bandage to ensure the wound is not exposed to the elements."

"Thanks, Max."

"Also, I know you are an avid surfer, but I would recommend you avoid the water until your stitches are removed and the skin is allowed to properly heal."

Kono grumbles under her breath but nods at the doctor's orders.

"Did you hear that, cuz?" Chin makes a point of asking her. "Maybe you should repeat that part, Max. She has problems following orders when it comes to staying out of the water."

"Chin, I got it."

"Certainly," Max answers Chin, his face solemn. "I know you are an avid surfer but I would recommend-" Max begins to repeat his order when the doors of the lab slide open to reveal Danny and Steve bursting through, still in their vests and out of breath as they rush toward their teammates.

"Hey, what happened? I got your text. You guys okay?" Danny makes his way to where Kono's seated to assess her injuries. Chin steps to the side so the guys can get a better view of her arm and the wound Max is working on.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she assures them, as Steve comes to stand in front of her, peering over Max's shoulder as the medical examiner begins to apply the bandage to her arm. "It's nothing, guys, really. I'm good."

"Hey, Max," Danny says, sure now that Kono's injuries are not serious. Max nods at him and Steve in greeting.

"You weren't hurt in the raid, were you?" Steve asks. "You guys were right behind us."

"No, no, it wasn't that," Chin explains. "We got in fine but there was a corner of drywall that hadn't been completed and Kono scratched her arm on the cement. Ripped right through her sleeve. We waited until HPD got there, but it was bleeding pretty bad and the lab was closest so I called Max to let him know we were coming."

"Good thinking," Steve comments.

Danny watches as Max finishes applying the bandage and moves aside. "Ouch, stitches. Never fun. How many?"

"Nine," Kono whimpers.

"Poor baby. I'll buy you one of those chocolate souffle things you love for being such a trooper."

"Trooper? She almost cried," Chin remarks from behind her.

Kono ignores him. "Aw, thanks, Danny. With sprinkles, please."

"Yeah, yeah, with sprinkles. It's your body, put as much junk in it as you want."

"You okay?" Steve asks her, staring into the crown of her hair until she lifts her head up to look at him. His blue eyes are filled with concern as they take in a blooming bruise on her forehead and the bandage on her arm.

She gives him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, Boss, I'm fine. Just a few stitches."

"What about this?" His hand reaches out to touch the bruise, and he discreetly brushes a few strands of hair from her hairline. "Max, can you look at this?" he calls back toward the medical examiner who's on his laptop.

"No, it's fine, just a bruise from where I banged my head," Kono assures him. "He already looked at it." Her skin feels lit on fire at the brief contact of his fingertips. Wasn't Max just telling her about the skin having millions of sensory nerve endings? She thinks she understands now.

Steve nods at the news, brushing his fingers over the bruise once more, then slowly moving his hand away. He rocks on his feet, head bent to maintain eye contact with her as they exchange shy smiles, eyes twinkling at each other.

"What was that?"

Danny's question startles them from their stolen moment.

"What was what?" Steve retorts as Kono jumps in surprise.

"What was it?"

"What was _what?!_"

"The touching. There was something in that touching. Did you see something in that touching?" Danny turns to Chin, who moves from his spot behind Kono to stand next to the blond detective, both their eyes wide with curiosity, pinging back and forth between their teammates. "The touching and the looking, did you catch that?"

"There was definitely something there," Chin agrees, eyes darting between Steve and his cousin enough times to make Kono worry.

Kono chuckles nervously. "What are you guys talking about?" She starts to rise from the table, ready to make a speedy exit.

"Oh, not so fast there, Kono. Where are you runnin' off to, sweetheart?" Danny pushes at her shoulders gently to sit her back down, keeping his eyes locked on her as if she's being interrogated. He looks her up and down, arms crossed, the same smile he gets when he has some good gossip to share. "I am a trained detective, in case you forgot, and I know when there's something going on. Spill it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she says, desperately avoiding eye contact with Steve when all she wants is to exchange panicked looks with him. But that would be the most incriminating sign of all. Did they really see something in him simply touching her face? He was concerned about her health! They're teammates! She'd be worried if he had a huge bruise on his forehead too. They're being silly. They have no proof. There's no evidence. It's nothing. Danny's not that good, is he?

"Anything you want to tell us, cuz?" Chin asks calmly. Oh great. Throw in Chin's silent and deadly stare that has suspects rattling their brains to confess all the things they've done wrong in the past year, and she's screwed for sure.

"Nope," she replies steadily, hoping her voice is coming out more confident than she feels. From the way Chin narrows his eyes, it seems she's only fooling herself. How did she survive undercover considering she's the worst at lying to her own friends? This was not how she was expecting to break the news to them. She and Steve hadn't even talked about how to tell them yet. It'd only been a few weeks since the beach incident, they were taking it slow. (Well, except in the bedroom where it was all speed as their bodies collide and they search for that high then collapse in a jumble of tired limbs and frantic breathing.)

"Well, no chocolate souffle for you," Danny declares with a flourish of his hands. "You sure you have nothing to confess?"

"Oh, come on, that's not fair. I got stitches!" she exclaims, horrified at his cruelty. Taking away her chocolate? What a cold-hearted bastard.

"Well, that's what happens when you lie to your friends, Kono, you don't get nice things."

"I had _stitches!"_

"Come on, Kono, just tell us-"

"We're together."

Everyone, Kono included, turns to Steve in surprise at the confession. He meets her panicked gaze as her mouth drops in surprise. He nods at her reassuringly then turns to look at Danny and Chin, who look aghast at the news, as if he's declared he's no longer going to be involved in high speed car chases, or throwing suspects off roof, and now believes in upholding the sanctity of the Miranda Rights.

"Like, dating, or whatever," Steve adds, shrugging at the term.

There's a second of silence before someone finally speaks.

"Wow. I thought she'd break first," Chin says.

"He must really like her. He didn't want her chocolate to be taken away," Danny comments with a smirk.

"Wait, you knew?" Kono looks between the two of them. She thought there'd be more of a scene when the news finally came out. They're being quite calm about this.

"We didn't _know_. We were just waiting for it to happen sooner or later," Danny counters. "You're both crazy enough to be attracted to each other's crazy."

"Oh. Well, then... um..." Kono turns to look at her cousin who has a thoughtful smile on his face. When he notices her watching, he puts his hands up in a gesture of innocence.

"Hey, I'm not going to say anything." Kono regards him in disbelief. He's never _not_ made a comment about whoever she's seeing. This would be a first. "Not even my usual 'you break her heart, I break your face' comment," he says, his eyes going to Steve's. "You're adults. You know what you're getting into. Well, I hope you do." Kono nods solemnly. They do, and they're willing to take the chance to make it work. "You can handle it. And if you screw up a good thing, you're both idiots." He looks at them in turn. "So don't screw it up," he warns.

"Right. Thanks, Chin. I appreciate that." Steve nods in relief at the older man's reaction, his posture relaxing as he turns to Kono with a lopsided smile. "Well, that's good. That wasn't too bad."

"Yeah, thanks for asking if I was okay with you out-ing us like that to our colleagues in the _morgue_ of all places," Kono comments dryly.

"Oooh, someone's in the dog house," Danny comments with glee to Chin who laughs silently.

"What? They were gonna find out anyway!" Steve retorts. "They work at 5-0, I only hire the best."

"Are you kidding me? So you decided to break within thirty seconds and make it easy for them?!"

"Like you were so convincing! You almost ran for the door the second Danny turned on you in detective mode. And he's shorter than you!"

"Hey, hey, watch the height comments, there's no need to get nasty!" Danny yells at him. "But you did fold like a cheap lawn chair, Steven. Aren't you army men supposed to be trained to resist all forms of interrogation and torture when in enemy hands? I'm a little worried for my country right now."

"Danny, it's the Navy! How many times do I have to tell you? Why don't you understand the difference between land and sea-"

"I knew it was only a matter of time," Max announces.

The team turns to look at him, having forgotten he was still in the room. This time, Kono and Steve do exchange looks of panic and even Danny and Chin look surprised at Max's comment. The doctor swivels in his chair to look at them, lab coat flying behind him.

"Um... what now?" Danny asks comically, eyes wide at Max's comment.

"It was quite obvious to me since I started working with your team how Commander McGarrett's eyes would follow Officer Kalakaua's movements when she was in the vicinity. He often looked at her for much longer than necessary. I presumed he found her attractive because of her athletic build and symmetrical facial features. His iris sphincter muscle would contract when she was in his line of vision as a result of his brain's response to seeing an object he found of desirable interest."

There's a long pause where the team simply stares at him in shock and Steve begins to look extremely uncomfortable at hearing Max's observations out loud.

"So, you're saying he liked what he saw?" Danny translates, a wide grin on his face as Steve fidgets nervously, flushing slightly.

"Precisely." Max nods then continues. "It could be that after working in such a close atmosphere for nearly two years, even with Officer Kalakaua's recent absence while undercover, Commander McGarrett's responses became triggered by the trace of pheromones she secreted in the air around him. The naturally occurring substances provided his sensory signals information to initiate the attraction between them and further highlight his feelings of desire until I'm sure he felt no choice but to act on them."

"Aw, Steve, you were attracted to my pheromones?" Kono asks sweetly, her smile as wide as Danny's.

"Okay, this is getting weird," Chin comments, eyeing the door.

"Yeah, I'm outta here," Steve agrees, moving toward the doors, Chin following him in a hurry.

"Wait, wait, I wanna hear more!" Danny's grinning with glee, looking as though Christmas and his birthday have arrived early this year, and for his present, the state of Hawaii has outlawed all water sports. "Please continue, Max, I would love to hear your scientific insight into these two adrenaline-junkies."

"Well, it was also quite clear that Officer Kalakaua's pupils would become dilated at the sign of Commander McGarrett's muscular physique and the sight of his well-defined abdominal muscles," Max comments.

"What?" Kono squeaks, eyes widening in horror.

Steve turns from the doorway, brows raised, eyes lit with curiosity, a smirk forming. "_Really_ now?"

"Okay, we're leaving, let's go, Danny." Kono hops off the table and grabs Danny's sleeve, pulling him toward the door despite his protests.

"So, you like my 'muscular physique,' huh, Kono?" Steve grins at her, waggling his eyebrows. "Please continue, Max," Steve urges, stepping back into the room to join Danny in being part of Max's captive audience.

"Of course." Max nods at the request.

"Oh god, this is awkward," Chin moans, head in his hands.

"Considering the extensive array of body art you have gathered, Commander McGarrett, it would seem that the art acts as a sort of visual stimuli for Officer Kalakaua. From your well-defined torso, I assume you work out?" He pauses, waiting for Steve to answer.

"Yes, yes, I do," Steve brags, still grinning broadly at the comments coming from the doctor. He winks at Kono who seems shocked into silence at how the conversation got away from her so quickly.

"Well, I would have to conclude that given the care you give to your body and the time you dedicate to exercising, it is important for you to maintain the highest level of utmost performance that your extensive training in the Navy has allowed you to reach-"

"See, Danny, _Navy,_" Steve hisses. "Even Max knows. Max should be my new best friend."

Danny snorts. "Yeah, have fun with that."

"Officer Kalakaua's own care for her body's physical standards encourages her to find a mate with matching physical compatibilities in areas of performance and attractiveness. Given how much time you all spend together, as colleagues and friends, I am sure her mating instincts were awakened by your presence and she began to notice you as a potential match for her physical desires."

_"Oh my god,"_ Kono stutters, horrified at what she's hearing.

"Is that true, honey?" Steve taunts, flashing his dimples, blue eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Let's go. We're out of here." Kono leaves Danny standing there, he can stay and get a sex ed lecture from Max for all she cares, and begins to push Steve across the morgue to the sliding glass doors. "Thanks for the stitches, Max, see you in a week when I need them out," she calls over her shoulder to the scientist who waves at the departing group and turns back to his laptop.

"Putting your hands all over my well-defined torso again, are you?" Steve teases, letting her push him easily into the hallway, his eyes filled with such warmth and affection that she drops the act and laughs.

"Shut up," she replies, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. His lips are still curved in a smile as he kisses her back, his hands running through her hair, stopping gently to caress near the bruise on her forehead. "It's not me, it's my pheromones."

Steve scoffs at her excuse, grinning in amusement.

"Okay, you two, save the make-up sex for when you get home," Danny orders, joining them in the hall, the sliding doors swishing closed behind him as they make their way out of the building.

"Gross," Chin utters. "Seriously, brah? I'm standing right here."

"Right, sorry, Chin," Danny apologizes with an entirely unapologetic grin. "Let's split up the lovebirds and get back to headquarters."

"Stay safe, sailor," Kono tells Steve as the group splits at the parking lot for their separate vehicles. "Until we meet again." Chin rolls his eyes at her dramatic goodbye, silently grinning at Steve's lovesick face.

"You should be telling me to stay safe," Danny tells her. "I'm the one who's belted in while he drives like a maniac!"

"Whatever. Just don't forget my chocolate, boys," Kono instructs them with a wink, getting into the car with Chin.

Danny looks to his partner who's standing and smiling after Kono like a man who's stupidly in love but doesn't know it yet. "I guess we know who wears the cargo pants in this relationship," he notes.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," Danny replies innocently. "Let's get your lady her chocolate, shall we? Oh, but since the secret's out, you're paying. That thing costs almost ten bucks, and that's before tax."

"That's nothing new," Steve says.

"You paying? Is that an inside joke or something cause I don't get it."

"Something like that," Steve replies with a foolish smile.

Yup. Stupid in love and doesn't even know it.

"Keep that stuff in the bedroom, Steven. I don't need to hear your pillow talk."

* * *

"Five more minutes," Steve mumbles sleepily, pulling her closer to him as she reaches to turn off the alarm.

"No," she protests even as she turns to snuggle further into his bare chest, their legs tangling under the blanket as she gets comfortable in his arms. He wraps them around her waist to pull her more firmly toward him as she settles her head at the curve of his shoulder, moaning in delight at his warmth.

"You make sounds like that, you're never getting out of bed," he says, his voice low, and Kono can picture the smirk on his face even if she can't see it.

She laughs and tilts her head back to look at him, their gazes sleepy-eyed as they squint at each other. She blinks slowly, her eyes adjusting to the morning sunlight streaming into Steve's bedroom. "Surf time."

He groans. "No."

"Yes, yes." She playfully runs her fingers up and down the ladder of his ribs then grins when he snatches at her hand. He'll never admit he's ticklish, but she knows the truth. And she will use it to her advantage whenever she needs to.

"Come on, Kono, we got in at 2AM," he reminds her with a dramatic groan. He pauses to think about it. "We would have been done earlier if we didn't have to wait for that stupid warrant."

"Ah, yes. Silly little thing like the law getting in your way of busting down doors."

"Mhmm."

He runs his hand up and down her bare arm, the gesture more soothing than seductive, as if he wants to have his hands on her just because he _can._ They doze off for a few minutes then Kono turns to look at the clock again. She pokes him in the chest and he grunts, then opens one eye to look down at her.

"Surf time, Steve. You said you would come with me."

"And I will. Five more minutes," he repeats, his arms tightening around her, not letting her get out of bed when she makes a move to sit up. She begins to wriggle under the covers to get loose, legs flailing, and arms pushing at his broad shoulders. He watches her struggle with an amused smile, his hands keeping her locked against his chest with no effort at all. "Going somewhere?"

"Yes. To surf." One more push then she gives up the pitiful attempt to escape his hold. She doesn't have the energy to plot a way to outmaneuver him this early, because that's exactly what it takes when your boyfriend's a ninja - a lot of energy and a detailed escape plan. He's built like a MAC truck with broad shoulders and that freakish upper body strength of his. She settles back down, absentmindedly tracing the lines of his tattoo, a move she resorts to quite often when in his arms. It's as if she's trying to reach to the skin beneath the ink, so she can say she's touched every inch of him too.

"I haven't been in the water all week," she muses out loud, more talking to herself than him.

"You haven't slept all week either," he tells her gently. "I love the water as much as you but after this case, we need sleep." She nods because it had been a tough two weeks with a drug trafficking incident turning into a hostage situation which turned into a murder. Finally closing the case last night had been a relief, but as exhausted as she had been from running on little sleep and lots of coffee, she's missed the water and told herself to get on her board today, no matter what.

"We have to help paint Grace's room today too," she reminds him, thinking of their weekend plans.

"Right," he says through a yawn. "Didn't we just paint her room when Danno moved in? Dark blue, right?"

"Not just 'dark blue,' thank you very much. It was called Sparkling Sapphire of the Sea."

"Yeah, okay, that's what I said. That was like three months ago."

"Right. But three months ago, blue was her favorite color. Now, it's purple," she explains to him. "So we'll be painting it some vivid shade of plum or something in that color family. Keep up, Uncle Steve," she teases with an eyeroll.

"How could she made have made such a life-altering decision in three months?" Steve wonders.

"Because she's a woman, and she's allowed to change her mind as many times as she wants, whenever she wants."

"She's eleven," Steve says, the confusion clear on his face.

"Exactly."

"Whatever. How about you? You change your mind about surfing yet?" His voice rumbles in her ear, his hands sliding down her back to the bottom of her tank top, his fingers playing with the hem, brushing lightly at the skin of her stomach.

"No!" She knows what he's doing and vows to remain strong even as his hands slide under her shirt, his fingertips caressing up the staircase of her ribs. "Don't you dare, Steve."

"Dare what?" he asks innocently, voice muffled as he slides lower on the bed to kiss the line of her jaw. He looks at her, wide awake now and his hands smooth back her bangs as she unconsciously arches to give him better access. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Steve..." she warns, trying to make her voice come out stern but failing as it hitches when he pulls her shirt off and quickly covers her with his body so she doesn't get the chills. He's considerate like that. She doesn't get cold, but her skin goes warm all over, goosebumps appearing for a different reason. She moans in frustration as he brushes his lips across hers lightly, again and again, not lingering like she wants, his morning whiskers teasing her. She gives a little growl at his teasing, muttering "jerk" under her breath when he pulls his head up to look at her.

"Yes, Kono?" He quirks an eyebrow at her, his lips threatening to curve into a smile as she rolls her eyes. That bastard. There's a reason she likes being on top. He takes way too much pleasure in trapping her more delicate frame under his larger body and not letting her budge. She reaches up, fingers brushing his magnificent cheekbones (seriously, it's so _not_ fair) and pulls his face to hers for their first real kiss of the morning. Despite his earlier teasing, he makes a sound of approval at her move. She opens her mouth and their tongues begin a ritual they've perfected after months of waking up together.

Kono loops her arms around his neck, massaging the muscles that are tense there, and he mumbles her name, their mouths only separating to catch a breath then dive back in. She hisses as he nips at her bottom lip, then soothes it with his tongue. Her hands wrap firmly around his neck to hold him in place as he eagerly adjusts himself between her parted legs.

Wasn't she vowing to stay strong about something? It's hard to think clearly through the haze of lust-filled thoughts as the sound of her low moans and his heavy breathing fill the bedroom over the hum of the ocean from his backyard.

"I wanted to surf..." She attempts to convince him, and herself, one last time, even as she runs her hands down his back, gasping as he kisses the ridge of her collarbone.

"And you will surf," he assures her, lifting his head to look into her eyes. "Tomorrow," he adds with a wink before he bends his head to kiss her again. She shivers in delight at the contact, her hands running through his short hair as his fingers reach to toy with the waistband of her shorts. Her body jumps at the brush of his fingers against sensitive skin, her breathing becoming more labored, and he smiles in satisfaction.

That _smug_ bastard. She should have flipped him as soon as she woke up so she'd have the upper hand. Tomorrow morning, for sure.

"Thought you wanted to go back to sleep," she mutters, and he chuckles at her indulgently. Yeah, _right._ Like they're going back to sleep now.

"We will sleep. After," he orders, kissing her again, his hands sliding down to interlace their fingers. What is it with him and her hands? He seems to love seeing the stark contrast of her delicate fingers and smooth palms compared to the callouses on his. If she didn't find it so adorable herself, she'd call him out on it.

"Stop bossing me around," she demands, hoping to sound like she has still has some sort of control in this situation and he didn't use one his SEAL sneak attacks to get her half naked and on her back. They're not at work right now. He can't just tell her to stay put and expect her to listen. She barely listens to that order at work.

He laughs outright at her comment, throwing his head back and dimples flashing, and she finds herself grinning up at him. His chest rumbles with laughter, and she can feel her own body shake slightly through their contact. If it's one thing she prides herself on, it's getting him to laugh much more freely and a lot more often. The man has a beautiful laugh and she's happy he's using it more. Plus, the view when he does makes her a little weak in the knees, so it's really for both their benefits.

"I'm sorry, honey," he apologizes, his tone full of fond amusement. "Did you want to go surfing today?" he asks politely, playing along as he places sloppy open-mouthed kisses along the curve of her neck.

She lets out an exaggerated sigh as if she's made up her mind after a great deal of thought, then replies, "No, I'll go tomorrow." He lifts his head to smirk at her, and she raises an eyebrow at him in challenge. "What? I'm allowed to change my mind as a woman."

"Yes, yes, you are," he agrees, turning on his side to rest his head on her pillow, their noses brushing, exchanging breaths of air. He drops a kiss along the curve of her cheek. "Thanks for not leaving me."

Kono nods, wrapping her hands around his neck to pull him closer, as if that was even possible. She doesn't want an inch of space between them, that's all. They exchange sweet smiles, his hands lovingly brushing away strands of hair sticking to her forehead before he whispers her name and steals another kiss. She sighs happily, burrows further into him, pulling him back on top of her, his weight crushing her in the most wonderful of ways. So maybe she had been a little hasty about getting played this morning; this position's not so bad after all.

They kiss lazily, hands brushing up and down bare skin, stopping only to catch their breaths and moan each other's names. She arches her back as he begins kissing down her neckline again, his favorite of all the paths on her (until he discovers a new one).

If there's one lesson Kono's learned since her surfing days, it's that sometimes it's okay to sleep in. The ocean will be there tomorrow even if the tides are never the same. But that's alright; the world changes every day and it'd be silly to try and keep up. Like the rhythm of the water she knows best, all you can do is try your best to dive in and see where it takes you, see if you stand successfully or fail miserably, then get back up and try it again. It also helps to have someone on the beach to cheer you on. There's nothing like the joy of performing for a captive audience.

She may miss the waters and the sunrise today, but she can see what tomorrow has to offer, and the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that.

Some things are worth missing the best waves for.

Well, some _people._


End file.
